just for today

"Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me"

I'd like to be unafraid, unpanicked, unanxious, unterrified.  So, for right this minute, I'm ok.  That's all I can commit to for the time, in this matter.

sitting in suds in my sleep

I've been feeling rather discombobulated of late.  So this latest fubar didn't even ruffle my fine feathers.  I went back to the bathroom to switch my clothes from the washer to the dryer and I heard flowing water as I walked down the hall.  For a very disconcerting moment I thought The Guy was here and pee'ing in the potty.  But, no.  That would have been very surreal.   And just so very wrong.

Instead, my washer drained into my tub and filled my toilet.  Suds were dribbling over the rim of the porcelain, flowing down like a miniature fountain.  I simply sighed, turned off the valve for the toilet and left the room.

Tomorrow?  I'll have a very clean toilet.  Sudsy clean.

Just hope it drains down a bit so I don't sit in suds in my sleep tonight.

bathing in the comforting outpouring of concern

I am so thankful that I've discovered how compassionate folks are with me.  I was not aware that so many folks care and want to be there.  In addition to you, my dear lovely loyal readers, I've been getting some very warm and touching eMail and IMs.  I've spent more time on the telephone these last three days than I have in all of the last three years, with folks who are so very caring and concerned.  I would like to reiterate how very much I appreciate you.

Thank you.

ack, omg, ack, pantpant

I awoke in a sheer panic this morning.  I hate that.  It hasn't happened for quite some time, but it is one of the most dreaded feelings for me.  This is because my body is already well within the process of panicking when I first gain awareness and then my mind begins to scramble to be sure that I'm safe and not in immediate need of fight/flight.  Then, it doesn't not abate, and for quite some time afterwards, my nerves buzz and my blood boils and my innards imitate enthusiastically played accordions.

Most folks experience mental distress, which prompts the attack.  While I do have those sorts of episodes (anyone who has spoken with me the last few days has witnessed this, since I've been engaging in heavy breathing as tho I am in the 26th mile of a marathon straight up an unpaved mountain gravel path); the more unpleasant panic is prompted by a bodily reaction which then triggers mental distress.  The reason this sort of attack is more frightening for me is that I feel I've less control over the physical reactions than the mental ruminations.

But it is most likely false to think that the panic I awake with is unprompted by mental processes.  I'm sure that my dreaming mind must be experiencing perceived threats and such, of which I'm unaware in my sleep.  Jolted awake with a tightening chest, scrambling frantically, throat locked in a scream, doom swamping me.

Sometimes, I hate being me.

imma ijit

earlier this morning (like ya know, 2am-ish or so), i realized that while i've been very vigilant about my medicine and drinking enough and sleep hygiene (well except ya know tonight) for the past few days when i was in my more vulnerable states...i've been a d'uhm debbie d'uhm.  sigh.  around 2am-ish or so (i am nothing if not redundant) i was pouring myself a some tea and juice when i realized that i've not eaten a damn thing since friday.

that's very very unlike me.  i've never understood that 'i'm so upset that i can't eat' and i honestly don't believe that i've ever forgotten to eat.  i like food too much.  and when i'm preoccupied, nervous, anxious, and other forms of upset; i usually tend to eat lots and ravenously and fast and the very act of mastication seems to soothe me.  so i actually stood there with the fridge open, staring at the bare shelves, trying to cast my mind about to ascertain what i'd last ate and when.  and i think, i'm pretty sure, that it was friday evening, when i had a mushroom backyard burger from batesville.

four friggen days.  i think i need to stop at the store tomorrow afternoon on my way home from the meeting at the library at noon-ish.  the weird thing is, i'm not hungry.  i know that i need to eat, my body needs it, my brain needs it, my meds need it, and it'd just be a damn good idea.

chide me, sigh, i deserve it.  but i'm gonna eat!  later today.  i promise.

surprise, surprise, surprise

It turns out, that maybe my wrath does know some bounds.  I need to process some of the recent events, but things may be not quite as bad as I feared.  Oh, not that 'my guy' and I will again be a 'we'; no, that would not be a very good thing (too much damage has been done and both of us realize how utterly unhealthy that would be~~besides, he has a new person in his life that actually seems to be an excellent choice.  he always said that if we broke up, he would want to choose my next man; but i must say that i think i approve of this woman.  she truly is very mature and seems to be quite level-headed.)

What I mean is that altho I will still be angry at times, I think that I am in a better place.  I think the major raw blustering storm has passed.  I don't think this calm is merely the eye of the storm (at least, I sincerely hope not), but that I am not as overwhelmed as I was.

I was terrified, and altho I am still scared, I am not feeling threatened and in need of protecting myself to the same degree as I've felt for the past few days.  I want to thank all of you for weathering thru this with me.  It is certainly not thru, not by a long shot, but I think I feel more assured that I can do this.

Each and every one of you have been so kind and supportive, encouraging and accepting and I want you to know how very much I appreciate you.

I will be removing some of my previous entries, as I have had such toxic anger spewing forth and I do not think that I can bear to have these recent posts as constant reminders of my wrath and rage.  'tisn't my way.  I've saved all your comments, and if I want to reread them, I can.

I've been completely devastated and know that there is a rough road ahead, but I think I can navigate it without becoming mired in muck.  To do that, I need to put these past entries aside, where they won't be a constant reminder.  None of you need feel that I'm so fragile that I cannot bear to think of this whole situation, it is what it is.

I'm ready to move on, taking the next step.  I'm sure I will come back to this horrid place for a visit, but I hope it is brief.  And if you haven't any idea what I'm speaking of because you've missed all the drama, drama, drama; count yourself lucky and enjoy some of my other entries.  Just chalk this up to a worthy woman's lesson.

appreciation

So dudes, I was looking back thru my journal cuz I was feeling the need to remind myself how witty I can be and how my Loyal Lovely Readers (compliments will make you continue reading, right?  right?!?) have such great reactions, ya know those chuckles, snorts, gasps, and tears of hilarity ya'll weep over my clever descriptions and turns of witty words.  And I found a ton of great comments.  And I wanted to say....

I appreciate you!

Dealing with Dragons

Today, I returned Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights unread (well, I read about two-thirds of Jane Eyre and none of Wuthering Heights); as I just didn't think it was very appropriate reading for me at this time.  Cuz dude, pining damsels in distress?  Got enough drama, thankewverymuck.

So I picked up ten books (the library's holdings) by John Lescroart, a legal-thrillmeister; and asked the librarians to recommend some audio books that do not deal with relationships and turmoil and crap like that.  They suggested the light-hearted, fun series by Patricia Wrede called "Enchanted Forest Chronicles"; of which "Dealing with Dragons" is the first book (sorta in the same way that the Hobbit may be considered the first of the Lord of the Ring series...or not.  depends on your view).  The fourth book was actually written and published first.  The rest, the back story, came later.  So now, you read the first book last.  Ya know?  That could lead to dilemmas such as should I read the books in order of the author's writing them?  In order of publication?  In order of the storyline?  Usually this sort of thing would make me think long and hard about the underlying issues and bigger questions of life, but at the moment?  I'm just gonna deal with the damn dragon.

oh those ancient greek games...

*this entry has been edited from it's original content, wed 30 july 08*

if you look to the left, under the 'about me' heading (well, under the pic of me a handful of months ago); you will see this icon:

I belong to Crochetville, a lovely site for crochet'ers (I seem to be stating the obvious lots lately, helps to reassure me that there really is objective reality that is not a guise for something else, something deceitful).  There are about 21,720 members; 7000 of whom are very active.  The good folks and administrators over there have decided to have a bit of a self-challenge competition that will coincide with the summer Olympics.

The idea is that you think of a project (or projects) that is a personal challenge to you for whatever reason (it could be learning and using a new technique; tackling a dauntingly large afghan or some other intimidating project; completing twelve hundred squares for donation to create afghans for the troops/homeless/poor/seniors/hospitalized; or knocking out a portion or all of your christmas gift list) to commence with the opening ceremonies august 8th and completed by august 24th; ya know, the time frame of the Olympic games.  So far, 136 folks signed on as athletes and there are even quite a few teams formed.  I'm sure that in the next ten days many more will join in the reindeer games that we play.

I've decided to participate, choosing three crochet quilts (or "quilt-ghans") as my personal challenge.  They are found at the happy yellow house site.  There is this one, and uhm this one, and oh hey this one.  Here are the pix that accompany the patterns:

      

When I decide on yarns and who is receiving what, I'll let ya know.  Because I've returned the loaned web-cam; there won't be any pix in the foreseeable future.  But with yarn samples and scanned clips, I'm sure that you can use your imagination.

I'm not sure who will get which yet; but since I like to think of that person while I crochet that specific project, I'll have to make up my mind in the next week.  The yarn will be chosen after I know for whom the afghans are intended.

so uhm that's what's on my calender this month.

the wrath of a worthy woman

this month is my fifth anniversary.  guess what i got?  a cheating lying despicable pathetic asshole who wants my forgiveness, for the third time.  not happening.   my wrath knows no bounds.

the stuff dreams are made of

My allergies are the worst they've been in quite some time; worse than when the world begins to bloom in the spring, releasing all their toxins, i mean pollens.  Even worse than in the fall when all the plant life mutates into dying, rotting, decaying mold and dust.  This morning, I blew my nose so hard that my right eye popped out and ricocheted off the computer screen and rolled under the bed {eeek, dustbunnies}; requiring a soaking in saline along with my sinuses.  My throat and ears are removable as well, allowing me to scrub and rinse them thoroughly.  Sooooooooooothing.  And also?  I can cough up my lungs and soak them in saline too, rinsing and wringing out all those lil nasty pockets where irritants might be lurking.  This is the stuff that I fantasize, cleaning my innards.

