Punny eMail

Let The Puns Begin:

 

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception  was excellent.

 

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

 

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

 

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

 

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer, please, and one for the road."

 

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.  Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!"  exclaims Daisy.

 

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

 

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

 

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

 

I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

 

What do you call a fish with no eyes?  A fsh.

 

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

 

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.  "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

 

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.  One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal."  The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.  Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

 

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.  This made him, a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Cock-a-doodle-do, he crows

AN OLD FARMER WENT TO TOWN TO SEE A MOVIE.  HE TICKET AGENT ASKED, "SIR, WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR SHOULDER?"  THE OLD FARMER SAID, "Oh, THAT'S MY PET ROOSTER, CHUCKY. WHEREVER I GO,  CHUCKY GOES."  "I AM SORRY SIR," SAID THE TICKET AGENT. "WE CAN'T ALLOW ANIMALS IN THE THEATER."


THE OLD FARMER WENT AROUND THE CORNER AND STUFFED THE BIRD DOWN HIS OVERALLS. HE RETURNED TO THE BOOTH, BOUGHT A TICKET AND ENTERED THE THEATER. HE SAT DOWN NEXT TO TWO OLD WIDOWS NAMED MILDRED AND MARGE.  THE MOVIE STARTED AND THE ROOSTER BEGAN TO SQUIRM.  THE OLD FARMER UNBUTTONED HIS FLY SO CHUCKY COULD STICK HIS HEAD OUT AND WATCH THE MOVIE.
"MARGE," WHISPERED MILDRED.
"WHAT?" SAID MARGE.
"I THINK THE GUY NEXT TO ME IS A PERVERT."
"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO?" ASKED MARGE.
"HE UNDID HIS PANTS AND HE HAS HIS THING OUT," WHISPERED MILDRED.
"WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT," SAID MARGE.  "HELL, AT OUR AGE WE'VE SEEN 'EM ALL"
"I THOUGHT SO TOO," SAID MILDRED, "BUT THIS ONE'S EATIN' MY POPCORN!"

A Stash of tea

My tea has a prominent position of importance in my kitchen.  It occupies the entire counter that runs under my cupboards and is the first thing you see when you enter my home.  I have some of the odd and end bags sorted and arranged in one of the first baskets that my mother made for me.  The melon basket's peach and white reeds have faded slightly to a softer cream and lightly blushed comfortable possession.

I've boxes of bagged teas.  There are tins of loose teas.  I have herbal "teas" of all sorts of flavors.  I'm not particular about brands, sampling from here and there.

Years ago, my very first favorite tea as a child was nutmeg tea.  It came in a little white tin with black and brown print.  I loved watching my mother fill the stainless steel egg with the spiney black fragrant pieces and then she would pop it into the pot.  I always wanted to dunk it about and then after it had drained, I would screw it apart, and tamp the wet leaves which reminded me of my father filling his pipe with cherry tobacco.  I was rather surprised to find that the damp tea didn't taste remotely the way the cherry smoke smelled!!

Then for many years as a teen, Celestial Seasoning's "Sleepy Time" was a favorite.  I loved everything about it, right down to the comfy bear with the snoozing kitty.   Sometimes, I would place unused bags between my pillow and its case, just so I could inhale the scent deeply, holding it in my lungs, as I fell asleep.

Stash tea tickled my fancy as I left undergrad school in PA and moved to Portland, OR.  I read what I could and was enthralled with visiting the company.  Well, the idea appealled, but I never quite made it there for a tour.

Now, I always loiter in the tea section of the grocery.  Even though I have more tea than China (which is no mean feat, as I own very little China!), I still purchase the occassional box to add to my stock.  There are the old reliables to keep on hand.  Yet, some of the newer blends pique my senses.

Have a cuppa, sit back, and relax.

A motherlode

All hail the queen and her 99 "exact twins".

Buckingham Palace hosted a lovely luncheon for the Queen and her 99 guests who all share her birthday.  All 100 of them will be 80 on 21 April.  They came from Australia, New Zealand, and Canada to visit the mother-country for the event.

Most were surprised to find the Queen so different than they had thought.  She is a warm, genuine person who takes interest in folks, not just as her subjects, but as peers.  One woman affectionately says that the Queen is very small, just a slip of a thing.

The Queen gave heartfelt thanks for their company and wished them all a very happy birthday.

Miffed, Moussaoui 'mentally ill'

Ok, dudes.  sigh.  Let me vent here.

