30 July 2009

it's a YARIS!!!

it looks larger than it is, cuz i'm actually standing a foot away when i took this pic. it's just so damn kah~YOU~tt! every time i am close to it, i wanna hug its plump lil chubbette of a dew~drop body.

i've been spending scads of time, squealing and waving my fists around my ears while grinning as widely as possible {and then some}.

jert's been loving my giddy giggles even more than usual.

he's soooooooo sweet ta me. sigh.

meet our new car.

a toyota yaris.

and it's zippitee zoom.

it's about 2/3rds the length of most cars on the road here, and could easily fit into the bed of the truck we just traded in.

dudes, i'm still in shock and awe.

to the carl hogan folks in columbus:

mark, you rock!! thanks for making this such a pleasant transaction and for being so cool and considerate while not pressuring us at all. muwahz'n'huggles

red, red rose

thanks, ron & thelma!!

29 July 2009

role reversal

jert's youngest's youngest was texting,

at age ten months;

while jert was modeling the baby's first year tux onesie.

28 July 2009

oh, of all the gall

i'm very accident prone, more so than usual. generally, as a person is under more stress than normal, they get more clumsy and do stupid stuff that ends up leaving scars. even if that stress is the best stress possible! and so i guess i qualify, as the wedding is looming larger and there's lots to be done.

but some of the stuff that's been going on with me, is not cuz i'm a klutzittee-klutz-klutz-kah!lutzz. like yesterday's events. or would that be this morning's? either way, it happened.

and jert was my hero, yet again.

i'd been feeling off yesterday, breaking into slick sweat, getting all squeamish, and dizzy and nauseous. my stomach was hurting, well, not my stomach but some thing just off to the right. it was like a raw/bruised feeling {sorta like getting kicked and punted up over the field goal of life}. yeah, i'm that much fun.

i did not want to chance eating anything for supper, cuz i felt all woozy. and then, i started burping extremely bitter sharp fumes. after brushing my teeth, gums, cheeks, and eyebrows seventeen times and opening another tube of toothpaste, i was not having any relief from the bitter skanky~ass breath. and seriously was considering dying.

no sleep makes me cranky, and i couldn't stand myself, so i woke jert to share in my misery. actually i woke him with, omg, gasp gasp gasp i think i gotta go to the hospital. this was just after i up~chucked everything i've eaten in the past month {flushing the toilet the entire time, so it didn't overflow with the contents of my entire digestive track}, brushing my teeth yet again, and stumbled back to bed.

long story, some shorter, the doc/nurses/lab techs all voted in favor of a gall bladder ultrasound to see if there are some stones or inflammation or something else that shouldn't be going on in there. so they gave me a shot {no problem except it hit my ticklish target and i ended up not just twitching, but giggling and jumping} and took some blood to make sure it wasn't a kidney infection {i KNEW it wasn't that}. the lab tech was almost in tears cuz she stuck me four times and wasn't able to get a flow to fill her tubes to test me for stuff for elimination. finally a different person ended up getting a good stick just an inch below my palm, in my wrist. she kept mumbling about this being a baaaaaaaaaaaad idea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. i suggested reslicing my scissor stab and letting that fill the vials, but they thought i was getting all wiggy and talking nonsense.

so, jert got maybe two~three hours sleep last night. when we got back from the hospital, it was fifteen minutes prior to his alarm going off, so he just started his day way early. the doc's office is closed for the time, so i'm not sure when we can do the ultrasound. but i feel way better. especially since i've finally had some sleep.

babe, i love ya, love ya, love ya.

26 July 2009

imma klutz, sigh, but ya already knew that...

this afternoon, we had jert's boss and his wife here for dinner. i'd made some salads, constant comment {orange tea with sweet spices}, and peach hintee. jert was grilling chicken and made a huge bowl of potato salad. we were really looking forward to our visit.

they brought flowers and wine, very sweet! i was in the kitchen slicing open the taped bag on the bouquet when i stabbed my own silly self with a rather heavy duty pair of kitchen shears. i knew this was no minor scratch when blood spurted { ssssssssssSPLATtted!} in a nice arch over the kitchen sink, but it wasn't til the gash slit open from the force of the water when i was rinsing it off that i realized, "uhm, stitches...?"

fortunately, jert's boss {and his wife} had been career air force medics so they fixed me right up, after applying so much pressure i think the muscles on the other side of my hand are bruised. picture a crushing handshake from your neighborhood's friendly giant. ok, now picture the giant not being so friendly. k, now picture him having a grudge cuz his baby sister is crushing on you. yeah, that's how much fun it was.

but the bleeding stopped and he had excellent bedside manner {first time he'd ever been in the house, and i get him alone in the bedroom within two minutes of his arrival~~~damn, am i smooth or what?}. jert said that he knew he could count on me to entertain while he finished up the chicken. yeah, i'm that much fun.

within just a few minutes, we all were back on track and enjoying our dinner and the wonderful company of each other. the wine was fruity, the food was good, the laughs were great. whatta great way to cap off the weekend!