Yeah, I'm that romantic.

garter? or headband? BOTH!!

just having fun and messing around with various yarns, stitches, and techniques.  and i cannot actually use this, one...it's too narrow. and bee...it's not a large enough diameter/circumference.  but there it is!!

(as an aside, i actually hate to see babies with little elastic satin straps around their bald tender heads...what torture!)

aoljurlAdd, aoljurlAdd_1

In the thick pink, for Cathy

*wink*

I made this pink headband this afternoon just a bit smaller than the pale green one posted yesterday.  I have very thick hair and it is very easy for me to stretch out headbands and have them pop right off my head, fly across the room and snap my guy's ass like a twisted wet towel flicked by a naughty pert girl.  grin.

 if ya look in the back ground, you'll see a portion of what i am working on for my nutella grrl!!  of course, when it comes together, i'll take better pix and explain it.  the reason my hair curves forward like that around the headband is because it's so thick (my hair, not the band!) and the weight of it makes it lay like that.  as you can see in the first pic above, it does that even when my chin is not tucked into my neck like a bird.

aoljurlAdd, aoljurlAdd_2

Some tids and bits

The cat on loan has been returned and my sinuses and allergies are lots better.  Snake-A-Way has been scattered according to the intended purposes (cuz the label sternly instructed me to do so).  My guy and I poked about, and either the snake is crafty in his hiding abilities, or he has vacated the premises, heading for the rolling hills and fields.  I hope that's the case.

In a few weeks, my guy will be moving to Hazard, Kentucky for his internship year.  He has collected most of the data needed for his three month follow-up and the final stage for his dissertation.  He's kinda crushed for time, as there is so much to do and he's not so sure it will all be done when it needs to be.  I'm confident in his abilities and am sure that it will all be done with his normal skill and aplomb.

As far as my own crochet goes here of late, this is the first headband I've made.  I'm not sure how it fits, cuz I just washed my hair and haven't yet combed it out.  My hair is very thick and it needs to be thinned a bit, cuz in the summer, it is almost unbearable!!  I'm sorta proud of myself for not shaving it down to the scalp like I've done in the past, the last time was in June 2006.  I might maybe take a pic of my head of hair modeling the headband.  Or not.

aoljurlAdd, aoljurlAdd_1

haluski

sometimes my guy really likes something i've cooked and he always seems somewhat surprised by that.  so, when i asked him to get a gallon of milk, a head of cabbage, and some onions; he perked up and asked if he needed to get some noodles for me too.  when he got back from the store with those things and a bunch of bananas, he asked if i was gonna make it now?  make it now?  ya gonna make it now?  even tho it was after ten at night.

so, angel hair pasta is done (this is not the usual sort of noodle found in haluski) and waiting in the colander.  two red/purple onions are sauteeing in butter, soon to be translucently perfect.  the cabbage is chopped and ready to go.

haluski will be served, for tonight, we dine well!

Cat on Loan

The phone service returned this evening, I have no idea what was so wrong that it took three days to fix, but there you have it.  Whilst I had no dial-up, I crocheted an octagonal baby blanket.  Pictures below!

Over the weekend, I plan to visit folks who left comments and such over the past few days.  So if I don't get to you by Monday, please let me know (I don't want to overlook anyone, tho sometimes it takes awhile for me to get to all the pages, esp since aol journals can take a long time to download for some reason).  Thanks, dudes!

Status on the snake?  It's not made another appearance since earlier this week.  The cat on loan is here and making herself useful in other ways.  I love cats, even tho I am very allergic to them.  This cat is not affecting me too badly, but I will have to return her after a bit.  I also got some snake-a-way.  Potent shit, so it says.  The label warns that any snakes trapped inside the parameter you treat will not leave because they won't cross the sulfur line.  So, since it is to rain over the next few days, and the label warns not to dilute the stuff, I plan to use it Monday.  Til then, the cat on loan can do her thing.  Also, I'll start going thru the house, cupboards, closet, etc. with intent to roust.

snakes! and cats! and books! *oh! my!*

So Tuesday afternoon I checked my voice-mail and then thought I'd better use the bathroom before I return any calls (cuz it's better than getting thru to the person only to have to go, ya know?).  When I picked up the phone to do that business after I did my other business, the line was dead.  I don't mean that open line dead space dead; I mean dead dead.

I thought my actual phone had become defective, so I went out to the box on the pole and tried there.  No joy.  So I went down to my landlords cuz I was gonna have to tell Lisa about the Damn Snake and the most recent encounter which occured Monday night whilst doing my laundry (I pulled the bed out and when I did that, my left hand closed around the snake, it was up in my box spring, just hanging out on the boards...i think it was waiting til the bleach fumes disappated from the bathroom where the washer is, the entire back half of my home was full of hot, humid, bleach fumes).

Long story just a tad shorter, it turns out none of us have phone service.  So Perry called the phone folk and they said that it may be Saturday before they can get out to fix the lines but they are aware of the problem sir and will take care of it when they can.  Since Tuesday, I've no phone service, which means no dial-up, which means no internet, which means no journalling.

But today, I hauled my monkey butt to the public library to get the first book in a series for which I already have borrowed the second book (and I hate to do things out of order that way), to check my eMail, to send eMail to those folks who would be concerned that I died of fright because that Damn Snake's shinanigans have proven to be too much, and then I saw that Russ that doodling dude has showcased my journal (thanks dude!) and folks have visited, some (hi, guys!!) even leaving comments (kenya magin?) wahoo!

Once I have my wits about me, and phone service, I'll visit folks' journals and update more details.  As it is now, I have borrowed one of my landlords' cats (even tho I am terribly allergic to them and Mystery is very very affectionate) to deal with that Damn Snake (cuz Mystery kicks ass and kills snake butt, she's a stealthy sneaky hissing snake ninja).  Since I am in town today, I plan to go to Lowe's to check out this Snake-B-Gone stuff (or snake-a-way) that Lisa told me about to see if that'd be a good thing for me to have and use.

So, ya'll be safe while enjoying your fourth activities and I'll catch ya on the other side!

no strewing allowed

Ya know some days you just know you shouldn't leave the house?  Or get out of bed?  or even wake up?

Well, I had arranged to meet with a woman next town over to give her the fifteen 12" granny squares that'd I'd done over the past week so that she could see them assembled into an afghan to give to some soul who is in need.  So first I drove to the library to exchange some audio books, and then I was gonna hop on the interstate and be on my way to Books-a-Million over in Columbus.  I shoulda not went the way I did.  I shoulda backtracked and caught the highway that way.  But shoulda-coulda-woulda here drove past the university when I left the library...past the state highway patrol...past an a distracted driver who coasted into my lane.

the key word there is "past".

I was in the left lane, as the right lane is usually full of folks who may turn at any moment into various roads and businesses.  Usually, driving in the left lane means I don't need to slam on the breaks because someone in front of me decided they just had to have that donut right now from this gas station right here.  Sounds like a good theory, but not today.

Today?  The sporty new black heavily tinted windows (watch for em) car in the right lane drifted (actually, i'd say veered, but i'm not sure if that's what they were intending to do...cuz damn, that's alotta drift) into my lane.  As in, the space my vehicle was occupying at that precise time.  Now, when two matters attempt to occupy the same space simultaneously, there tends to be a smashing crash with damaged and dented auto bodies and human bodies and spraying glass (from the auto bodies) and blood (from the human bodies).

I couldn't stop in enough time not to get involved in that smashing crash, so I chose the left shoulder to give some room to the sporty new glossy black heavily tinted windowed vehicle who was encroaching on my space.  Which would have been a fine idea, but for the sign posts directly ahead of me and my new path.  So I stomped on the gas, cleared the shiny new sporty black heavily tinted windowed car (whose driven was newly awoken and jerked back into the right lane while screaming quite loudly) and swerved back onto the road.  As soon as I got the fishtailing under control (seems like minutes while it's happening to you, but in reality is mere seconds...but no two vehicles can occupy the same space even for mere seconds, dudes), I looked around me and checked behind me.

No crashed up vehicles strewn the road.  No stalled vehicles strewn the road.  No vehicles strewn the road.  No strewing going on at all.

There was no hit, no damage.  In fact, the other vehicle didn't stop at all.  Until later, after they entered the new highway and I saw them pull off the road.

As I was saying (well, ok, exclaiming) as the shiny black sporty car was pushing into my space, "omg, omg, whathefuck is this?"  I've been saying that entirely too much lately, first snakes slithering in my space (and really, my hall, in my home?  my space) and now sporty cars slithering in my space (and really? my car in my lane, my space; that's why there are nice brightly painted  lines on the road surface).

Too much excitement for me.

My landlord came up this evening, with a contraption that had one of those handles that when you squeeze it, it triggers a mechanism which allows the pincers on the other end to close.  Folks use them to pick up trash.  Or snakes, apparently.

As I described and re-enacted the snake scene from last night (that was quite amusing, cuz I really did screech ohdamnohdamnohdamn omigawd whathefuck, as I jumped into the bathroom from the hallway).  My landlord stared at me in astonishment, yet again amazed that he has me for a tenant.  Then he looked under the chair sitting at the end of the hall, he poked and probed with the stick and shown the flashlight, in a manly man way.

Then he quickly threw open the back bedroom door, simultaneously flipping on the light, and jumping into the room.  I guess he was hoping for a sneak attack.  I'm pretty sure that if there was a snake's den back there, they all cleared out when I was re-enacting the scene from last night.

