31 May 2010

Memorial Day Weekend

Hello! We had an awesome weekend! My Jerry and I went to Georgia for the twentieth {next year's the twentieth anniversary, but this year was the actual twentieth} MoonDance festival. Last year was the first year we went, and we had a blast. We'd camped, tent and all that. But last fall, they announced that cabins were gonna be available this year and we got all happy in our pants! When Jerry sent the eMoney to them, he included a note about how we were getting married during the time of FallFling and so would miss it but would be there for the MoonDance {always memorial day weekend}. So when we got there, we discovered that they actually set aside the RV that they used for an office last year for us. We promptly dubbed it the HoneyMoon Suite. So we had air conditioning and a bed and everything!

It was such a positive experience, met some old faces, some new friends, took some great classes, enjoyed some homemade mead, and found some wonderful trinkets and such. My Jerry bought this necklace I'm wearing in the picture. It's a pendant in the shape of a tree, made of copper wire, with jade strung along it to form the branches and leaves. I think you can click on it to see a close~up. The henna designs on my forehead and chin were done by the husband of the half that married on the first, the ones I made the afghan for that was pictured in last entry. It was his first time experimenting with henna, and I think he did a great job!

Hope you had a great fun~filled festive weekend and all travel safely in your return to your home.

23 May 2010

ferah's 'fg'an, all but finished

Remember a few weeks back, I posted a partial pic of Ferah's afghan? Well, I took apart the striped section which was about three by eight feet. And I used that yarn to make about four granny~squares of nineteen rounds each. In addition to the four squares that I'd already done, I was well on my way to doing a complete 'ghan; the finished product is a four by four as pictured here.

I will edge it with deep bright purple, keeping with the jewel tones of the tropical theme I associate with Ferah. And then? It'll be ready for me to take with me to Georgia to give her at MoonDance. Yea!!

In other matters, I did get things mostly unraveled with the gov'mnt folks regarding my meds and was able to get short~term supplies that should hold me til I get the longer~term ones cleared. So I started to retake my meds on Friday and I am feeling much better already. Tho I'm sort of wibbly as some doses may have been too large to start with, perhaps I should have put more thought into that.

22 May 2010

pissed, she said, pizt!

Well, yesterday I ran some errands, starting with getting a phone call from my doc before I left for an appt with the other doc. And then I went to the gym and talked to the folks there. Long time readers might remember that at one point for a couple years, I had a very active membership at the Wellness Center affiliated with our local hospital. Well, I may return there to begin activities with the pool. Yea!!

And then, well, then I went to the drug~store and spoke with the pharmacist who had lots of "bless~your~hearts" to throw into the mess. And we got me all fixed up. I, not thinking clearly, took the full dose of everything except my night~time stuff that makes my mind quiet enough so I can sleep, or at least ignore the jabber so I can slip into slumber. I thought I was doing good to not take that since I was driving. But! I think going without and then taking it all was a mistake. Again, not the smartest move, but I got thru it alright. Lots of stomach cramping and head~hurting, fortunately, I drove home before I started to slur my movements as well as my speech. Then I took a nap. Much refreshed. And I slept right thru the night, instead of waking a few times. It was good to wake up this morning, having had several sleep cycles with no interruptions.

After I picked up my meds, but before I took them, I stopped at our local public library. I love this place, and the people are stellar. There is one lady that gets easily confused, or it could just be that I'm not very clear. At any rate, here's what happened...

I decided to pick up an audio~book so that My Jerry and I could listen to it on our trip to Georgia and back. I remembered that he had said something about Stephen King's Stationary Bike one time, so that's what I grabbed. And then I saw Stephen King's Under the Dome was on audio and got all giddy, like I get over books and stuff, even audios. If I was a baby in a stroller, I'd've been grasping my hands in that outreached but can't get there mode and pointing my toes at the ends of my stiff legs. And grunting. I may have grunted yesterday at the library. In my head, I was definitely squealing, so I might have done so aloud.

But then what, gasp, what's this? Disk one thru fifteen? Part one of Under the Dome? See there, 30 disks total! it says so, right there. And I do remember reading it, My Jerry's eldest son got the book for him for Christmas. And I do know that it was long. But dude, wow, 35 hours...then I was overtaken with the urge to get it right now! right now! right now!

But I couldn't see part two, disks sixteen thru thirty, on the shelves. So I took it up to the lady at the desk, the one that given a choice, I usually wait to go to someone else. And I asked if she could tell me if the second part was checked out {if so, I said, I'd like to put a hold on it so that when it comes back, I can get it}. Apparently that was too many steps down the road and I should have just stuck to, "could you see if you have this?" She replied she doesn't know what the second one is. So I took it back, flipped it over and showed her that the second part would most likely be disks sixteen to thirty, of the same book.