24 July 2009

tats us

typing is a lil awkward at the moment, cuz my left wrist, the tender underside is a bit more sensitive than usual.

see why?

{huge ass grin}

jert and i had our wedding tat's done this evening!! things are a bit fuzzy in the pix, that was cuz i jitter a bit. i'll take a better, clearer pic in the future, but the batteries on the cam ran down. so you're stuck with this for the time being.

so you might can tell, i had my left wrist done, while jert had a similar tat done on his right wrist. it is combining the leaf formation {as seen in my profile/on my left column}, a rose in partial bud, our initials, and the date of the wedding. on my wrist, jert comes first and my initials come first on his wrist. of course the leaf formation is flipped accordingly.

thus far, these tats are the most expensive part of our wedding. and like the marriage, the'll last for the life-time. oh so well worth it. at any price.

22 July 2009

pip~pip, hooRAY

the end result is about four foot square, a soft cooshy cuddly afghan {using clusters of three double crochet, done in granny square formation} that is just perfect for a lil girl who will be five in september.

i hope she likes it!

this view is a quarter of the afghan

merging, merging, merging...get those households merging

earlier today, my dear friend helped me pack up some of my kitchen stuff from the farm and bring it over to jert's. i cannot really bring too much over, til i have a place to go with it; that way i won't be moving my bed, dresser, vanity, bookshelves, etc around from spot to spot while we work on the guest rooms and the study/office where all those things will eventually find a home. so we just stuck to kitchen stuffs.

and it took me the better part of a few hours to find homes for it all. now my bread bowl and board are here {yea!} and all my glass casserole/mixing bowls/cake/bread pans are tucked away {yea} and all my copper~bottom pots and my cast iron pans {yea} and my pottery mugs, bowls, and other dishes...yea!! plus most of my teas, my wine glasses, and my pampered chef gifts are mingled in with jert's kitchen stuff.

it feels strange to see my things in this environment. it's becoming my home, too. and wow, whatta good feeling that is!

{love ya, baby and thanks so much for being with me thru all this}

21 July 2009

no, no, she's MAH woman

well, it was bound to happen sometime or another {jert ascertains}; that i would attract a younger man's attention and take him up on it. {sigh}

this evening, jert's youngest's kids were with us for an unscheduled visit while she went to the ER {eeee, digging around in her foot, and still not getting the glass out...not fun, no way~~makes me cringe}. the lil'st is about ten months and his older brother is just past three years. i'd been holding the baby for most of the evening, while jert {who has way more energy than i do, what's up with that?!?} was keeping pace with the older boy. toward the end of their visit, the boy was holding onto me while the baby was straddling my other hip {gee, so sweet to be loved so well}; when jert says, "hey! what are you doing with my woman?!?" and the boy giggles and grabs me even tighter and says right back, "no, no she's mah woman!" All of us giggled, snickered, snorted, and chortled. even the tired~fussy baby couldn't resist the giggle-fest.

yeah, well, i take my loves where and when i can get them!

20 July 2009

another sharp dressed man

jert just got this suit from eBay and it is so smoooooooooooth, sigh. he won't be wearing that shirt for the wedding, of course, but my oh my. that's my honey!

we call this one:

"biker goin' to court"

every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed dude

jert's youngest's youngest is about ten months old now, just getting to that walking stage. his first birthday is in mid-september and as fitting for a lil star, jert's getting him a lil tux onesie. the lil guy will have his first year pic taken in it, too cute, right? i KNOW!! he'll be the best dressed baby at our wedding at the end of october!

just in case ya'll went into sugar~shock from my giddiness about the babes mentioned here of late, rest assured. i can still be a cranky bitch with dry wit. just not today.

walking before ya run

this morning, when jert's youngest brought her youngest over for a visit; the ten month old baby was staggering around like a lil drunk. he can take a few steps with no support, but prefers the faster method of scooting along quickly. so when he would stand up and take a step, he seemed to be trying to run and would get his feet all tangled up or tip dangerously one way or the other in an over/under~balanced fashion. i was chuckling but that set off lil mini~bombs, like tiny fireworks shooting into my brain and then bursting into a shower of multicolored shocks. so chuckling was not a good move this morning, making me stagger about like a drunk, over and underbalanced myself.

and dude, i've been walking for at least 35 yrs. so lil guy, don't feel too bad about the walking/running thing. you've got plenty of time to walk before ya run!

17 July 2009

joyuos rapture

it does my heart and soul good to see such happy bliss.