"ya know them snakes can be real crafty about sneaking into small spaces," he said reassuringly (?!?).  "Oh yes," I replied, "but hopefully, he ate the mouse that's been getting bold with my toilet paper."  "hm," he muttered absentmindedly, then did a double take, "what?"

So then I told him about the rather bold mouse that was chowing down on the hard plastic bakery box last week.  Mr. Mouse was so busy going to town, so pre-occupied that he completely missed the fact that I had approached the counter and switched the stove light on.  I could have reached out and plucked him up, had I wanted to.  Which I didn't.  I mean, free range mice are carriers of all sorts of vermin. 

But boy, you shoulda seen him jump when I flicked on the light.  Scared the shit right outta him, I did.  In a trail of pellets across the kitchen counter.

"So," my landlord asks nonchalantly, "is that where the toilet paper came into play?"

"Good one, but no.  The toilet paper has apparently been providing a nice nesting material for him.  I've not seen the nest.  But I've have seen some shredded toilet paper rolls under the sink in the bathroom.  Ya know, where I keep the toilet paper.  In the bathroom."  Looking at him oddly.

Quickly, he resumes his snake tales, "ya know, the snake in not poisonous {actually, I'm thinking, it's not venomous}cuz if it is as long as you say {peering at me sharply} then it isn't.  Those snakes are fat, but short."  {Oddly, I remembered Goldie Hawn's character's line in Overboard, "I was fat, and short?"}

I did not feel much better after he'd gone.  This is not thru any fault of his.  It's just, ya know, snakes are crafty.  And I do live in the middle of a hay field, which they have just mown today for the first cut of the summer.  They'll be baling it up over the next few days.  All sorts of critters' homes were disturbed, so I'm sure I have many visitors.

As long as the snake just slithers in stealthily and eats all those varmints, and then just as sneakily slips on out, I'll be just fine.  And he can stay in the back ground all he wants.  Just not the back bedroom, cuz dude, that's a little too familiar.

square it up

well, lately i've been a crocheting crochity curl.  here are a sample of the twelve inch squares that i've completed within the past week.  there are twelve of them.  altho only seven are pictured below, because i've done some duplicates of some of the ones pictured.  if you notice, fiveof them focus only on a quarter of the square.  this is to show more detail and not to be redundant since they are squares.  ya know, so each quarter of the square is the same as the other three quarters.  the one with more detail is because i wanted to show the cobbled bobbles.  There is another that was still in progress when i scanned it.

aoljurlAdd, aoljurlAdd_1

cold hearted snnnnnnnnnnnaAKE

I was thinking that I wanted to call my guy.  Cuz I miss him.  Then I decided to go ahead and go pee first.   So I headed down the hall and stepped on a snake.  In my hall.  In the house.  In my hall.  In my fucking house.

Dudes, it freaked me out.

I think the snake was freaked too, cuz there was a horrible smell emitted in a sliminess.  and now, i'm really freaked.  cuz i've been smelling that smell on and off for a few days now.  and my imagination is conjuring hidden snakes slithering everywhere.  i cannot stop convulsing.  and sweating.  and every single freaking hair on my entire body is standing on end because my goosebumps have goosebumps.

it's the butler! behind the door! with the poker!!

I've been listening to an audio book which has a good plot and several good subplots and good characters and is just in general, good.  With the exception that there are some glaringly obvious (to me, anyway) events that make me wanna scream at the principle figures, "dudes!  don't be some dumb!  d'uhm dudes, d'uhm".

Normally stuff like that doesn't bother me.  I note it, but don't get all in a snit about it.  But here of late, I've been very irritable (and probably irritating too).  And I've been sniping at the cd, very much like I'm some crazed driver rabid with road rage.

Good thing my guy's not here.

pee.

I've been very thirst for a few days.  So, I've been drinking lots and lots.  And pee'ing lots and lots, often.  Which makes doing much of anything for any amount of time extremely challenging.  Case in point, my counseling session was interrupted more often by my bladder than my pregnant consoler's.  Between the two of us, a nice little path was worn from her office, across the wooden floored waiting room, thru the tiled entrance way, and down the carpeted hall (variety, i'm allllllllll about variety).

As quick as I can pour water down my throat, it escapes thru my pores is copious sweat.  And courses thru my body and flushes my cells and filters thru my kidneys and fills my bladder.  It's like I'm one of those doll babies that wets as you give it a bottle.

ain't ya glad i share stuff like this?

easy, they say. faster, they say. snort, i say.

Last night, I was watching Fox (cringe) "news" and they had a lil snippet about how there are scads and scads of Mississippians who didn't file for their stimulus boost.  So the reporter admonished us slackers to go on and claim the damn money wouldja, it ain't like Bush will be remembered for anything else positive.  I dug thru my paperwork and find the ssa-1099 that was sent to me this year (it's sorta like your working person's w-2, or your self-employed person's 1099; only it's for those of us that receive funds from the social security administration~that's where the ssa comes into the 1099 picture), along with the stuff that i had on the stimulus payment info which included five pages of directions and a sample 1040A and a blank form to fill out.

And i commenced to reading the documents which were liberally peppered with "do this except in this situation and only if you have blonde hair and were born on a tuesday" sorts of missives.  those super clear and easy statements that bring to mind those logic puzzles that start out with a few statements (like:  there are seven soups served on five days and two soups are served every day, but pea soup is never served with chicken soup and crab soup is only served with chicken corn soup) and then you're spoda figure out if Mary and Jim went all the way on their second date.  so you can see that i was really excited by the line on page 2, subsection B, indent * that read, "you too can go on line! and use our super! easy! and fast! website to file your return so that you too! can claim your stimulus payment!! yes! you can!".

i was thrilled and relieved to think that no! i wasn't gonna have to suffer! thru attempting to fill out a return when i'm at way less than my operating capacity.  first i went to the "just go to our www.irs.com website to file, it's fast! easy! and blah blah blah"  that's about as long as my attention span was.  blah blah blah.

once i got to the www.irs.com site, i couldn't find the "file here" (fast! and easy!) option.  eventually i got it, but i was thinking, maybe it'd be easier to just fill out the damn form and send it in.  but then i'd have to find the address to send it to.  so i persisted.

long story a tad shorter, it took me three friggen hours to file electronically.  the thing was, once i got started, i was afraid to stop and then send in the written form cuz ya know, the irs ain't playin' and i don't need them to be thinking i'm trying to pull a quick one on them by filing twice.  so i pushed thru the eFile.

dudes, i filed single.  no children (or any other dependents).  nothing complex like iras, retirement plans, service served, educational credits and deferments etc etc.  and i have one income source as seen by people's exhibit a (the ssa-1099 aforementioned).  and it is so far below any cut-off point that it doesn't even make it on the scene (sorry but $6804 may be a laughing matter for the irs's eFiling forms and created a snafu, but for me, that money is my money and all that i got~~so yeah, $300 is no chump change to this chump.  cuz it's what, about half of my monthly income).  you'd have thought that it wouldn't have been so difficult to file.  not even in my current state.

three hours.  damn.  but those are probably the highest paid three hours i've spent in a long long time.  (i used to charge more when i was a research consultant for private firms and universities~back when i could think about more than one thing at a time and follow the threads thru)  now i'll be able to pay my electric bills this summer and use that air conditioner as it was meant to be used, by god.

3hrs=$300
coolness?  priceless

ya putz de onyunz in de budder

Sometimes, I cook when I can't sleep.

I'm adjusting, slowly and almost painfully, to the reintroduction of the meds into my system and it's kinda touchy right now.  One minute, I'm wired and wide awake and fifteen minutes later, I'm exhausted and my eyelids have slammed shut.  Another not so fun loveliness is that my appetite will go from "omg starving ravenous dump the food in my gullet now forget the chewing stuff {that's for sissies}" hunger to "banish that smelly lumpy squiggly pasty stuff from my sight and let me fling the toilet lid up cuz i can only gag so much" aversion to anything that might faintly resemble a substance that i might willingly put into my body.  yeah, i'm that fun.

which means that more times than not right now, i cook something and then the minute it comes off the stove into my bowl, my stomach starts to twist itself tighter than a bread-tie and my throat slams shut, making my tongue swell like a smarting thumb caught in your car door.  this also squeezes the tears outta me and makes sweat pop outta my pores.

or maybe i'm pregnant.

nah, not a chance.  and i do mean that, not a chance.  lack of exposure will do that to a girl, ya know.  i figured since i'm covering a wide array of bodily functions, i oughtn't to leave procreation outta the picture.

so, i'm making progress, of sorts.  i chopped up some onions and dropped some butter in the pan.  sauteed those babies perfectly, just translucent as tissue paper.  added some shredded carrot, for the color and also because steamed carrots are very sweet without being overpowering.  it smelled great, it looked great...and then i added some dried tomatoes (muwah!) and tossed it all with a ton of angel hair pasta.  i say 'ton' cuz i can't seem to make a small amount of anything, and the sauce grew to a huge portion so i needed a ton of pasta to balance it out.  that's me, allllll about balance.  yeah.

and i snorkled an entire bowl with no rebellion.  now i just gotta work on my timing.  cuz i don't think i should be cooking and eating at 4:30 in the friggen morning.  especially not pasta.  with onions.  and butter.

at least i left the garlic in the fridge.  yeah, like that'd make all the difference between a very soothing dish and a snorkling pasta bowl.  snort.

Sometimes, I ain't all there. Or here, for that matter.

