...wha...how...uhm....?

Dude!  Here it is, like over a week later and I'm trying to think what was I doing that has me thinking that I've not had a minute...and I can't think of any one thing.  Yes, I've been crocheting myself into knots.  Yes, I've been running errands.  Yes, I've made sure I've kept all my appts.  But, it's not like any of those things is so crucially occupying that I should feel so disoriented, like I do.

and i do.

i did go for a long walk (well, it seemed long cuz i have been almost as active as a slug) with my guy today.

i did get my eyes examined on friday (the rx?  same) whereupon the iDoc said that he thought i need bifocals but i'm not old enough.  funny that, cuz i would've thought that needing bifocals would be a function of necessity and not a dependent on the function of age.  sillee me, obviously.

i might would've asked him about that, but i was fighting with the dilation drop effects...mostly trying to walk without my face finding the floor.  or the walls.  or the .... damn, was that a doorframe, a metal door jamb?  why yes it was, and now my nose is a bit wider and flatter than it had been.

i also got a few oddly upsetting items from dept of edu.  what was oddly upsetting was the fact that i still get so upset about the whole thing.  i mean, yes, it would be upsetting, regardless.  but after all the crap they've done, you'd think i'd be past that sorta reaction.  ya know, the hyperventilating, lights strobing, sound waffling, jabbering reaction that includes tears and tremors and panicked emails and calls and sounding like kathy bates's character evelyn on fried green tomatoes when she is utterly bewildered by the senseless cruelty of strangers.

...bah...wha...whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

oh, yeah.  kathy bates has nothing on me.