Lovely Lauren and Mary Jo

16 July 2009


a fair number of inquiries have come in regarding my current project, so i give you...pip's afghan, a work in progress! it's a basic granny square of various pastels with a shine twisted thru it; clusters of three double crochet stitches, with thirty four rounds thus far. i'm not exactly sure how large i'll go, but it probably will be as much as i can do prior to her birthday in september. she'll be five, but i think there is no sense in having a blanket that is not large enough to use for always. so, that's why i plan to just go and go and go.

CanTeach asks...

What is your favourite song and why?

I haven't a favorite song, there are so many great songs that fit various moods, and times, and attitudes; well I can't pick just one all time favorite. However, at this moment, I'm listening to Joe Cocker. He does some great covers and ballads and the like. His gritty husky voice stands the test of time, at the age of 65, he just played a blues fest and received rave reviews.

Also, one of his songs made it into our music list for the wedding. "You Can Leave Your Hat On" was written by Randy Newman, but it was Joe Cocker's version that made the song a hit. And it's his version that I love, Love, LOVE.

It's gonna be played during the garter removal. I am really looking forward to that. *blush* So at this moment, I'd say that "You Can Leave Your Hat On", as sung by Joe Cocker is my favorite.

CanTeach asks...

What is the meaning of "He laughs best who laughs last"?

I've never really liked that statement, cuz it seems to imply that the one who laughs best/last, is doing so at another's expense. Like it had been a battle of wills, or insults, or tricks, or what not. That doesn't seem to be in keeping with the common edict of harm none, the golden rule, karma, etc.

Having said all that, I am guilty of laughing at inappropriate times, places, and such. Usually it isn't at anyone else's expense tho. But sometimes, it has been. I'm not too proud of myself at those moments. At the very least, I'm honest.

15 July 2009

CanTeach asks...

What is your most indispensable possession and why?

Well, I love my yarn and looms and hooks and things, but they are not indispensable. I love my teas, and my books, and my custom-made red cedar bookshelves, and none of those things are indispensable. I must have my meds, me without them is not pretty and they are oh so essential.

However, when it comes to possessions, I'd most likely view my laptop as the absolute indispensable possession of mine. I use it for lots of things, writing/typing, research, blogging, idle curiosity, communication, cataloging, and oh so much more. It calms me when I'm feeling frazzled, and lets me express my giddiness if that matches my state of mind.

My gateway, 'tis my friend.

14 July 2009

sake, soup, & sushi!!

earlier today, after scraping out the bird's nest in my mail box, i did a quick flip-thru and chucked a fair amount of junk mail into the trash cans placed oh so conveniently. and then i did a double-take. whoooOOOAH there nelly, what's that? could it be? why, yes! i do believe so! but then i got all worried that i was getting all excited about nothing cuz them gov'mnt folks can be all tricksee that way. so i went back to my counselor's office and asked her to read the letter, cuz it was one of those check my realities against your reality to make sure that i'm not misreading this whole wahoo-omigawdAH-izzitru?!?

and yes! it was more than likely one of the best letters ever received and dudes, i've gotten lots of lovely letters. but this one?!? this one is precious. like 100K precious.

so jert and i decided to go celebrate at the local japanese steakhouse. UMI has moved to their new location, and wow, i am impressed. lovely large space, well defined areas that are habachi, sushi bar, and dining table/booth. great wait staff. good service. and fantastic food.

we had two types of sushi {which actually refers to the rice used~~vinegar rice, rather than the misconceived 'raw fish' idear}, some yaki udon {fat noodles in a veggie broth}, and some house sake, served warm. soooooooooooooo good. yum! then i had a sweet ending with mochi green tea ice cream.

mochi is pulverized sticky rice. then the ice cream balls are rolled in the mochi. the mochi and ice cream on the outer layer mixes to form a slightly chewing gel that encases the rest of the ice cream scoop. it was so good, i got happy in my pants!

12 July 2009

charmin' lil man

i've not been on the computer these last coupla days cuz i set the crib up in here and this is one squeakee-ass chair! besides, i wouldn't've really had much time to jump online, or do any writing, cuz jert's lil'st grandbaby was here and he's just such a charmin' lil man that it was hard to tear myself away. i don't usually post pix of children, so no luck for ya. just deal.

jert has much more experience than i do, but even taking that into account, i've come to the conclusion that the mix of my uncoordinated klutziness and a baby's tendency to be a bit mess make for a disasterous feeding frenzy {stewed prunes gave his lips a rather dark garish goth look that was actually kinda cool}. it would've been easier on both of us if i'da just stripped him down to his diaper and fed him sitting in the sink {him, not me; tho that would have been a sight, i'm sure} and then sprayed him down with the lil retractable hose {alas, we do not have one on the kitchen sink...yet}. i did love that he was fine with me poking the spoon of sweet potato mush into his lil gaping mouth and spilling a great deal of it down his onesie, ya know, before i even got the spoon to the destination {that was all on me, and not a bit to do with the fact that he's a baby}. good thing he came with a good portion of his wardrobe.