The BBC is covering the Moussaoui trial.  The aspect I want to focus on for a minute here, is the use of the idea of Mental Illness, the associations and connotations to the further perpetuation of stigma, and the defense's strategy.  "Defence lawyers are trying to persuade jurors to spare his life because there is evidence he is mentally ill."

First of all, I have mental illnesses and brain disorders.  However, I am responsible for all my actions, thoughts, and attitudes.  Society and certain individuals may influence my perceptions, but when it comes down to brass tacks, I blame no one else for any of my faults.

I am responsible for the consequences of my behavior.  This includes not only overt acts of commission, but also the consequences of non-behavior (omission).  For instance, if I realized that I couldn't keep a previous engagement, and didn't notify the person, then I acted irresponsibly by not picking up the friggen phone.

I understand that sometimes we are under the influence of chemical reactions, medications, etc.  However, we are not absolved of our responsibilities at such times.  I don't say, "well ya know, I couldn't help myself because I was impulsive due to mania, so I shouldn't be held accountable for..." the bills I ran up, or the case of STDs that I got, or whatever...

Those are minor things compared to what Moussaoui's defense team admits he's done.  They are not pleading that he didn't do those acts of atrocity.  What they are doing, is they are saying that he should not be held accountable for his behavior.

It angers me that the concept of being mentally ill should be invoked to excuse some one of something they are responsible for.  I am not to blame for having Bipolar, but I do take responsibility for my actions.  This holds true even when I am in the throes of acute mania.

Mental Illness, folks who deal with mental illness, and those who are mentally ill deal with negative assumptions from others on a regular basis.  Every time we as a group take steps forward on busting stigma, there is something which serves to be a reinforcer of incorrect assumptions.  He didn't do this because he was paranoid schizophrenic.  He didn't do itbecause he is mentally ill.  He did it because he didn't choose not to do it.

If I did something that I planned, after having reviewed the possible consequences, knowing what was probable to occur...I don't get to say, well, mentally ill.  That's my ticket.  Nope.  That is not my get out of jail free card.

It starts with one...

Today, one little red paper clip...

Tomorrow, a house!!

This dude builds his dream of moving a paper-clip into owning his own home. His name is Kyle MacDonald, a crazy Kanook who is out to do a remarkable thing.  He has already moved up to a year's free rent...

But, wait!  It's not over yet!

Kyle uses CraigList.  One day he thought, "hm, it'd be interesting to see what I can do with this..." while staring at a red paper-clip.  So, he set the goal of owning his own home, through a series of barters, starting with a small ordinary do-dad.



He posted the picture of the red paper-clip on the CraigList and traded up for a fish-pen.  That was the embarkment on an amazing bartering adventure that has carried him from one place to another, all over the continent.  See what a goal, motivation, and a zestful spirit can accomplish?

For the full details, go here.

Sharing

...yet another to pass along.

This is what marriage is really all about...

He ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half.  He placed one half in front of his wife.  He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.  He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.  As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them kept looking over and whispering.  You could tell they were thinking, "That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple.  The old man said that they were just fine - They were used to sharing everything.
The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite.  She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.  Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."
As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked "What is it you are waiting for?"  She answered, "The teeth."

whatcha sayin'?

...and another gem to share.

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.  They decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them  that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing  things down to help them remember.  Later that night, while watching  TV, the old man gets up from his chair.
His wife asks, "Where are you going?"

"To the kitchen" he replies.
 "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
  "Sure."
 "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.
 "No, I can remember it."
 "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better write it down because you know you'll forget it."
 He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with
 strawberries."
"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd  better write it down!" she retorts.
 Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it!
 Leave me alone! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!" Then he grumbles into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.  She stares at the plate for a moment and says - "Where's my toast?"

Raising the bar of expectations...in the Court Room

In my eMail box are several jewels that I would like to share with you, my friends.

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, 

and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
__________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
_______________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
___________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you  performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?  What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
 _______________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
 ________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?
 _________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive,  nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law...

belly-dancing

Belly-dancing is rich in cultural meanings.  But it can be a great way to work those abs, to become more familar with your own body, and tone up.  I recommend visiting www.shira.com for more information.

Yoga Booty Ballet

gasp!

Ya know there's all kinds of exercise programs out there.  Some are gimmicky.  Some are legit.  And some are legitimately gimmicky.