"Well, perhaps they didn't do the second part yet."

Now, folks I know my brain isn't up to speed yet. But this comment set me back and my brain flipped and my mouth stayed clamped shut while my mind said, "yeah, I can see the audio folks right now decided, damn that's a looooooooooong~ass book...let's stop at disk fifteen." After some finagling, I found it on the waiting to be reshelved shelf {which she examined and said, nope not here}. So I stepped away from my other two items to go look at said cart and retrieve the second part, which made me happy.

However, as I stepped back to the counter, a woman and her young son stepped up too. And he started to go thru my book~bag. She stood there and watched him do that. And I thought, k, maybe her brain isn't processing that. So I stepped to the other side of him, and told him that I didn't particularly want him pawing thru my bag. To which the woman snapped out of her stupor and sank her talons into her son's shoulder and pulled him back against her, telling me that I should not be so rude as to jump ahead of them. No problem, it's not worth getting pissed about, I thought {and apparently said, aloud}, and reached for my books to step outta the way of this impatient woman who just now had come into the library {she wasn't waiting in line~~I'm careful about that}, and the librarian {who'd been upstairs in the cataloging area, checking with the cataloguer about the missing volume} returned and took my stuff from my hands along with my library card and began to check me out. The other woman got huffy and muttered, then clamped her hands over her son's ears and screeched to the librarian, "she said PISSED in front of my son!" and then, screeched to the library at large, "pissed, pissed, she said pissed! she said pissed in front of my son. pissed!" To which the librarian said, "yes and I believe you've just said it half a dozen times."

Sometimes, I just know which event is gonna make it into my blog the minute it happens. I think, "oh, I am sooOOOooo blogging this". Other times, I think I'll blog more details like my wedding, my friends' wedding, My Jerry's youngest granddaughter's arrival {Monday, glad you're here, baby girl!}, etc. and then I just don't get around to it. The moment passes and I move on to something else.

20 May 2010

d'uhm, debbie, d'uhm

I lifted this from over here, from the toon~dude. I didn't think he'd mind all that much. And it captures perfectly my state of mind for the past two weeks.

I normally take a handful of meds, with each having a significant impact on my functioning for the day. Since I don't have a thyroid, I depend on synthroid {or levoxyl}~~the synthetic equivalent of what your thyroid produces to metabolize every single cell in your body. I take a fairly high dose, cuz uhm, no thyroid means that my body doesn't produce at all. So my hypothalamus and pituitary demand more production, and hypothetically, the regular intake of the drug fools my body into thinking, yea! it's here, all's good and right and we can move on. So when I don't have the medication, my body does all kinds of panicky things like move into the starvation mode, which means that I am constantly hungry and yet sluggish.

Then too, there are the mood~stabilizer, the anti~depressant, the anti~convulsant, the anti~anxiety, and the anti~histamine which are completely absent from the picture at this moment and for the last two weeks. I've not been without for years, not to this extent. So the over~all effect of my being sans drugs has not been pretty. It isn't just the absence, but the actual withdrawal from the meds to take into account too.

Now, why oh why would I do this? Well it wasn't the smartest move on my part. I should have heeded the internal overwhelming feeling that I had that said, "ya know, debra, the gov'mnt might not be deserving of your trust at this point, just stick to your current med~plan of methodically filling your prescriptions in two different locations, even tho it's a pain in the butt and the military keeps pushing the much lauded oh so wonderfully promising home~delivery of regularly taken meds refilled automatically and with great ease!

For the better part of six months, I've been loath to trust the home~delivery option that is said to be so much easier, convinient, and cheaper...it was a vague feeling of impending doom. SO I got all uber~rational and logical and reasoned with myself to give it a try. Every time I'd fill a script at the local pharmacy and/or on base {air force, thirty miles from here}, I'd receive the in~person urging, then a mail reminder, and also a phone call...all saying, "c'mon, give our express scripts a try!!"

So I finally did. A few weeks ago, I called the military number for the home~delivery of 'scripted meds and got all set up. They assured me several times that they'd take care of contacting my doc and getting all the pertainent info and then this first time would take longer, but they'd get it all taken care of and then, why, then I'd see just how simple it is to use them! Just trust them, relax, and let them do their job.

Right. Shoulda woulda coulda listened to my own damn silly self. sigh.

but didn't, and it's my own damn fault.

long ramble somewhat shorter, what happened was a colossal fuck~up in which I've run out of all of my meds while waiting for them to do their thing. And I'd left more than twice the amount of time that they'd suggested, so I thought I had plenty of meds to take until they got their shit together and did the initial processing which is said to take longer than their normal time, subsequently.