i'm not familiar with all the mile-markers for babies, or what they generally do by what age. but i can say that i was very impressed that the lil guy slept for twelve hours straight. he's an easy baby, fer sure.

he tolerated {rather graciously, actually} my ineptly toting him around walmart. i kept running into the bathroom and using an amazing amount of damp paper towels, sponging spit-up off him and his clothes and apolozing to him for not being better at this and being somewhat prepared. i told jert that i was afraid i was squeezing the contents of his lil tummy right outta him and onto everything in a twelve foot radius. yeah, those folks at walmartZ are just lovin' me right about now.

thing about spit-up is that his body-tempature is compatible with mine, which means that it usually doesn't register immediately that he spit up...ya know, until the chunky dribbles and drabs run down my arm and off my elbow, dripping to the floor. yeah, i'm that much fun. so if you were in walmartZ this weekend, and saw a woman with a baby squished onto her hip/shoulder/chest, kneeling on the floor, wiping up stuff while muttering apologies to the baby, passing customers, and associates...that'd be me.

nice to me'cha!

10 July 2009

Following the Pi'd Piper

Tomorrow Mary Jo and Lauren wed!! Earlier this year, Jert and I thought we might be able to get up to PA and be there for the ceremony and the celebration. But too many things were planned and have still to happen, including our own Party this fall. I know ya understand, and we're with you in spirit!

Cuz I'm a cheap-ass bastard, I can only afford the free images posted here, rather than selecting and sending the lovely couple these actual items. Above you see some intricate hookah pipes and stogie holders. And to your left, is an elegant sake set.

I know that Mary Jo and Lauren have been preparing intensely for this, having moved into a new home and all. So I don't think either of them will be doing much online for awhile, esp as they need to rest and recuperate. When ya get around to it, ladies, we'll be here!

Lauren will be gearing up for several shows they will be attending this fall, showcasing her glassbeads and other creations. Mary Jo will be helping her with as much as she can. I'm sure it will be a great experience for all involved!

Can't wait for the pix, guys!!
huggles, grins, best of the warmest wishes ever!

sharing the tunes

my jert sent me the lyrics for nazareth's "i want to do everything for you" and i took the time on dial-up to download it from YouTube so that i could listen to it. yeah, that's my baby. thank you so very much for loving me.


I Want To Do Everything For You

I want to hold you in my arms 'til you say "turn me loose"
I want to do little things to you 'til you say "It ain't no use"
I want to wake you every morning with a good morning kiss
I want to kiss you to sleep the same way cause I, I know you like this
I want to do everything for you
Cause that's all that a man can do
When he loves a woman like I love you
And I love ya, love ya, love ya

I want to say sweet things to you 'til you say "I've said enough"
I want to stand right by your side when the goin' gets tough
I want to mend your broken heart 'til you say "the hurt is gone"
I want to stay with you always so that you won't be alone
I want to do everything for you
Cause that's all that a man can do
When he loves a woman like I love you
And I love ya, love ya, love ya

I want to work for you every day 'til you say "come home and rest"
I want to buy you pretty little things so you can look your best
I want to take you every where so the world can see what I got
I want to treat you with tender love 'til you say I've got to stop
I want to do everything for you
'Cause that's all that a man can do
When he loves a woman like I love you
And I love ya, love ya, love ya

I want to do everything for you
Cause that's all that a man can do
When he loves a woman like I love you
And I love ya, love ya, love ya, love ya

house guest

This weekend, we get to have a lil guest with us! Jert is bringing home his youngest grandson {he's six months old} tonight and he's gonna spend a coupla days with us! He's a charmer, everyone at his daycare just loves to be with him and his impish smiles.

I know I'm biased, but how can I not be?!? I don't post pictures and limit the actual names I use, so ya're gonna hafta just take my word for it: this babe's a cutie! and sweet as can be.

And growing way too fast. sigh. I'm enjoying every moment I can around him, cuz he won't be little for long. Next thing ya know, he'll be walking and talking and then driving {shudder}.

CanTeach asks...

What is something you are pessimistic about?

There are some things I'm pessimistic about, I'm sure. But right off hand, I can't really think of them. I read the wiki entry on pessimism, optimistic that it would prompt me into thinking of something that I'd be all like, "whoa, that's it {snap}". The one thing that stood out to me was the notion of self-fulfilling prophecy. I think that's the main reason why I tend to catch myself thinking and scolding myself for thinking of things that might be pessimistic.

I tend to get anxious about stuff that most people don't even think about. And I am easy going about lots of stuff that tend to throw others off balance. Sometimes I get pessimistic about my own perceptions of reality.

