30 July 2008

surprise, surprise, surprise

It turns out, that maybe my wrath does know some bounds.  I need to process some of the recent events, but things may be not quite as bad as I feared.  Oh, not that 'my guy' and I will again be a 'we'; no, that would not be a very good thing (too much damage has been done and both of us realize how utterly unhealthy that would be~~besides, he has a new person in his life that actually seems to be an excellent choice.  he always said that if we broke up, he would want to choose my next man; but i must say that i think i approve of this woman.  she truly is very mature and seems to be quite level-headed.)

What I mean is that altho I will still be angry at times, I think that I am in a better place.  I think the major raw blustering storm has passed.  I don't think this calm is merely the eye of the storm (at least, I sincerely hope not), but that I am not as overwhelmed as I was.

I was terrified, and altho I am still scared, I am not feeling threatened and in need of protecting myself to the same degree as I've felt for the past few days.  I want to thank all of you for weathering thru this with me.  It is certainly not thru, not by a long shot, but I think I feel more assured that I can do this.

Each and every one of you have been so kind and supportive, encouraging and accepting and I want you to know how very much I appreciate you.

I will be removing some of my previous entries, as I have had such toxic anger spewing forth and I do not think that I can bear to have these recent posts as constant reminders of my wrath and rage.  'tisn't my way.  I've saved all your comments, and if I want to reread them, I can.

I've been completely devastated and know that there is a rough road ahead, but I think I can navigate it without becoming mired in muck.  To do that, I need to put these past entries aside, where they won't be a constant reminder.  None of you need feel that I'm so fragile that I cannot bear to think of this whole situation, it is what it is.

I'm ready to move on, taking the next step.  I'm sure I will come back to this horrid place for a visit, but I hope it is brief.  And if you haven't any idea what I'm speaking of because you've missed all the drama, drama, drama; count yourself lucky and enjoy some of my other entries.  Just chalk this up to a worthy woman's lesson.

1 comment:

  1. Ahhhhhh ... there really is light at the end of the tunnel.  


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