And I cannot get any of my meds filled locally, because the military med insurance shows that there is currently an order in process; so they can't fill even a two week supply til they get their shit straight.

So the other day, they finally notify me via eMail {and also I've been checking the online site that allows me to see what's in progress} that one of my meds has been filled and is on its way! Great. ONE.

Then yesterday, my doctor's office calls me, very concerned, because she's been my doc for years now and is very familiar with my meds and all. The doctor's office received a fax from the military "express" scripts that no one in the office can read, but that they were worried about because they were aware that something wasn't right. So the doc asks me what's up and I all but burst into tears. My doc's the best, for me, and she took care of this personally~~no nurse calling me to find out what's what {altho I like Jaynie's entire staff, except for one of the receptionists, but since there are a few others, I seldom deal with her}.

So the crux of the matter is that the doc's office faxed back all the information that they'd sent a month ago, and so this morning, I got a note in eMail from the military express~script place saying that hey, great news for me, they've received another order and are gonna get right on that! Which means that in another two weeks, I should have all my meds and then in another few weeks from that, I should be back to ... normal...?

If I could, I'd cancel the entire thing. And go back to getting all the meds locally. Even tho the military is insisting that it'd be so much better to let them take care of it. Oh! and the reason that I couldn't get all my stuff from the air~force base thirty miles away? Their in~house pharmacy doesn't care two of my meds. Yet, they penalize me from using my local pharmacy that's been filling my stuff for years prior to my marriage and me getting my husband's medical insurance.

I'm trying to keep in mind that my negative mindset, the one that says, "oh debra, it's just this initial thing. once it all gets in the system, you'll love it, just like they say you will. IN A PIG'S ASS!" that negative mindset that is feeling full of gloom and doom and feeling a huge set~back that goes back to the onset of the needs for all these meds...that negative hopeless helpless mindset is sure that the "express~script home~delivery" will never work right and will constantly be an uphill battle and that I should just abandon ship and go back to the way I was doing things to start with except now my brain is all fucked~up and I can't think clearly enough to be able to cut thru all the red tape and bullshit and do what's right for me.

My Jerry has been wonderfully supportive during all this. Much more than I can express here. He's taking care of so much shit for me in these past few weeks, much more than he usually has to put up with. And soothing me when I get frustrated cuz I can't think, or I can't remember, or I can't explain, or I am too tired, or I can't sleep, or I burst into tears or & or & or & or...

So a big huge thanks to him, my love.

And I hope that in June, I'll be back to my witty {snort} self here in posts and able to say what i mean clearly and consicely; instead of rambling nonsense that exhausts me.

16 May 2010

blogger~dashboard sez

Everyone likes a hard~man, and Rbt Downey, Jr pulls it off so well. This afternoon My Jerry and I watched Iron Man at home and then went to the theater to see the second one. It has my stamp of approval!

In other regards, I've been feeling sorta puny of late. Not contagious, or infectious, but sluggish and yet jittery. Fun, oh such fun. But I'm feeling fine right this minute. However, that explains the rather spotty bloggish behaviour of late.

And, this is not a very special entry. It most likely should have been, but I can not really pull together the "yea! omg, this is the fifteen~hundredth entry!!".

so, yeah, there it is.


09 May 2010

Me and My Sharp Dressed Man

My Jerry and I are about to leave to go to Tupelo and have a nice dinner prior to the ZZ Top concert.

Here he is, in his tux~t {his dress shirt was dirty, we haven't gotten to the cleaner's yet; so he opted not to wear his gold brocade vest~~which I absolutely love on him...sharp!}. I'm really glad to be able to spend the evening with him, like this! He has really been excited about going, so it's awesome that he won tickets.

This hair has been the jaw~breaker of 'do's! It started April purple, a passionate purple, a violent violet. Then it was pink. A hot dark bright pink. Eventually it fluffed out into a paler pink, like cotton~candy.

And then I shaved the back/under~side. Finally, here it is whitish~blonde, with the occasional pinkish~hued touch here and there.

08 May 2010

ZZ Top

My Jerry won tickets to go see ZZ Top in Tupelo tomorrow evening!

I think the last concert of this sort that I'd been to was back in '98, in Knoxville. My mom and I went to see Eric Clapton. It was an excellent experience!

My Jerry's been really excited about going and has been looking forward to it for days now. He'd told me about a month ago about how much he'd like to go, but we didn't think seriously about it, cuz we had so many other plans that we didn't think we could afford this. So winning the tickets is extra~great!