When I start to doubt my self, and my own perceptions, I get wobbly and worried. I start to think that maybe I have this all wrong and I am too pollyanna or blithely naive. And then I start worrying about worrying and before ya know it, I'm in knots. And then I worry that I might be toxic to others and so I sorta withdrawal as much as I can til I get things figured out. Sorta like taking my own self outta the game til I can get my head on straight.

Sometimes, I despair that I'll ever get the whole moderation thing down pat. I mean, I know in my head and believe in my heart (most times) that I'm in the moderate and safe zone. But when I start having those anxious doubts and all, well I start to worry that I might be going to extremes to protect myself and others from myself. Like those extremes suddenly seem safer and more desirable than the middle ground.

Most folks who know me, reassure me that I'm fine and that there isn't any reason for me to feel all knotted up and worried that I might be toxic to others. Some folks know that that actually makes me feel worse, cuz then I worry that they aren't seeing what I am seeing at that time. So those folks just let me work thru my anxiety and panic, and stay handy and close and reassuring without being patronizing and invalidating.

It's can be tricksee, walking the fine line of balance and moderation. I tend to do a great deal of self-moderation and checking with others to make sure that I'm not extremely off in my perceptions of reality. So I usually catch myself before I go to the extreme of becoming pessimistic, preferring to be overly optimistic if I must go to one pole or the other.

So, I'd say that one thing I'm unrealistically pessimistic about is my existing in the moderate range rather than tipping and zipping too far to one extreme or the other.

CanTeach asks...

What is something you are optimistic about?

Generally, I'm pretty optimistic and positive about most things. Ya know, except those things that I'm not. Ya know how that works, I'm sure.

I tend to give most folks the benefit of doubt. So sometimes I get burnt. That's ok, most times, cuz I'd rather be optimistic than a doom-whiner {that's a doom-sayer with a sniveling habit}.

But something in particular that I'm optimistic about is my relationship with my Jert. He's great and he really loves me just as I am, encourages me to continue to be so, and tolerates all my flub-ups. Our relationship is good and solid already, and I think it will continue to deepen and strengthen with the passage of time and shared experiences. I definitely see us together for the long-hull, for life.

I'm sure we'll have some moments of dissention, times when I get cranky and snarky; but I think we are able to get thru those and move on with little to no damage. He's an amazing person, an awesome man, and so very patient with me when I get all snippity. I love him for more reasons than those, but those are essential when it comes to relationships.

Yup, I'm optimistic and positive when it comes to this here crazy thing called love. {muWAHHz to you, my baby}

09 July 2009

CanTeach asks...

What is the best way to treat meddlesome people?

Usually ignoring them and their ways is rather effective, cuz they tend to give up if they can't get some sort of reaction from you. Barring that, sometimes ya just gotta put them in their place; which is out of yours. Short, sweet, and to the point. {dusting hands and moving on}

CanTeach asks...

What is your idea of a dull evening?

Well, I'm never bored. There are always ways to entertain myself, and I've not had a dull uninteresting evening in uhm for~never. Even when I'm feeling off, and rather dull myself, I enjoy settling in and having some quiet time; reading, or even staring at the TV if reading is too much of a challenge. I tend to read, or at the very least think, and amuse myself even when my environment is not so stimulating; like a doctor's waiting room, or at the garage, or some such place where people tend to get bored and antsy and find things terribly dull.

So nothing comes to mind when I think of a dull evening. How's that for a loaded statement? winks.

08 July 2009

seriously?!? {shaking head}

In the close to five years I've been blogging, I've only had two less than intensely friendly comments prior to a few months ago when I gained an audience of a reader who obviously loves to find fault {in an attempt to make others just as miserable} and yet for some sick reason cannot not read my blog {waving frantically at "anonymous"}. huh, go figure.

The other two comments were: one, a spamster~bot that provided material for a rather humorous entry that actually led to my gaining a group of wonderful readers/thinkers and co-conspiring bloggairs, among them my furrbees' fairygodparents. Sadly, Walt is no longer with us, and his wife, Bonny foresakes computers~~that was Walt's domain, and his death left quite a few of us bereft of one of the best friends anyone can ask for.

The other snippity comment was left by a young girl who was at the time an undergraduate at Ole Miss who took issue with an entry I'd written about my uncle's habit of indulging while wrapping Christmas presents {see Don't Be a Drunken Wrapper}. I figured she had some personal complication with those who imbibe to excess, which is her right. She actually sent me an eMail afterwards, explaining her viewpoint and that was that. I didn't delete or amend the entry and having failed to elicit a more dramatic response, she shuffled off to whatever fertile ground her drama may take seed. bah'bye, okey dokey then.

I've never deleted a comment. This is for several reasons, one of which is that folks are entitled to their own opinions and I don't really get all that torqued when folks don't agree with mine. Also, I've never had reason to do so. I realize that having stated this, it may be a challenge for "anonymous" to see if s/he can prompt me to actually delete her/his comment(s). Whatever fulfills your life's mission.