Yeah so last week, I realized that I was getting low on my meds.  But because my allowable refills all have different date and I hate that, cuz it confuses me when I go and they say to my monkey-butt (thanks, jerb) that I need to wait on these two til this date and this here other one to this here date and oh! that one doesn't even have a refill, ya twit.  well, then i can't keep it all straight.  i like it better when my Rxs all have the same number of refills and were filled on the same date and so can be refilled on the same date.

Yeah so, when I realized I was getting low on my meds, last week (pay attention); I dug around in my overflow and lo! and behold! I found enough meds of the right sort in the right dosages to last me til I can go and get everything refilled at once.  by "overflow", i mean those extra days worth of pills that you have every month that most prescriptions have built into them, as extra padding.  I take a lot of meds, for a long time, so I've got me my cushion fluffed nice and full.  Just for times like these.

'xepting, I didn't have extra-overflow-padding-cushion of one med.  and i wasn't paying attention cuz i had it all set up with the others.  ya know, my own lil six pack system, with the bottles lined up according to when i take what.  i've tried those lil pill sorters and all, but they actually goof me up worse cuz i don't see when i'm getting low.

well, that one med?  the one i didn't have?  the one i finished friday?  (k, i didn't say that before, but i just did)  I rediscovered what happens to me when i go without that particular med.  it ain't pretty.  and because the absence of that particular med in my system means that i have next to no mental acuity and way increased fatigue and confusion...well, i didn't link my off-kilter poor feeling with the absence of said med.  til tuesday morning.

d'uhm, debbie, d'uhm.

so now that i'm back on the med, more of me is here.  here i am!  ta-da!!

minty mint tea

Well, I now turn the air conditioner off, while making tea.  It seems that there is a little too much draw on the circuit and altho the breaker doesn't flip, the fridge does lose power and so to prevent that from happening, I just turn the ac off while the tea drips thru its tea pot (which is a drip coffee pot that has only ever had tea run thru it since I acquired it~~coffee drinkers who visit will find a small four cup pot for their coffee and the bigger twelve cup pot for tea tea tea!!).  I'm not exactly sure what's up with the breaker not flipping and yet the fridge losing power.  I've decided that's really not the issue, the issue is that by turning the ac off, while making tea, I can prevent myself from going thru the hassle of standing in the bathroom, moving the chair in the hall from one side of the bathroom door to the other side of the bathroom door and then squeezing into the room behind that and getting to the breaker box and then flipping all the breakers (cuz i don't know which one is the one the fridge is on) and then flipping them all on and then squeezing back into the bathroom, and moving the chair back from the other side of the bathroom door to the other side of the door and then checking to make sure that all is fine.

So, all that to say, the fridge is fine and boy am i glad!  one reason i am immensely happy is because i've been making pots of tea, pouring them into pitchers filled with ice cubes, and placing them inside the fridge because damn, it's hot.  i usually drink most of my drinks at room temp.  but! here lately i've not only been drinking my minty mint tea cold, but! also with ice, which is so utterly unlike me that my guy is sure that i am becoming more normal and less eccentric.

like that's possible.

that's the price of snobbee-cell-phone use, biotch

While I was out running my errands today, I realized that I had not mailed an envelope that I had meant to weeks ago.  So I went in the post office to buy stamps and also to mail off that note.  There was a short line, which since there is always a line at the post office (it's a government mandate), I was just glad that it was short.  The rather impatient self-important snotty i-clearly-don't-deserve-to-wait-with-all-you-people-tsk well-dressed, coiffed, made-up, manicured woman snatched up her ringing cell phone and commenced to have a very loud conversation all the while eying the rest of the customers and the two employees with profound distaste.

In fact, when it was her turn, she held up her wait-a-minute finger to the employee and then quickly spat 'out a book of stamps' and placed a twenty dollar bill on the counter.  When she received her stamps, she fished in her bag (not a purse, it was definitely her very fashionable 'bag'), turned on her tidy little bony high-heel and strutted out.

The clerk did not raise her voice to call after her, but very conversationally said, "would you want your change then?"  No one else in the line called out to get the lil snott's attention either.  Cuz twelve dollars in change?  That's the price you pay for snobbee cell-phone usage.

Kenya say, "comeuppance"?

my fridge thawth out

SO the other day, after I made my tea, I went back to bed.  I wasn't feeling so good.  Nothing new, just one of those days when I feel off.  When I awoke, I stumbled to the kitchen to pour myself a cuppa ambition, yawn'n stretch'n try to come alive...oh, wait, that would be if I was workin' nine ta five.

I opened the fridge and noticed my light was out and thought, 'crap, another light bulb to replace' cuz in the past few weeks, I've replaced six light bulbs and I only have ten light bulb sockets in the first place.  Then I realize that there is a funky offal oder wafting outta my dark dank fridge.  And then I opened the freezer, and the ice block from the roof fell and shattered into lots of little ice shards, spraying onto the floor, melting into lil puddles instantaneously.

I had to toss ev.ry.thing in the fridge, tho managed to save some stuff in the freezer (tho I am thinking the meat ought to be tossed, rather than chancing it).  Ev.ree.thing.

The silver lining?  I've never seen my fridge look so nice and clean.  And I needed to defrost my freezer anyway.

Earlier today, I went to the store, spent $162-and-some-change out of the available $165 dollars I had left over after paying rent, electricity, garbage (ya know, those essentials; the phone bill will wait til next month.  sigh).  Leaving me with two bucks and some change, cuz damn can I budget or what?!?  Lots of fresh veggies, eggs, milk, etc.  yea!!  I'm a healthy girl!!

Lisa's Thank-You Afghan

 Well, what started out as a small but heartfelt gift for Lisa (my landlady) to thank her for all the extras (like feeding my dogs, on those times when I do go elsewhere, like up to Oxford to visit my guy in his habitat) quickly grew into a larger more intricate project as seen here.  It started a couple weeks ago as a lapghan and is now an afghan that will generously fit her king-sized bed with a good overlap as all serviceable covers should have.  There is nothing quite so irritating as a blanket that just barely fits over the top over the mattress, unable to adequately cover the sleeping contorted form of two persons.  Especially if you are like me, where you like to tuck in plenty of extra around your ears and shoulders and a few inches tucked under you as well, making you into a sort of burrito with hair sticking out the top, propped on a pillow, emitting strangling gurgles which some call 'snores' but which I call 'sound slumber'.

Lisa loves colors, nice and bright cheery colors.  Lots of them.  And so I was liberal with the sunny yellow, the lime green, the deep orange, the too purple, the hottest pink, and the electric blue.  She also like combinations of texture and patterns, so I used lots of extra little bobbles and faces and bows and spirals and poofy puffs along with slip, chain, single, double, half-double, and treble stitches in rows and rounds and rounds within rounds.  Terribly busy sounding, but quite visually pleasing I think.  It brings to mind a sort of tropical theme.

Entirely too loudly cheerful for me, but perfect for her!

aoljurlAdd, aoljurlAdd_1

hot makes me cranky

Yesterday, I heard a knock, so I went to the door and saw no one.  So I hollered, "hello?" and my landlord hollered back, "push the foam".  I immediately did as he asked, and pushed the foam.  Wouldn't you?

So yes, I now have a brand spankin' new air conditioner that seems to be working just fine, able to handle the fact that it is covering an open space of two rooms, the fact that it is in the kitchen, and the fact that there is poor insulation here in the trailer (what trailer does not have poor insulation, I ask of you).  I'm sitting pretty.  And cool.  And much more pleasant to be around.

yet another sign of the coming of the ending of days

While I was driving home from Memphis the other day after dropping my guy off to catch the train, I had plenty of time to think.  Since the air conditioning is not working properly in my vehicle since just after (oh thankewthankewthankew) the heat wave ended last fall, and since I've not had the extra cash on hand to get it fixed just yet; I've been driving with the windows down.  That creates extra drag, yes I know, but one way or the other I'd end up paying for cooling so extra drag equals extra gas for the time.

The thing about driving with the windows down is that I find it extremely challenging to listen to the radio (which is the only sound system in my car, well besides me.  oh! and the handful of gravel rattling around in the hubcab), esp if I'm stopping/starting and then getting up some speed on the hi-way and then stopping as I go thru PoDunkin'DoNuts, Mizz'ippi.  I can understand why the gansta wanna-be's next car over were scowling at me.  Cuz really, "We Built This City (on Rock and Rollllllllllllllll)" should never be played that loudly, esp at that time of night.  And then to have a puffy pudgy woman bellowing out the lyrics while driving a gramma car is just wrong.  But that's not the end of days sign, altho some would argue that it sure should be.

The other thing about driving with the windows down is that I get really grimy.  I mean there is this nasty combination of road grime, environmental pollens, sweat, tears, and bug blood that creates a rather disgustingly sticky film on my entire person.  I feel like I'm wearing a mixture of mud and honey as some sort of toxic facial mask.  Dudes, if I am gonna have that sensation, I'd rather be on a motorcycle.

So I turn off the radio, and just sorta buzz along with the rushing wind pulling the shorter fine little hair loose from my headband, where it gets stuck in the sweaty grimy facial film (which in itself is not so bad, but the thing is that the ends of the loose shorter fine little hair become trapped between my glasses and my eyeballs and since my eyeballs are wet and my glasses generally are not, the ends of that there loosened hair adhere to my eyes and that makes driving a real challenge as I pry the stuck hair off my temples and it reaffixes itself~~and my guy wonders why I sometime lose my shit and shave my head; but that's not the end of days sign).