I was surprised to see this one.  I don't know why.  I guess cuz I think of yoga as a solemn thing.  Yes, it can be fun.  But somehow, booty and yoga are just not terms I mix.  Neither are booty and ballet.  Altho, both yoga and ballet are good for the booty...

It's just that the name tickles me!

Finding myself

Over here!!

No, here!!

Under that document.  No that other document.

Ta-Da!!  Here I am!!

Sometimes, I can be rather self-absorbed.  I think it is because for so long, I didn't think of myself.  I didn't think I deserved to think of myself.  I didn't think I even had a self to think about.  And if I did, well, I certainly shouldn't be thinking about it, now should I?

So, swinging way to the other end of the spectrum, I became giddy with the notion that I have a self.  And it is ok to look at me.  And it is ok to think about me.

But, in the course of discovering more about myself, I sometimes focus on me so much so that I am blinded and deafened to the others around me.  I forget to take into consideration other people.  This can hurt other people, me, and my relationships with other people.  I need to learn that balance between self-denial and self-absorbtion.

FlyLady

Last night, I was down at my landlord's.  I jabber with her for awhile, then give her the rent (that way she must chit-chat, in order to get her rent...sort of a counselor session, or a rent-a-friend).  Anyway, she told me about FlyLady.

Flylady.com will take you to flylady.net so either way, ya get where ya need to be.  Just remember FlyLady.

I'm not gonna say anything else, except it's clean.  go, shoo, go, shoo-fly!!

Time, a fairly fluid concept...sixth

alright, due to all the eMails that are flocking to my box about this whole thing that is suppose to be happening tomorrow, i gotta have me say.  you knew that was coming, didn't ya?  for those of you who didn't know, this is what is going on:

01:02:03 04/05/06
the third second after the second minute of the first hour of the fifth day of the fourth month of the sixth...wait not the sixth year...

since we are using shorthand for 2006, most numerologist say, it's no big deal.

still others dispute that the year is 2006, saying that we are off on our calculations  altogether. 

and other cultures base the year on their own political or religious figures or events.  i mean, isn't that what we did?  so to some, it is not even 2006.

some say that if we are going to use shorthand for the year 2006 (06), then what's to  stop us from using shorthand for 13:02 (1:02 pm).

many countries put the number of the day first, then the number of the month. So for many places, 01-02-03-04-05-06 happens at 1:02 a.m. May 4.

and then there is the whole daylight savings time thing to consider....

maybe i woke on the wrong side of the bed!!  or in the wrong year...  or the wrong
place....

Tea for one, or two, or three...or more!

What's the difference between white, black, red, and green teas?

Gosh, I am sooooooooooo glad you asked!  Cuz now I can provide an answer.  How the pickings are processed is the biggest difference between "color" teas.

Most tea comes from the plant "Camellia sinensis".  Black, red, and green teas use the upper leaves; while white tea comes from the early tender buds at the end of the lower branches.  Black and red teas are really the same; what americans call "black", the chinese call "red".

Oolong is a mid-step between the green tea (processed some) and black tea (processed more).  So green tea is usually unoxidized, oolong is partially (or somewhat) oxidized, and black is fully oxidized.  White tea is the closet to leaves off the plant.  Green tea is unfermented, while black is aged moreso.

What about orange pekoe, Debra?

Again, so glad you asked!!  Cuz, again, I get to explain (and hey! it's my journal, so I get to do what I wanna...most of the time).  The actual origins are lost, but now the name no longer refers to what it did at one point in time in our past.

Orange may refer to the color of the brewed liquid (a copperish tinge) or it may refer to the blossoms that used to be packed with the tea when it was exported (to disguise any um unpleasant scents and tastes cuz it is fermented) or it may even refer to the political powers that were.  And/or all three explanations came into play through history.

Pekoe, earlier, meant the fuzzy white new buds and new leaves.  But now, it refers to black teas only.  So tradition has changed through the years.  Now when we read orange pekoe on regular bags/boxes of quantity tea, we can rest assured that it really is just regular, processed, fermented, black (or red, depending if you are here or there) tea.