When "anonymous" first left a comment a few months back, it wasn't even more than a blip in my day, let alone any other substantial amount of time or thought. So you might imagine my surprise at how upset Jert was when he picked me up that evening. He'd said that he thought it was cowardly and rude and he was fairly sure who had left the comment in question form. I shrugged it off and tried to soothe him by letting him know that it reflects more on their attitude and nature than anything about me, so I'm not troubled by their inanity.

Then it was confirmed, the identity of that particular person who left that particular "anonymous" comment {the first I'd ever received}. Now, I'm not positive, altho Jert seems to be; but it's a strong likelihood that the following "anonymous" comments are left by the same person. Ho-hum. Jert has reacted pretty strongly several times, and each time he does, I've pointed out that such childish behaviour is not worth his devoted so much as a second of thought.

So why am I writing an entire entry on the subject of "anonymous" commenting? For shits and giggles. And for the same reason that I sometimes razz loved ones: cuz I can. And also cuz the frequency and content of the comments "anonymous" leaves provide a good number of chuckles on a regular basis.

If you'd like, take a browse thru the comments sometime {you might even search the last few months entries for "anonymous"}, and I'm sure you'll agree...stupidity can be chuckalicious. And indignant sputtering in the ruse of offended sensibilities is a joke in itself. Enough rope to hang yourself is especially strong and durable when you create it yourself and have no one else to blame.

Oh, and this one time, I'll address "anonymous" directly. In answer to your misinformed notion that "Bees can only sting once. "; you sad silly girl you, bumblebees do not have barbed stingers, so they retain their stinger so that they can sting repeatedly. Most other bee types, who do have barbed stingers, do sting once {yea, kudos to you!! good job}; their stingers snap off their bodies, thus killing them, while the stinger remains imbedded in whatever they stung. You might not have been able to deduce that it was a bumblebee that I wrote of, even tho the description might have led you to do so {"fuzzy black and yellow banded bee" and the fact that it stung multiple times}.

Please do try harder to think before you speak, lest you demonstrate and confirm your own foolishness.

CanTeach asks...

What is your favourite time of day?

It all depends. For years, I lived on the farm and spent the majority of my time alone. I preferred evenings and nights for the most part. That was in part because even with my air conditioner on high/high and the space limited {curtain sheet closed off all but the living space}, it was still rather warm and humid in the day time. I'd feel drained and by the time things cooled off, it'd be about 10 pm and I'd finally start to come alive. So I'd be more productive at night.

During the winter, night time was the time I'd cuddle up, snuggly warm under the blankets with the gas heater on and it'd feel cozy and safe. That's the time I'd relax the most, and feel the most secure. Shaddow would keep me company and she'd often climb up on the bed and sprawl across the open space, with her head at the foot; her breathing deep and soothing.

Now, I'm not sure what I'd say my favorite part of day is. I don't have any part that I dread, so that's good. I do enjoy the afternoons, cuz I'm able to function more easily than earlier in the day; not nearly as groggy or fuzzy. I can think better in the afternoons.

But I really enjoy the evenings with Jert. Sometimes we chat with each other, sometimes we settle down to watch something he tivo'd, and sometimes we watch a movie on the dvd/vcr. There are sometimes he reads and I crochet. There are times too in which we are doing our own things, like me being on the computer, and him watching something I don't really follow {like "deadliest catch"}. We're comfortable in the same space without needing to focus on each other constantly; I like that lots.

He usually heads to bed before I do. Sometimes I tinker about on-line {late night blogging}, rediscovering earlier loves {sudoku rocks!}, or eMailing friends rather than just popping off quick lil IM's. There are times when I will read in bed, usually stopping to watch him sleep, quietly and restfully {he's just sooOOOoooo cute~~quit your gagging, be nice now}.

So it really depends on my mood, on the weather, and what else is going on with me, with jert, with us as a couple. I'm pretty much happy that there isn't really any part of the day that I dread right now. These last few weeks (quickly turning into months now), I've not been sleeping really well, so I'm trying to take advantage of the time I might otherwise be unaware.

No definitive answer, just like a dame, eh?

