hyperba wha...?

I simply can't tell you the number of times I have asked myself, "self, is it not possible to 'isometrically embed the hyperbolic plane as a closed subset of the Euclidean 3-space?' well, isn't it?"  Only to chide myself, "for the sake of all that's sane, 'please give up pondering this as it will only lead to the destruction of my health, peace of mind, and happiness in life.'*  please, if not for your own sanity, think of your guy!"  And then,  I admit, I don't know what an isometrically embedded hyperbolic plane is, let alone as a closed subset of the Euclidean 3-space (whatever that is).  I've heard these phrases, but never uttered in any relevant way to my own silly self.

Until...

Yeah, so the other day, the amaZING miss monica sent me the very easy instructions for crocheting tawashi.  Tawashi is a lil Japanese scrubby used for dishes and/or body parts.  Ya know, sorta like those poofy body puffs that are all the rage with the advertising of shower gels and such?  Those things.

AmaZING miss monica said that they were easy to do and fast and might give me a lil break so I don't shove my crochet hook into my eye while working on Lisa's thank-you afghan and squares (more on that later, I wouldn't want to confuse the issue any further, huge eye roll here).  That way I can still be productive while taking a break.  And as we all know, I am all about productivity (nodding solemnly, tis true; ask any of my friends and if they say differently, well that's just cuz they're all liars, all of them).

Stick with me here, cuz I am gonna tie it all up into a very ruffly quirky flirtatious ball.  A hyperbolic ball to be exact.  Stay tuned, dear reader.

The pattern is something like this:
     Hyperbolic Ball
ch2.
6sc into 2nd ch from hook.
turn.
2sc into each stitch.
turn.
2sc into each stitch.
turn.
continue to "2sc into each stitch" and turning until you want to drive your crochet hook into your eye.  then, you are done and need to return to the project from which you are taking your break.  have fun!

Actually, it really is fun and once you figure out (like I did eventually) that the "turns" do not mean "join and continue into one big ole circle, turn, turn, turn" but that "turn" means "turn, like in crochet, reach the end of the row and turn, ya know, flip it.  yes d'uhm debra, turn=flip as in the conventional sense of crochet and not 'turn' as in round and round and round turn".  Please do keep in mind that amaZING in no way contributed to my extreme agitation with my stupidly sillee me.  I call her "amaZING" cuz she truly is and she did tell me to NEVER EVER JOIN THIS.  I hold her in no way responsible for my own ineptitude.

Yeah, so then, cuz I was thinking "turn=round" instead of "turn=flip", my hyperbolic ball was not quite right.  So I googled "hyperbolic ball" so that I could SEE what the hell it was spoda look like.  And then I hadda click on this link, cuz I just hadda.  I mean, I simply could not resist, and really, who among all you crochet'ers could?  None, I say, none!

Not with a title like this:  Crocheting the Hyperbolic Plane

I mean, dude!  It is a scholarly paper!  Published in a real peer-review top-tier journal!  With real PhDs as authors from a real mathematics department at a real university!  And a prestigious one at that:  Cornell!

So I clicked on the link.  And that's when I lost my remaining academic mind.  I've not actually read past paragraph three, subsection one...cuz I'm still tickled pink over the idea that someone actually was able to write and get peer-review approval and publish a paper using crochet to explain hyperbolic planes, a geometrical concept that is difficult for most mathematicians to fully understand.

I mean, I love it when folks fuse art and crafts with academics.  Brilliant!  Kudos to the author, Daina.  The girl has moxie!

*the actual quote is below, and I now have reconfirmation of why so many men are maddening, cuz of all that dwelling on sensual passion: 

For God's sake, please give it up. Fear it no less than the sensual passion, because it, too, may take up all your time and deprive you of your health, peace of mind and happiness in life.

 Wolfgang Bolyai urging his son János Bolyai to give up work on hyperbolic geometry.