earlier this morning (like ya know, 2am-ish or so), i realized that while i've been very vigilant about my medicine and drinking enough and sleep hygiene (well except ya know tonight) for the past few days when i was in my more vulnerable states...i've been a d'uhm debbie d'uhm. sigh. around 2am-ish or so (i am nothing if not redundant) i was pouring myself a some tea and juice when i realized that i've not eaten a damn thing since friday.
that's very very unlike me. i've never understood that 'i'm so upset that i can't eat' and i honestly don't believe that i've ever forgotten to eat. i like food too much. and when i'm preoccupied, nervous, anxious, and other forms of upset; i usually tend to eat lots and ravenously and fast and the very act of mastication seems to soothe me. so i actually stood there with the fridge open, staring at the bare shelves, trying to cast my mind about to ascertain what i'd last ate and when. and i think, i'm pretty sure, that it was friday evening, when i had a mushroom backyard burger from batesville.
four friggen days. i think i need to stop at the store tomorrow afternoon on my way home from the meeting at the library at noon-ish. the weird thing is, i'm not hungry. i know that i need to eat, my body needs it, my brain needs it, my meds need it, and it'd just be a damn good idea.
chide me, sigh, i deserve it. but i'm gonna eat! later today. i promise.