07 July 2009


this blog regarding the weekend will sorta seem backassward and that's just the way i am, doncha know. this morning, i slathered on the one inch thick layer of sunblock (no screen for me, thanks, just the full on block~~hhhhuuuWAH!), climbed on the bike behind jert, and waved g'bye to my folks. that's right, withOUT a helmet!

friday, we discovered that arkansas has no helmet law, and wow, we took full advantage of that there kick-ass factoid. wahootie-hoot! five hours of toussled hair rioting in all the free glory of rushing air whipping along at highway speeds, dashing around cool curves, and plunging down the foothills of the ouchitas (well that part wasn't five hours, cuz the entire mountain chain isn't five hours worth of driving, but it's all part of the package, a package deal, ya might say, yeah, a package deal, that there's the ticket).

so about two hours into the whole air-rushing-by freedom fest, an intensely paralyzing pain ripples across my lower stomach. as the sting spreads and deepens, i think, "holy mother of god, that there is a godawful bitching itch" as i unsuccessfully claw my self. in an attempt to stem the sensation, i grope myself in the worst imitation of michael jackson {squeals thrown in for the special tribute} and assure myself that whatever had been responsible for the hellish piercing pain was no longer present.

only to discover a mere five minutes later that the beast has taken up another residence, still on my person. so i pinch the offending critter thru my shirt and ask jert to 'omg pull over, would ya just pull over before i hurl myself from this speeding demon trap?!?'. whereupon i show him a fuzzy black and yellow banded bee, that i'd managed to kill without squashing his guts all over the inside of my shirt, thus saving my skin from that particular brand of punishment {the layers of sunblock and road grime, dust, and truck grit all mixed to give me that permanent pancake appearance of bad stage makeup, or really awesomely horrid whiteface~~twas a close call}. the bee had bumbled about, in my pants, stinging me multiple times {i wonder if those stings are orgasmic experiences for the bee, shuddup, you don't know}. i hoisted my tank top up, bending my neck, trying to look at my ribs for any other sting sites.

yesterday, i had ants in my pants. and i can only surmise that the bee was not in my bonnet as i was not wearing one. entirely too many critters are having fun in my pants to suit me. so if you see a woman screaming at her nether regions, commanding all to vacate the premises; that there'd be me.

nice to mee'cha.

02 July 2009

CanTeach asks...

What is the worst thing parents can do to their children?

Not to encourage them to individuate. Altho that is an act of omission, so let me phrase it in an act of commission. The worst thing a parent can do to her child is to instill the overwhelming fear of all things which might lead to the child becoming his/her own person that doesn't blindly copy the parent's attitude/behavior.

I've used "her child" because I think mothers tend to be more smothering then fathers do {fathers tend to be more absent} in their presence~~look at the stats of single parents and you'll see the majority of them are mothers. I do think sons often end up pressured to be what the parents see them as being, such as football players. But I think lots of times the parent that lives vicariously thru their children are the mothers, wanting the daughters to be either lil copies of themselves, or what they never got to be {pink frilly ballerinas, for example}. That's not to say that no son wants to be a football player of their own accord; or that there are no daughters that truly wish to be ballerinas~~far from it, there are lots of boys who are football players cuz they want to be and girls who dance the stage of their own accord.

Children often times want to please their parents and so will choose to do the thing that they think the parents may wish; so that the child might make the parents pleased. Many times children equate pleased with love; thinking, "i made mommy happy, so i must have done this right, and now she is all sparkly and hugging me; she really loves me." Of course, since this is all usually not something the child nor the parent consciously thinks thru; the parent might not realize that the child is acting in a manner they perceive the parent approving of. And most parents really do want their children to be happy and to do what the child wants. However, when the child chooses to do something similar to what the parent's wishes are, the parent usually is pleased with that. Human nature, doncha know.

But often children don't discover their own needs, wants, desires, preferences, etc. They don't fully develop their own opinions, dislikes, loves, and the like . And in those cases in which the child does become his/her own person, it's usually late in the game, and thru much pain to the child and the parent {as the child feels they must rebel against the parents' wishes}. Adult children often have no idea who they really are, separate from their parents; til they create a physical distance where they are not under the immediate influence {outta sight, outta mind~there's a grain of truth to these adages and how they came to be}. OR are strong enough to brave what they conceive as a major divergent choice from what they think would please mommy/daddy.

A few days ago, I wrote about my weakness regarding establishing and maintaining boundaries. I always did want to please my folks, esp my mom. To make her happy made me happy. My mom is not knowingly cruel, attempting to bend my will to suit her own purposes. Most parents are not.

However my mom is a very strong person, and sometimes that can seem overwhelming, especially to a child whose perceptions may be off; seeing disapproval where there is none. I was very much a child who lived in extremes, either it was this way or that way; i was my worst enemy in that i did not allow my own self grays, tints, shades, or any other color besides the dichotomies of black/white.

It was hard for me to develop my own viewpoints, opinions, preferences, desires, needs, opinions. The thing about seeing everyone else's point of view is that you usually don't develop your own, cuz you're so busy with all those other perceptions. So establishing and maintaining boundaries has always been tricky for me. Living in the moderate middle zone is something I've worked hard to do, rather than bashing my head in like Dobby in guilt over some miniscule deviation of my behavior from what I think my folks would have wanted me to choose.