Rooibus is a different matter all together.  It is not really tea, in the same sense the above are teas.  It comes from a different type of plant.  And it's for another post, some other time.  As are the benefits and other traditions, flavorings, etc.

ahem, tain't the size that counts...

us lil peoples need our say-so, too!  (she pipes up)

Medicare, nor Medicaid, will not reimburse licensed professional counselors (LPCs) who have private practices.  Those agencies will only reimburse clinics (those who worked inside the clinic are not paid as per insurance reimbursements, rather they are paid a flat salary/wage regardless).  The idea is that doctors (gasp) are involved and so the treatment must be superior to that which a person might receive if a doctor were not in the building and/or associated with said clinic (the doc is frequently elsewhere when clients are being counseled, sometimes in a different county even).  Actually, most LPCs especially in private practice, are supervised by a doctor.  So, THAT whole concept doesn't hold water as a justification.

This policy is extremely unfair to clients and counselors alike.  Clients do not have a choice of counselors as they must frequent the clinic and not any of the private practicioners.  In our area, there is one clinic, per county.  These clinics are all apart of the same organization (Community Counseling).  In some cases, recipients of Medicare/Medicaid have no place to go to receive services at all (as sometimes Community Counseling is not available for them, such as if a relative works within the system, then services for the entire system is closed to them, not just that particular office).  The counselors who work for the organization are way over-loaded and cannot devote the time, energy, and other resources for all of their cases because the demand surpasses the supply.  So burn-out and high turn-over results, and that is not good for the client who must start all over with a new counselor and it is not good for the incoming counselor who has to wade through the mess, often drowning and suffering severely before sinking and moving on.  Nor is it good for the outgoing counselor who is often more than a little soured on public-service positions, which leads to further shortages of qualified counselors who are willing to serve in those agencies.

Nor is it fair to the licensed professional counselor who practices in private practicioner settings.  They either cannot take clients who have Medicare/Medicaid or they have to accept a pittance for their services if they do take on a patient who has this type of insurance (as usually the client cannot afford even the self-pay rates, cuz ya know, their income level is sorta low, to make an understatement).  There are some LPCs who will make an exception to the rule, but that's just that, an exception.

Representative May Whittington (MS) has been the latest in a long-string of legislative folks to take this issue up as one of her causes.  She feels that we ought to pass an amendment which would allow a bill to be law, stating that Medicare/Medicaid must reimburse LPCs even if they don't practice in a clinic setting.  Hurray for May!!

Unfortunately, this bill has been floating around in the cesspool of congressional sessions for sometime.  It keeps getting sunk into the murky depths of rejection.  However, it bobs to the surface and someone swoops and scoops it up and carries it back in to the current session only to be bombed again.  sigh.

Please, write or call your representative about this matter.  I have the pertainnent info here in MS, but your state has a similar bill bouncing around too.  If anyone wants help in finding out specific information about the legislature in your state, let me know and I will help you find it!!!

For Mississippi:

"House Bill 447

AN ACT TO AMEND SECTION 43-13-117, MISSISSIPPI CODE OF 1972,
TO PROVIDE THAT MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELING SERVICES PROVIDED BY
A LICENSED PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR (LPC) WILL BE REIMBURSABLE
UNDER THE MEDICAID PROGRAM; AND FOR RELATED PURPOSES."
Copy and paste:
http://billstatus.ls.state.ms.us/documents/2006/html/
HB/0400-0499/HB0447IN.htm

Odd couplings

My friend, Beverly, loves boston terriers.  She's had them all her life.  Her Mandy, 3, was run over and killed a few weeks back.  Beverly was just devastated.

Enter Sweet Pea.

Beverly picked up the 6 week pup a couple weeks ago.  She was describing her to me, since we live a few hours away and chances are I won't see the pup while she is still a pup.  I got to giggling, then chuckling, which degenerated into snorts and chortles, which I was glad Beverly couldn't hear.

Cuz Sweet Pea really does sound precious.

It's just, well, her mixed heritage.  I usually am not a snob when it comes to parentage, mixed or otherwise, but this just tickled my fanciful side a bit too much.  I still giggle, gurgle, and gasp at the picture I imagine.

Sweet Pea's mother is a boston terrier.  Now I realize that boston's come in all shapes and sizes, but this was a not a small boston (small for the breed, I mean).  So how in the hell Sweet Pea's dad got him a piece of that boston pie, well, I am picturing perhaps a step being involved, or even a ladder.  Cuz Sweet Pea's dad is a teacup chihuahua.