No, no.  The sign of the coming of the end of days was placed in front of the rather large church just down the road from my guy's place.  Actually, it wasn't even the sign itself, but what it represents.  Cuz that church?  Usta be an all you can eat seafood buffet on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.  Then the metal building was renovated into a church.  Southern Style Baptist, we do prayin' right.

sillee me needs sleep

This past week has been very odd for me.  I've become a homebody to a great extent over the recent years.  Prior to that, I was quite different, hopping in my car and zipping a few hundred miles was something I did on a daily basis.  But now?  Well, now, hobbling to my car and making a round trip of several hundred miles...well, it wears me out.

This morning, I got up at the ungodly hour of 'ishouldstillbesleepingsweetlyanddreamingsweetdreams' and put pants on and drove to Memphis which is about two hundred miles from me in Starkville.  About twenty miles out from the blue suede city streets, I contemplated ducking into a shop to grab something but decided not to chance the caffeine that is still found in decaffeinated coffee (it's decaffeinated from the caffeinated state, but by no means caffeine-free), cuz the last few times I had decaf, I sprouted multiple arms and tentacles and scared myself, innocent children, and wild feral dogs.  Instead, I pushed on to the Amtrak station and parked to wait for my guy's return from the windy city of Chicago.

We then went to Brother Juniper's which has the very best breakfast evah in Memphis.  It was our first time there, and I loved it.  Tho perhaps I should not have had the potato-based breakfast dish.  Cuz about half way home, my neck could no longer support my head and my eyes were retreating into the deep dark cavernous area just under my brain.  I felt bad about my guy having to drive the rest of the way home, but it was either that, or we were gonna have to park amongst the rigs at the nearest gas station so I could give in to the undertow of the sucking slumberous state.

When we got home, I crawled outta those pants and into my jammies and snuggled my head into my guy's shoulder and wrapped my limbs around his and drooled ceaselessly while snoring solidly.  He sweetly waited until I was so deeply drowsed that he could rearrange my person in such a way that would allow him to breathe, swallow, and otherwise continue to survive my stranglehold of 'butiloveyousoverymuch' clutch.

My guy has since brought me a sandwich, showered, and driven back to Oxford for his appts tomorrow.  He's coming back to see me on Friday so I need to get as much beauty sleep as possible.  Cuz right now, I'm scaring myself, even without the sprouting of appendages.

I hope your week has been good and continues to be so!

hyperballic tawashi

  Earlier, I'd spoken of Lisa's Thank-You Afghan squares and also a tawashi in the form of a hyperbolic ball (or a hyperballic tawashi, as I've dubbed it).  The Lisa's Thank-You Afghan is very straightforward to understand.  You see, I don't leave home often, but when I do; I can't always take my dogs.  So Lisa, my landlady, feeds the furrbees.  So I wanted to do a Thank-You Afghan of bright colors for her, since she loves bright colors.  In the background, you can see a sample of some fifteen square inch granny squares that I've been completing so that I can soon piece it together and then give it to her.  The little ruffly pieces that are dotting a few, were my early attempts to do the hyperball; which as I pointed out, is not really meant to be a ball form, turned round and round but that it was to be turned as in flipped row by row.  I'll post pix of Lisa's Thank-You when I am thru.   Hope you've had a great weekend!  And a good week to come!

aoljurlAdd, aoljurlAdd_3

hyperba wha...?

I simply can't tell you the number of times I have asked myself, "self, is it not possible to 'isometrically embed the hyperbolic plane as a closed subset of the Euclidean 3-space?' well, isn't it?"  Only to chide myself, "for the sake of all that's sane, 'please give up pondering this as it will only lead to the destruction of my health, peace of mind, and happiness in life.'*  please, if not for your own sanity, think of your guy!"  And then,  I admit, I don't know what an isometrically embedded hyperbolic plane is, let alone as a closed subset of the Euclidean 3-space (whatever that is).  I've heard these phrases, but never uttered in any relevant way to my own silly self.

Until...

Yeah, so the other day, the amaZING miss monica sent me the very easy instructions for crocheting tawashi.  Tawashi is a lil Japanese scrubby used for dishes and/or body parts.  Ya know, sorta like those poofy body puffs that are all the rage with the advertising of shower gels and such?  Those things.

AmaZING miss monica said that they were easy to do and fast and might give me a lil break so I don't shove my crochet hook into my eye while working on Lisa's thank-you afghan and squares (more on that later, I wouldn't want to confuse the issue any further, huge eye roll here).  That way I can still be productive while taking a break.  And as we all know, I am all about productivity (nodding solemnly, tis true; ask any of my friends and if they say differently, well that's just cuz they're all liars, all of them).

Stick with me here, cuz I am gonna tie it all up into a very ruffly quirky flirtatious ball.  A hyperbolic ball to be exact.  Stay tuned, dear reader.

The pattern is something like this:
     Hyperbolic Ball
ch2.
6sc into 2nd ch from hook.
turn.
2sc into each stitch.
turn.
2sc into each stitch.
turn.
continue to "2sc into each stitch" and turning until you want to drive your crochet hook into your eye.  then, you are done and need to return to the project from which you are taking your break.  have fun!

Actually, it really is fun and once you figure out (like I did eventually) that the "turns" do not mean "join and continue into one big ole circle, turn, turn, turn" but that "turn" means "turn, like in crochet, reach the end of the row and turn, ya know, flip it.  yes d'uhm debra, turn=flip as in the conventional sense of crochet and not 'turn' as in round and round and round turn".  Please do keep in mind that amaZING in no way contributed to my extreme agitation with my stupidly sillee me.  I call her "amaZING" cuz she truly is and she did tell me to NEVER EVER JOIN THIS.  I hold her in no way responsible for my own ineptitude.

Yeah, so then, cuz I was thinking "turn=round" instead of "turn=flip", my hyperbolic ball was not quite right.  So I googled "hyperbolic ball" so that I could SEE what the hell it was spoda look like.  And then I hadda click on this link, cuz I just hadda.  I mean, I simply could not resist, and really, who among all you crochet'ers could?  None, I say, none!

Not with a title like this:  Crocheting the Hyperbolic Plane

I mean, dude!  It is a scholarly paper!  Published in a real peer-review top-tier journal!  With real PhDs as authors from a real mathematics department at a real university!  And a prestigious one at that:  Cornell!

So I clicked on the link.  And that's when I lost my remaining academic mind.  I've not actually read past paragraph three, subsection one...cuz I'm still tickled pink over the idea that someone actually was able to write and get peer-review approval and publish a paper using crochet to explain hyperbolic planes, a geometrical concept that is difficult for most mathematicians to fully understand.

I mean, I love it when folks fuse art and crafts with academics.  Brilliant!  Kudos to the author, Daina.  The girl has moxie!

*the actual quote is below, and I now have reconfirmation of why so many men are maddening, cuz of all that dwelling on sensual passion: 

For God's sake, please give it up. Fear it no less than the sensual passion, because it, too, may take up all your time and deprive you of your health, peace of mind and happiness in life.

 Wolfgang Bolyai urging his son János Bolyai to give up work on hyperbolic geometry.

...freezing? well, yes, but...

Well, Friday night, my guy missed his train.  It was a misunderstanding of parking proportions, and to make a looonger story a bit shorter, we decided to try it on Saturday night.  I drove him up to Memphis and then I drove to his place in Oxford, and am just now settling in home here in Starkville.  A four hundred mile round trip that will be repeated early Wed morning.

We enjoyed getting to spend some extra time together and it was a very nice venture altogether.  So, now that I am home, I will take a shower, after my air conditioner unfreezes.  again.  I may need to speak to my landlord because it just might be laboring too hard for the space it is to chill, and freezes too easily.  I've cleaned the filter (I'm good about that, and I dry it thoroughly before I fit it back in) so that is not the problem.  But, even tho it is warm (read "hotter than dog breath", but not as smelly ~~ thankfully, i might add), I am glad to be home.  For a couple days, anyway.

So, hope you all have had are continue to have a wonderful weekend!

Back it up

My guy is leaving on the night train from Memphis, bound for Chicago.  Sounds like a bit of a blues song or such.  I need the Pips to back me up on this. (he's leaving, {leaving} on the midnight train to georgia) and if they could so some cool synchronized dance steps that would be mahvelluminous.

Did anyone watch the season finale for American Idol Wed night?  If you did, you would have seen some great bits.  Diana Sommers, Bryan Adams, ZZ Top, Graham Nash, uhm I know I'm forgetting some others that were good (and by that I do NOT mean the Jonas Brothers, shudder, cringe).  But the funniest was Pitka (Mike Meyers) advising the Davids.  And next to that?  Gladys Knight holding auditions for the Pips...Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robt Downey, Jr.

ahhh, good stuff that.  good stuff.

So, my guy is Chicago bound (or as Robt Johnson said, "back to the land of california, to my sweet home chicago"; love the man, the music, the mood; but it speaks accurately of Mississippi's lack of educational standards, as then, as now) for the weekend and part of next week.  It's the ABA Conference, international...big BIG deal, and he is presenting.  So if any of you happen to be in Chicago and happen to have an undying interest in applied behavior analysis, and also happen to want to hear about the intervention of burnout amongst direct care staff...well, then you are indeed in luck!  Because all the stars have aligned and you yes you are in for a treat indeed!

However, if not, then no.  No you shan't be able to spend the time I cannot with my guy.  And that is a sad state of affairs.  Not that I wish my guy would have an affair.  Oh, no and far from it.  Just merely to say that it is a sad state of affairs that I shan't be spending my weekend with my guy.

sniffle.sniff.