I think that adult children who don't individuate from their parents before their parent's death probably have a much more difficult time with this. Cuz they can't talk things over with that parent who is no longer there in a tangible fashion. So most any thing that the child perceives as a departure from that parent's wishes becomes a very difficult, overwhelming, fearful act.

A dear childhood friend declared engineering as her undergraduate degree because her father was an engineer and so was his dad {if it's good enough for my father and me, then it's good enough for my daughter}. She really wasn't fond of her major, didn't really like her studies; and she really wanted to be a marine biologist {nothing to sneeze at}. Her sophomore year of college, she was just working up to letting her father know that she was gonna change her major when her dad died unexpectedly, suddenly. Her resolve to do what she wished vanished.

She felt that choosing to do something different than her dad's wishes was somehow dishonoring his memory. In that case, knowing her dad as I did, she was probably right; her father would not have supported her decision to go for her own dreams, to develop her own tastes, to act on her own. It took her a long time to understand, to know, to believe that she can be her own person and that it is not being disrespectful to her dad.

For myself, my mom is still alive. And yes, sometimes I really do want to please her. But I think that most of my decisions and choices and actions are based on my own thought processes, my own preferences, my own knowledge of my own self.

And my mom supports that just cuz I do something different from her, even opposing her wishes, that doesn't mean I love her any less. And ya know what? She loves me anyway, even if I disappoint her, even if I do something she doesn't understand, even if I go my own way. She loves me always, in all ways. Cuz that's my mom.

And I am her daughter.

01 July 2009

CanTeach asks...

What is a good neighbour?

Well, I've moved lots of times, had lots of neighbors over the years. Some lived right up close, upstairs or down, and some lived over the fields and thru the woods. I've'd good neighbors, nosy neighbors, skanky neighbors, charming neighbors, neighbors who kept to themselves and out of my business, and neighbors who were so helpful that they gave new dimension to good neighbors.

I do appreciate friendliness, yes, and also enjoy some ability of my neighbors to maintain good boundaries so that they aren't interferring with others. The best neighbors I've ever had has to be my landlords on the farm. The worst neighbors I've ever had were drug-crazed skanks who'd lived below my efficiency in Georgia. I'd seen the cops show up too many times, and in Georgia the law is that if cops are called in for a domestic dispute, somebody is going to jail. With this couple, they both would end up screaming obscenities and demands at the cops; cuz even tho they were beating the shit out of each other prior to the cops' visit, they vehemently defended each other once the cops got involved. Sorta like, I can pick on my siblings but don't you call them names. Does the heart good to see such solidarity. Actually, the only time I'd called the cops was actually for them. Some crack-head friend of theirs broke in to help themselves to some money or some stuff to pawn in hopes of obtaining their next hit and my downstairs neighbors came upstairs, asking me to call the cops cuz part of their back door was missing and the front door had a big ole hole in it. They and the cops asked if I'd heard any noises and I have to say, nothing that was any different than usual. Everyone nodded at that. Hard to argue with previous track records, ya know?

My landlords on the farm were my closest neighbors. Altho technically, his parents had the most neighborly address; as their two mile long driveway came out next to my place. My landlords lived a scant half mile from me, living in the Big House with a few rentals scattered across their five hundred acres. They and their children are really nice people. They don't interfere with me or my affairs, but are helpful in ways that most people don't think about being, with either their neighbors, their tenants, or their landlords. Over the years, I've baked them yeast breads, short breads, cookies, cakes, and the like. They've helped me out numerous ways when asked, like the time she came to the jail {with her homeschooled children, field trip!} to bail me out. Or the time she carted me up the hospital. Or the time she cinched up my corset, cuz really, have you ever tried to do up your own corset while wearing it? yeah, tricksee lil buggers, aren't they? We've laughed and snickered and chatted for hours over tea when I went down to pay the very reasonable rent {which has never increased over the past seven and a half years}. I've watched their kids grow from children, thru the awkward adolescence phase (and not once did the boys lose their patience when i mistakenly thought their sweet high voices belonged to their mom), to driving and senior year of high school {how'd that happen?!?} and listened to their mom brag about their many accomplishments. I've joined them for Christmas dinners and taught her how to crochet and to loom. And now, she is hosting the reception for us at our wedding.

I think good neighbors are kind and considerate, friendly without being nosy, giving and peaceful. I like being a good neighbor, helping when I can and not having to be asked to do so, while always being respectful of their wishes concerning their own affairs. I like drama-free neighbors who aren't always dragging the entire neighborhood into their squabbles and antics. Good neighbors don't necessarily have to have lots in common with each other. Some of my best neighbors whilst growing up were very different from me and my family, yet we always stopped each other on the front porch and chatted away; or visited over the back fence as we hung laundry. Folks are interesting in general, and good neighbors are there when you need them, and there in the background when you don't. i like knowing that my neighbors feel comfortable enough to call on me for assistance, if in need. cuz i like being a good neighbor, don't you?