Dude, tell me you're not snorkling over this and I say you've got no sense of humor a'tall.  nope, none.

mint-tea, mint-tea, mint-tea

I was reading (cuz i like to do that) about drinking tea (cuz i like to do that, too) whilst drinking mint-tea (cuz i...oh, you get the point).  The article was about how folks who are allergic to pollens might not oughta be drinking certain types of tea because the main ingredients are harvested in areas where hay, ragweed, and other pollens might be comingled.  So, the main culprit appears to be chamomile, but be advised that other primary stuffs like rose-hips (those voluptuously heartee parts) and mints (there are lots more kinds of mints than i had thought, catnip is a mint, didj'all know THAT?) may also be, gulp, contaminated with pesky pollens.

and here i thought mint would be good for opening my sinuses, that chamomile would be wonderful for those edgy nerves (can't be throwing fits ALLlll the time, nor everywhere), and that rose-hips would be good for soothin my throat (or just plain good for all my parts, after all, who can't use a few good rose hips throwing curves at ya every now and then?).  show's ya what i know!

well, didja evah?

Ya know how you can do something that is so embarrassing that later you make it worse by being ashamed and apologizing when the other party didn't even think it was a big deal to begin with...?  or maybe it is just me.   muttering, shrugging shoulder, raising one palm and eyebrow.  sigh.

Alright, well then, ya might know how silly, embarrassed, shamed-faced, and regretful I felt on Friday afternoon.  Cuz boy did I pitch a fit at the gym, standing at the front desk in a bathing suit, two towels, and my sandles.  I didn't mean to.  It just kinda get away from me.

I did apologize profusely once I calmed down.  And then I burst into tears, which made as all uncomfortable.  I hate bursting into tears like that.  sigh.  seems sorta childish.

Of course, I would have a full-blown panic attack, complete with hyperventilation and woozy wibble-wobbles (like the weeble-people, remember them?).  I tried to stifle it instead of letting it run its course.  That made me panicky cuz I was panicking, see the vicious cycle here?

Fortunately, I think we got everything squared away.  I apologized, they apologized, they calmed my panic attack and I took my jittery butt to the pool.  I sat on the edge and dangled my legs til I got it all together and then did some relaxing strokes til all the tension was gone.

Upon reflection, I realized that I most likely was beginning to feel the effects of missing several doses of my anti-depressant.  I forgot to get it filled.  So, Saturday I got all my drugs for the month.  And I think I feel much better for the most part.

Now if I could just do something about my allergies.  The pollen is wrecking my sinuses.  Even though I take allergy meds, this time of the year is hard on me.  The post-nasal drippage is tearing up my throat, which in turn is messing with my ears and that is  throwing off my balance.  It's a dizzying experience.

Spring has Sprung

Now that the clocks have been adjusted and we are starting Daylight Savings Time, we are THAT much closer to saying "b'bye" to the bad weather, namely cool temps.  And ready to say "heya" to other forms of bad weather, namely tornadoes and rain rain rain (with wind, oh, could be those are hurricanes).  This is tornado season (the fall is hurricane season).

The pollen is coating all with thick heavy greenish yellow (or yellowish green, either way, it's disturbingly similar to hhhhhhhhhhhhhhawktue mucus).  People are sadly mistaken if they think that rain helps to dampen and therefore calms pollen so that allergy sufferers get a break after a storm.  Not so.  That same storm that leaves your yard looking tossed to the winds, that same storm that leaves the road scattered with debris like branches and the occassional tree-limb, that same storm that makes your hair feel electrified, that same storm that made your livestocks' eyes roll widely is the same storm that wrecks havoc on pollen, stirring it up and pushing it into crevices and other supposedly airtight vaccuums.  Rains actually cause pollen to be more apt to be breathed into the body, irritating the sinuses and lung-lining.  This in turn can make mildly mannered folks turn into savage snotty beasts.

But gosh the budding trees, bloomin' flowers, and lush green grass are sure purty!

wootee-woot!

Today, I went to the gym with trepidition.  My shoulders (in the front, the area between where my arm joins my torso and my collar bone) are very sore from the water-workout Tuesday night with Cory.  But then I thought, well, go and if the weights are too much, put em down and do the workout without them.

So I slipped into my swim suitee and climbed into the pool.  I stretched and got ready for the water-workout.  Cory wasn't there today, but Elizabeth came and she was enthusiastic.  A good instructor, but not intent on pushing us to the max (which was a good thing, cuz we were all spaghetti-arms).

Glad I went.