Baby Steps to Classiness

I've fixed myself some lovely white tea with lemon and honey and iced it down and yum, s'wunnerfullest.  sigh.  so lovely.

Earlier today, I took a can of white clam sauce and poured it out into a skillet, and let it boil.  Then I added slowly four beaten eggs.  I kept stirring it and let it cook all nice and good and then I took it off the heat to cool (and also so I could use that burner cuz it is the only one of four which is actually somewhat useful, tho not exactly very well moderated) and cooked some pasta.  After I drained it, I added the clam and egg mixture and some basil pesto and omg!  It was so good I almost forewent the fork and just buried my face right in the bowl and snorted the stuff.  And I might have if it wasn't for my resolution that I would cease doing that.  Doc's are tired of removing peas and things from my nose and I have run out of creative explanations for just how those veggies go so far up my nostrils anyway.

Baby steps to classiness, I say.

finally, telling it like it is

Compliments of:  GraphJam

I really don't like when folks will use fillers.  It demonstrates their vacancy of thought.  Ya know, those things like:  IC.  How can you have a meaningful conversation if one person is inanely moronic as to not be able to generate an actual thought?

I also don't particularly like the liberal usage of greatly exaggerated responses such as:  lol.  Who actually does LOL as often as they use this?  There are a handful of times in the past few years that I've actually had the reaction of bursting forth with laughter at reading someone's message.  When I do actually burst forth with burbles of laughter, I almost always describe it accurately with snickers, snorts, chuckles, chortles, or whichever is appropriate.

And do people who type that in response to their own silly selves actually find their wit is really that inspiring that they actually laugh out loud?  To me, that's the equivalence of being able to tickle yourself.  It just doesn't happen that often.

I mean, there are times when I think, "wow, that was pretty damn witty of me" but rarely do I actually burst into laughter.  Laughter is something that I think happens in response to a joyous surprise.  On unforeseen comment or event that cracks me up is worth sharing in the hopes that others will also find it funny.  Predictable humor tends to get a smile, maybe a slight sound, from me.  I do appreciate it, yes, but I don't fall all over myself, rolling on the floor laughing my ass off.

And really, who does?

frustration

gotta request for ideas and suggestions.

i've been dealing with some extreme nausea, with light sensitivity, and lying down seems to make it worse.  i sometimes will be nauseous and slightly dizzy and usually am light sensitive anyway.  but this, this is more extreme and has resulted in vomiting.  any idears?  any at all?

"It's the shoes!" (from Bird Cage)

Right, so I somehow missed that it was bedtime last night.  I was listening to the end of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" which means that I thought around disc 12 that it was nearing the end.  Oh so not even close to being the case.  There are 23 discs and you'd think that simple math would not have allowed "mid-point" to escape my attention, but yup it did so I kept listening and kept crocheting and thought, oh one more....I'm not tired...one more.  Ya know, like a page-turner.  Only this was a disc flipper.

Next thing I know, the day is beginning, the damn birds were more cheerful than any critter is spoda be at that time of the morning.  Excepting I was.  Cuz I that's what happens when I stay up and miss sleep and get into the second wind of things.  My nerves sing.  So since I was jazzed, I finished the audio book.  And finished the text book ("The Clerk's Tale", a sort of spinoff of the canterbury tales, set in the mid-1500's with a crime solving nun...which is actually very realistic cuz the author is very historically accurate and doesn't tend to exaggerate stuff...I now know more than I ever thought I would about the various Offices and Nones and prayers and rules and things...and much more than I really felt I needed to know...but it was very essential to the story lines and this is the third book I've read in the series...and since I have attempted numerous times and failed miserably to actually read Chaucer's Canterbury Tales...dude, I get too bogged down in the language and the spellings and the archaicness...I find these contemporary to the present books with now language but contemporary to the then customs and all makes for a very good read, unlike this parenthetical paragraph that is so grammatically incorrect with poor syntax and sentence fragments.  thanks for reading, grin).  And finished more blocks of the thank-you afghan I'm making for my landlady who feeds my furrbees for me whilst I am gallivanting around the mountains of Kentucky.  And then I realized, dude, you skanky.  So I took a shower and felt zestfully clean altho it was ivory, which means I was 99.4% sure to be squeaky clean and pure.  On the outside.  Cuz I didn't wash my mouth out with soap.  Never been big on that there whole concept.  Excepting the time I was really out of it and scraped my toothbrush across the top of a bar of soap ONCE.  That was the same time when I mistook aspirin for breathmints and chewed up a whole handful to get the soap taste out of my mouth.  Yeah, I was a bit feverish and was insisting on having my shoes cuz I hafta pee!  and doesn't everyone need to lace up their sneakers to make the trek to the potty in the middle of the night?!?

I had a good session today.  Guess what we talked about?  and the recommendation was to uhm, get some sleep tonight.  And I will, right after I finish scrubbing the kitchen floor with my toothbrush.  and ivory.  while listening to the audio-books i picked up from the library today.

Now where are my shoes?

...wha...how...uhm....?

Dude!  Here it is, like over a week later and I'm trying to think what was I doing that has me thinking that I've not had a minute...and I can't think of any one thing.  Yes, I've been crocheting myself into knots.  Yes, I've been running errands.  Yes, I've made sure I've kept all my appts.  But, it's not like any of those things is so crucially occupying that I should feel so disoriented, like I do.

and i do.

i did go for a long walk (well, it seemed long cuz i have been almost as active as a slug) with my guy today.

i did get my eyes examined on friday (the rx?  same) whereupon the iDoc said that he thought i need bifocals but i'm not old enough.  funny that, cuz i would've thought that needing bifocals would be a function of necessity and not a dependent on the function of age.  sillee me, obviously.

i might would've asked him about that, but i was fighting with the dilation drop effects...mostly trying to walk without my face finding the floor.  or the walls.  or the .... damn, was that a doorframe, a metal door jamb?  why yes it was, and now my nose is a bit wider and flatter than it had been.

i also got a few oddly upsetting items from dept of edu.  what was oddly upsetting was the fact that i still get so upset about the whole thing.  i mean, yes, it would be upsetting, regardless.  but after all the crap they've done, you'd think i'd be past that sorta reaction.  ya know, the hyperventilating, lights strobing, sound waffling, jabbering reaction that includes tears and tremors and panicked emails and calls and sounding like kathy bates's character evelyn on fried green tomatoes when she is utterly bewildered by the senseless cruelty of strangers.

...bah...wha...whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

oh, yeah.  kathy bates has nothing on me.

Baby Boy Blanket

My guy's baby sister is having a baby boy, due at the end of June.  This will be her fourth child, all boys.  The oldest is nine, then 6, 2, and this one.  eeek!  This is a blanket made of seaspray, a greenish blue fluffiness very appropriate for a baby.  I just can't seem to get nice sharp clear pix with the webcam, so it is a bit fuzzier than the actual yarn is.  I started to make this last night at about nine and here it is eight in the morning, poof! done!

aoljurlAdd, aoljurlAdd_1

summary of last week

an excerpt of eMail which covers the last week:

my guy wasn't able to get to my place til about 7:30p fri so i drove us up to chattanooga and we got in around 1 (well 2, eastern time).  the wedding was wonderful saturday afternoon and we had a lovely drive up to hazard that evening, checking in around 8p saturday evening.  then sunday morning, my guy witnessed a disruptive dispute that was escalating in the hotel lobby, which he didn't tell me about until that evening (just as well, given what occurred later on sunday).  we drove east to the breaks interstate park and walked some trails and had a wonderful morning and early afternoon.  i made the remark that brenda got married and we (my guy and i) are on the honeymoon!

that sorta changed tho.  we pulled out of the one overlook parking lot, i was driving.  went around a curve and then there was a dodge ram extended cab truck with a customized paint job (metallic orange and silver with white) jacked up high, with an altered exhaust system that came right up on me, honking his horn and rev'ing his engine and tried to pass me on the twisty curvy steep road (think gatlinburg without the tourist).  at every fork in the road, he stuck right to me.  so finally when there was a stop sign, i got out and read off his front plate (kht-9398; virginia plates~~as russ may say, kentucky hick thugs, as a possible meaning for the plate, wink) to my guy and when i got back in, the truck honked long and a woman started to yell out to me to "come back here bitch".  it was about 5p on a sunday but we had seen the visitor center open earlier so i wasn't sure if they were still open (turns out they weren't) and that was the only place i could think to go.  so i went here, the truck pulled in and blocked me in, i saw another car in the lot and thought it might be the woman that worked at the center.  before i even got my door shut, the man got out of his truck and started toward me, yelling.  he was about 6'4" and huge, fat, big.  the woman threw her teenage son outta the truck (he was maybe 13 or 14) and hollered at her three younger childen in the back seat (extended cab) to shut the fuck up.  she got over to me and making a fist, walloped me in the left side of my head, drove my glasses into my face, got a hold of my hair and started yanking and screaming at me about having respect for her children (?!?).  later i found out that when my guy started to come toward me to be in between me and the man, the man stepped over in front of my guy and said something like, "you don't wanna piece of this" and flipped out a knife.  there were some folks that were driving by and slowed but the woman got off me and the cars passed.  she got back in the truck while the kids were screaming and crying, "stop it mama, please stop it!!  don't hurt her, mama!"  The man kept telling me to get in my car, and i said not until he left.  he said that he was gonna get his brother (the woman was using her cell, maybe texting) and they were gonna teach me a lesson cuz i didn't know who i was fucking with and on and on.  finally they left.  (the back of the truck, the rear window said, "TINY'S TOY").

