30 July 2008

imma ijit

earlier this morning (like ya know, 2am-ish or so), i realized that while i've been very vigilant about my medicine and drinking enough and sleep hygiene (well except ya know tonight) for the past few days when i was in my more vulnerable states...i've been a d'uhm debbie d'uhm.  sigh.  around 2am-ish or so (i am nothing if not redundant) i was pouring myself a some tea and juice when i realized that i've not eaten a damn thing since friday.

that's very very unlike me.  i've never understood that 'i'm so upset that i can't eat' and i honestly don't believe that i've ever forgotten to eat.  i like food too much.  and when i'm preoccupied, nervous, anxious, and other forms of upset; i usually tend to eat lots and ravenously and fast and the very act of mastication seems to soothe me.  so i actually stood there with the fridge open, staring at the bare shelves, trying to cast my mind about to ascertain what i'd last ate and when.  and i think, i'm pretty sure, that it was friday evening, when i had a mushroom backyard burger from batesville.

four friggen days.  i think i need to stop at the store tomorrow afternoon on my way home from the meeting at the library at noon-ish.  the weird thing is, i'm not hungry.  i know that i need to eat, my body needs it, my brain needs it, my meds need it, and it'd just be a damn good idea.

chide me, sigh, i deserve it.  but i'm gonna eat!  later today.  i promise.


  1. I'm not gonna chide you.  I think sometimes when grief is so fresh and raw our bodies pull away from sustenance ('cause they don't like to, you know, throw, either) and then somehow let us know when it's time to go back.  Go.  Shop.  Be Frivolous.  At least a little.  :)

  2. I think you need to turn Imma Ijit into a character....and draw her.  I have a feeling about this.  ;)  And EAT!



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