i drove straight to the lodge where i was sure there'd be an office or at least a ranger.  i got one as he was getting into his truck and started to tell him.  he finally called for someone else who called the county sheriff who came with back up.  it turned out everyone except the sheriff knew exactly who it was.  the sheriff asked me to write it down and they chatted amongst themselves and to my guy while i wrote.  my guy pointed out that if they did this to us, they'd do it again to someone else.  the man just got out of prison and had been pulled over within the past week cuz he was throwing gravel with his jacked up truck wheels.  when i was thru, i told them all that i wanted to make the formal report cuz if he and his brother and friends were waiting for me when i left that i wanted a record so they (authorities) would know what happened.  i told sheriff yates to contact me if the woman did something else and they wanted to prosecute her for other things too.  in order for me to press charges, i'd have to find out exactly who she was and go to the magistrate etc.  i told them that i wouldn't continue all that but that i did want to make sure the authorities knew.  and my guy reiterated that if the folks would do that to us, then what would they do to others.  the park ranger people knew exactly who he was and they were very stern and said that they would make sure he did not enter the park again.  they asked us to come back.  the sheriff and his people said that they would go talk with him at his place.

monday we drove around and looked at apartments.  and all day this thing from sunday had left its mark.  then my guy told me about the hotel spat from sunday morning.  so we got to talking and he is gonna bring this up tomorrow when he meets with the guy at the internship site.  cuz it seems like violence is just under the surface around here lots.  i know that poverty can have an effect and wear on  folks.  but ya know, both of us were rattled and my guy is very upset with himself cuz he keeps saying that he shoulda been protecting me and that he should not have backed down from the guy and all that.  we stopped at applebee's tonight and after dinner, we talked with the manager about what the folks are like in her opinion.   she kept assuring us that we would love it, not to let these isolated incidents bother us but yes, folks here carry guns and most take the law into their own hands and yes, it is a volitile community but really we'd  love it and she always felt safe and never felt in danger.

thing is, this happened in a public park with families and children around the corner.  in broad daylight.  unprovoked.  so i didn't even predict it and see it coming.  how do you prepare for that sort of thing?!?

anyway, the area is beautiful and other than the violence element, we've been having a good time.  my guy met with his folks tuesday and afterwards, we drove to buckhorn lake resort and also saw a huge cathedral of logs, and the oldest building in the county (a log cabin way back on a single lane road that was not marked).  we had a wonderful trip and the drive was lovely.

we left wed.  stopped to see the cumberland falls and spent a few hours there.  it is one of two places in the entire world that a moonbow occurs.  it is like a rainbow, but starts with a bright white light at the base of the falls and continues thru the mist; only visible at the full moon with a clear sky (no cloud cover) and fairly dry air.  pix can be taken, but you must use a delay so that you can capture enough light and get the phenomenon on film.  we had lunch in a lodge right along the overlook onto the river.  it was wonderful as we were the only ones there, and there were tons of birds, and squirrels, and a few snakes and butterflies right outside the window.  it was amazing!

we got home to my place very late wed.  and yesterday, i did lots of errands.  a bit confused still, travel-logged!  love, debra

poppin' my head in for a moment

well, dudes, more later...i've just late last night gotten home from this past week's whirlwind of wedding, travel, and spats (lots of forthcoming details on those, cuz dude! not every day, or week, or month, or year, or decade does one get walloped along side the head (me) &/or threatened with a knife (my guy) oh yes, more details forth coming).

we are FINE.  no worries, k?

some pix, finally posted

Brenda's wedding is Saturday, this is for the bride and groom.  This queen sized granny square is one big granny square with all the Lion's Jiffy's heather blue available and then all the sante fe available and then all the caffe available and then all the grass green available from this area's WalMarts (yes, walmartS, I bought out several stores' worth).  I then added several rows when I finished making the rounds as large as I wanted the square to be.  The added rows to the top in grass green are where the pillows would be, cuz ya know mattresses are not square.  Then I edged the it, as the one shows more prominently.

In the foreground of the other, showing the granny square on my queen bed, there is a red rose done in filet. I scanned in a red heart done in filet.  I forgot to turn the it before I uploaded it.  I'm new to filet.

 I also made a variation of a wimple with a looser collar than usual.  It's for my mom who does not like anything too tight around the neck and doesn't like anything too heavy.  So it looks fuzzy but is actually very light and notice the drape?  It flows.  I am also making my mom a shawl in this same yarn, will post pix when thru.  Thought it would be a great mom's day gift for her.

In one of the wimple pix, I am holding a red heart on a white background done in a tapestry method.  I'm new to using tapestry stitch too!  The AmaZING Miss Monica sent me a surprise package including this adorable lil dress, it is a corner bookmark.

And there was this fabulous yellow cotton dishcloth with a butterfly in the center.  You can see front and back pictured here.  Thank you AmaZING Miss Monica!

aoljurlAdd, aoljurlAdd_8

some stuff

i've been really tired, going to bed early, napping during the day, sleeping late.  so i've not kept up with writing here these past few days.  my friend brenda's wedding is saturday in chattanooga, and i need to stockpile some sleep for that trip too!

i'll take and post pix of the gifts i made for her and her groom and her children.

one of my meds needed adjusting, so my heart palpitations should cease as i adjust to that.

my breastest doc aspirated three interconnected cysts that formed one mass.  he was pleased and satisfied that he managed to get an astonishing amount of fluid that indicated that damn they're bigger than he thought and wahoo they were silly lil lumps that were of no consequence medically speaking as far as cancer goes and when i asked what the medical reasoning was for aspirating them, he said that it was to check for cancer and infection and also to keep them drained so that they didn't burst and cause problems.  i was too foggy to ask what sort of problems and asked what the fluid is made up of, to which he stared at me and then muttered, 'well, bodily fluid' to which i was mildly irritated but didn't press the point for two reasons, 1.  i didn't see the point in expending more energy and 2. he didn't seem to know.

i'd gotten some lovely items in the mail from a lovely lady and will scan and post or take pix and post.  later, when i'm up to fiddling with the connections and things.  must nap now.

dude, it goes on and on and on and wha...? tis only noon?!?

So this morning, I went to see if my gp could take a gander at me and she immediately poked holes in my arm trying to find a vein that would bleed and fill her two tubes and such.  Then she instructed me to call her Monday and follow up next Friday.  She's concerned about some sorta skin reaction that could indicate a problem with one of my meds.  And then there's the heart palpitation thing that she is thinking means an adjustment in one of the other meds.

Then she called the Breasteses doc who said, "omg, send her right over".  So I went right over.  And he felt me up and said, "why, oh why didn't you come see me sooner?"  To which I replied, "well, ya know I'm a lumpy bumpy person with twelve lumps in my bumpilty breasts and so it wasn't til earlier this week this specific lump grew so large.  I came as soon as I could, I did".  To which the elderly gent tisked and felt me up some more with an extremely disturbed expression, muttering "don't like this, no, no i don't like this at all".  So what he thought was one massive lump of two inches by three actually is three lumps that are welded together into a rather awkward mass that he is actually looking forward to aspirating.  Oh lucky me, I get to go on Tuesday at the end of his day so that he has no rush after me and can poke, prod, and drain to his heart's content.  Fun!!  Doncha wish you were me?

Then I drove to the library with sticky boob lube adhering my bra to my breast in the most form fitting way ever.  After unloading and donating over 150 texts and other books to the library's monthly sale, I signed a release of liability which seemed a very odd thing to do when donating books to the Friends of the Library's First Monday sale.  None the less, I was glad to do it.   Where oh where is my cape?  And tights!

Next up, I drove to the garage, where Charlie looked very concerned and so next Wednesday I'm to take the car in for the day.  It would have been Tuesday, but counseling in the morning and the boob job in the afternoon, it's just such a fun filled day.  So, Wed it is!

By the time I got home, I was somewhat alarmed to realize it was not even noon and my date book for next week is full!!  I'm in such demand.  Whatta belle.

I can't wait for my guy to get here.  I really really really miss him.  Really.

Drrtee Grrl

Well, today was a good day, but very tiring.  So things will be brief I am sure.  I went to see my counselor today, and then went to WalMart, and then went by the coffee shop and crocheted with the yarn that I picked up from WalMart.  Our WalMart seems to be one of the last that has a fair amount of yarn.  So when I have a few extra dollars, I buy some Bernat Softee Chunky skeins cuz there are not quite two dollars per.  And I use them for all sorts of things.  I already bought them out in a few colors of that sort.  I don't think I've ever bought any yarn for more than that so I cannot bear to consider those skeins that are soooooooooooo expensive.  shudder.

So after I was thru at the coffee shop, I went to the library.   Then I came home and began to do some deep spring cleaning that I have been putting off.  I went thru ten shelves of books and sorted them into keepers (and then organized them) and give-to-the-library piles (those piles had to be sorted into paperback, hardback, audio, video).  And threw out four H.U.G.E garbage bags of piles and piles of papers, some of which I've had for a good ten years, most were about five years old.  I'm gritty, grimey, dusty, and sticky.  I'm not sure why I'm sticky except maybe I was sweating and some of the dust must of mixed to make a glue.  shudder.

Anyway, that's done and now I am left with stacks and stacks of books to donate and have no idea how I will get them from here to there, unless I do it in stages (a portion of one stack at a time to the car).  There are easily 150 stacked up waiting to G.O!!  Most are old text books, sociology, statistics, reading/writing.  There are a few fiction.  And a good stack of christian oriented books.

On the shelves are still rows of books, mostly sociology, almost as many statistical volumes and then a few on writing.  The rest of the cleaned shelves, I used for my crochet patterns' binders and the yarn.  Tons, tons, and tons of yarn...i'm so happy!!

I'm not thru yet, but my lungs are!  They are filled and irritated and burning with dust that made it thru my best efforts to keep the air clean.  So I need to get scrubbed and showered before climbing into bed.

Tomorrow I need to take the car back to the garage.  I think there may be some loose connection, or something.  Cuz some of my systems are flipping in and out, my engine seems fine.  But my turn signal and my radio and my fan would sometimes be ok and sometimes not.  So I called the garage to talk with them and so tomorrow I must return the car so that they can check and such since there may have been something jarred loose while they were working on it.  It isn't a blown fuse, cuz sometimes stuff works, and sometimes it doesn't!

Anyway, now that things are a bit more organized; I can actually see what projects are where.  And I can put things where things go with out needing to move things to get to other things.  So, hope to finish a few projects, esp since some need to be given to a bride and her family in about a week!

Well this has gotten to be rather more than I intended!  Now, I must go dig the potatoes out of my armpits and dump the sand from my shoes!  Grins, Debra

good yarn? worth the wait

ya'll know i've been getting knitty wit it...and happily hooking...and loomin large...and all those other things ya can do with hooks and needles and yarn and spools.  my friend's wedding is in about ten days and i've been frantically whipping stitches about.  in the mean time, i did get my car back today!  yea!  and i did get my box of yarn!

what grand yarn it is, cotton yarn, acrylic yarn, baby yarn, bold bright yarn, pastel yarn, jewel yarn, smooth yarn, silverlash yarn, oh my!

i'm finishing a few things for brenda's wedding.  and also am in the midst of making a shawl for my mother for her visit in may (perhaps it will be a mom's day gift).  and a few other things.  will take pix and post when i can.

and will write a better, witter yarn for ya later!

the mail, it's delivered

There is a package that was mailed to me on the tenth.  It finally got to me today.  I got a peach slip from the new postal lady, from a post office the next county over.  I finally tracked her down after calling there, here, and over there.  I talked with her supervisor and let him know that all she needs to do is honk the horn and I will come out to her and retrieve my package so that she doesn't even have to get out of her vehicle.  However, simply leaving a peach slip from the incorrect post office not even in this county is not a good idea and isn't effective.  I'm thrilled that the package is almost here (at least, it's accounted for) after more than ten days.

Next time, I'm gonna request that it is strapped to the back of a turtle with a snail for relief.  I might get it faster with better service.

the car, it goes vroom-vroom

Damn! but I might be able to finally spring my car from the shop tomorrow!  It's been in for the past ten days.  Makes me wanna cry.  First it went in with some damage.  Then they had to wait to order the parts.  Then the parts that came in weren't sufficient.  So they had to wait for the new parts before they could put the other parts in.  Well, ya know, cuz parts is parts.  shrug.  So the verdict is that tomorrow it should be done and I should get the car back!

oh happy day!

Tunisian Cotton Wash Mitt

Well, early in the wee hours of the morning, I posted a pic of a tunisian knitt stitch done with cotton in variegated yellow.  I experimented with various tunisian stitches; like front loop only from the front, front loop only from the back, front bar up to front loop, etc.  Also, I did some increases and decreases and shaping.  So, here is the end product:  contoured wash mitt!

aoljurlAdd, aoljurlAdd_1

why I'm blurry eyed (and so are you, wink)

My friend (Brenda) is wedding in about two weeks.  She and her groom will have a ceremony with Brenda's children included.  Katie, age eleven, will be the bride's maid.  James, age six, will be the best man.  It will be a family affair as Mark is marrying Brenda and pledging to care for her children as well.  Her children are welcoming Mark into their lives.

With this in mind, I've made items for all of them.  For the bride and groom, there is a queen sized granny square afghan.  I've no more yarn for that and have to wait til I can get more to finish it off.  It was featured a few weeks back, and I will take a better picture when it is complete.

For Brenda, I've made a lapghan for her legs, which get very cold when she is seated at the computer.  It is done with double-ended hook, so that one side is primarily brown with some yellow and the other is primarily yellow with some brown. I also made a small toy soldier bag for James.  I used several strands of two shades of sage green to give it a camo-like feel.  It was loomed on the green knifty knitter's round loom. For Katie, I loomed a larger overnight/weekend bag on the yellow round knifty knitter.  I used red heart's baby cloud in a seaspray with white draw-cord and reinforcement.

  In an unrelated project, I've started to make a good sized wash-cloth.  It is about fifteen inches wide, using a knit tunisian stitch with a metal crochet hook.  I'm using a yellow/white variegated cotton.  This is the same sort of yarn that I'd used for my mother's apron last fall.  I've no picture of that because I did not acquire the webcam til a few months ago and had already given the apron to my mother.

aoljurlAdd, aoljurlAdd_6

well, damn (sigh)

The tip of my nose is bright red.  But considering the alternatives, I'm pretty happy about that.  The reason it is red is because the tip of my nose is the very furtherest protrusion of my face.  My face connected with my deployed air-bag on Sunday.  I'm ok.  Really.  My lower face and upper throat were kinda numb for awhile afterwards, but no broken nose, no fractures, no bruises; cuz damn, I'm lucky.

So right now?  My car is currently at the garage where it may be fixed sometime this week and restored to drivable condition.  It's gonna be more than a pretty penny (well alright, a few hundred thousand of them lil lincoln's).  But what's money compared to health, let alone life, right?

At this point, my wallet hurts the most.

Bluuuu LOoommm You saw meeee standin thaaaaaiir

I know it's fuzzy, but it gives an idear at the very least...of the big blue granny square afghan I started last night.  I'm about quarter way done, to a queen size, baby!  I'm giving this to my friend who is wedding in a few weeks, and her love.   I've also been a looming fool, so that I can assemble the panels into a lapghan.  My friend's legs get very cold when she's at the computer.  So the lil lapghan is for her. Also the pink loom in the back is a serenity loom.  It is similar to an infinity board, but not the same.  It takes me some time to do that, but I'm new to it.  The purple loom in the foreground is one of my favorites!  It is sturdy and nicely spaced so I can even loom when I am having a bad body day.  Plus there are all sorts of wraps to yield all sorts of stitches.  Fun stuff that!

aoljurlAdd, aoljurlAdd_2

tomorrow is another day

I've been putting off doing a few things, that really do need to be done.   So perhaps tomorrow I will actually do them.  I've been feeling either really good, or very very anxious.  It's that blood boiling, nerve singing tightness that has me about ready to leap right outta my skin and run away.

But, that'd be gross.

Tunisian Variation

Cuz I am having all sorts of problems with my pix-taken skills, I scanned this in directly.  It is a variation of the tunisian stitch, using a double-ended crochet hook.  Both colors are worked at once, across the row, from different ends of the hook.  The result is that one side is predominantly the bright sunny yellow, while the other side is mostly the rich chocolaty brown.  Sorta calls to mind sunflowers, this color combo does, huh?

However, I really need to get moving along so right after I scanned this, I frog'd it and rewound the yarn so that I can try something else.  My friend is wedding next month and I am not having much luck with finding exactly the right thing to make.  I may end up buying her something and then giving her whatever it is that I make for her birthday.

Cuz that's in November

aoljurlAdd, aoljurlAdd_1

Putting it all together

Alrighty!  So hopefully you went to the sites listed in the previous entry and were able to watch the demo and see the superclear pix that were at those sites.  Now I will give you some idea how I wrap so that my foundation edge is smooth and firm, with no straggles.

Make your slip knot and secure it on the end peg.  The rectangular loom  is symmetrical, with two rows of pegs in a double-rake formation.  There are no conventional turning pegs on this loom (those would be a peg on either end in the space between the rows in the same direction of the vertical pegs).  On this loom, the end pegs are horizontally oriented, and protrude out instead of up, like the other pegs.

Here, I'm working from left to right, top to bottom (left top, left bottom, to right top, right bottom).  So with the slip knot on the left end peg, I've looped the yarn over the top left peg (in a counterclockwise direction).  After you get comfortable, you can find what works for you; some folks work right to left, bottom to top.  But for the purposes of this series of pictures and explanation, I'm working from left top to right bottom.

I've completed the counterclockwise loop around the upper left peg and brought the yarn down, between the left most peg and the one next to it on the right.  Next, I loop the yarn around the bottom left peg in a clockwise direction and draw the yarn up, and place it between the 2nd and 3rd pegs on the top.  Loop the yarn around the second top peg in a counterclockwise direction, and bring the yarn down between the 2nd and 3rd pegs on the bottom.

 Continue that wrapping process, to the end of your loom.  For the purposes of this explanation, I've pretended my loom was only five pegs wide.  So here, you can see that I've done the five top/bottom and now the yarn is on the outside of the fifth peg on the bottom.  This is my last peg of the first wrapped row.

Now, I draw the yarn up and back to the very first peg that I wrapped; here my very first peg is the upper left one.  Now you can loop the yarn around the first peg in a counterclockwise direction and draw the yarn down to the bottom and wrap that peg in a clockwise direction and so on.  You will be following the exact same path that you already have laid with the first layer.

This is what the foundation wrap will look like.  Now you are ready to continue with the knit-over (removal of the first layer of yarn up and over the pegs so that the second layer is alone on the peg, ready to be pushed down to the base of the pegs).  From there, you can wrap your pegs however you would like to yield whichever stitches you want!

Hopefully this has been much clearer.  However, if you still have questions, let me know!  Thanks for the interest!

aoljurlAdd, aoljurlAdd_10