I weighed myself.  215 pounds!!  And that was in the evening.  So in the AM, I probably weigh even less.  So, I lost 20 pounds in less than 3 months!

Cool, huh?

I caught myself from going to celebrate with ice-cream.  sigh.  Some habits die hard.  But, I came home, sans ice-cream and had some tea instead.  yea for me!

A day in the life of...

Three in the morning is too damn early to be wide-awake.  Especially if I just went to bed and half past midnight.  But I couldn't get back to sleep.  So around five, I sighed and hauled my ass outta bed and into some public clothes, or rather gym clothes.

That's right, I said, "gym".  I carted my butt to the gym at 5:30 AM.  My lord, there were people there.  They were moving about, they were swimming, they were laughing.  Oh my eyes, my ears, my muscles....

I did my work-out, complete with a wide variety of machines and the recumbent-bike.  Then I showered and poured my sluggish self into my swim-suitee.  And I slinked out to the pool and slithered in.  Ahhh, the warm soothing lapping water...so calming, so gentle, so...what in the world?  there are people, leaping, jumping, stretching, blink, blink, in the water!  A water workout class at 8 AM!!

I was out of the gym by 9.  I tell ya, this was one long-ass day.  It felt like I put in an entire day before I normally open my eyes.

Let's not be making this a habit, k?

Weight!! I'm swimming, here!

I don't know if I told ya, but I'm taking swimming lessons.  I got the back strokes down pat (cuz I'm good on my back, doncha know) but the front stuff which involves that tricky act of breathing throws me for a loop.  AJ says that I'm getting it.  I think I am.  But dudes!  35 is a weird age to be learning to breath...

Also, I now weigh less than 220.  Omigawd!!  I am sooooo thrilled.  fer sure.

I really am.  I weigh somewhere between 217 and 219.  I think perhaps by the end of the week, I might hit 215.  Perhaps.  Especially if I don't go holding my breath.

Oh!  and I am a few steps closer to the whole "forgive/discharge the student loan" business.  Yea!!

So, what's new with you?  How about You?  and what about YOU?

Death's Blows

Over the weekend, Scott and I spoke of suicide.  Not my own.  I told him about a friend of mine who worried that she would leave a mess behind and so would clean and get all her affairs in order and then when she was mostly through, she would be so tired that she wouldn't be able to find the energy to commit the act.  Besides, none of us can tidy all of our affairs, there are loose ends somewhere along the way.

We spoke about how the person that finds you would be affected and how that is not really avoidable, unless you were to disappear.  Even that carries its marks and lingering troubles.  So if you ever existed here, then you will always exist in someone's mind, their memories, their thoughts, their dashed dreams of the future.  There really is no escaping that.

This morning, a friend of mine who I met through NAMI trainings and events, told me that a woman we knew through the same events was dead.  She killed herself through self-medication, drinking, and so forth.  She is gone, but her memories live on and her ten year old son must cope with her death forever.  He will be sorting through her life and death for years to come.  I hope he did not find her.  I am glad she did not linger in a coma never to return.

How does her death affect me?  Only in the general broadest sense, I'd suppose.  We were not close, we were not friends.  I knew her only because she was one of the mentors through my first NAMI training, Peer to Peer education.  I was not terribly fond of her then.

I wouldn't wish her troubles upon her, or even my worst enemy.  I am sorry that she was not able to reach out for help, or to accept the assistance she might have been offered.  I don't know what her life was like or how she experienced it.

I can only tell you that this reaffirms that death by my own hand is not an option that I choose.  Will there be a time of horrendous chaos that overwhelms me?  Yes.  Will I become suicidal at some point in my future?  Perhaps.  I can only hope that if that point comes, I will recall my anti-suicidal thoughts.  I hope that I will reach out for help.  I hope that I will accept it.

Dude! the day in review, thus far...

So this AM, I had an appt with the Dr.  8:40 is way too early for me to be out driving, apparently the county-road-folks thought so too, cuz I almost did not get there due to some road work of the rarest variety.  In fact, only on this farm in Mississippi would you see such a sight!

First, I had to drive around the idle road-grader.  That's not too uncommon.  We have the road re-graded often during the spring.  Heavy rains make the dirt and gravel rut and pile.  Not a good thing.  Course then, when is rutting and piling ever a good thing?  Getcher minds outta the gutter, folks!  You know who you are, don't be making me name names now.

Then, I had to drive around the fence.  The new fence that my landlords just put in a couple weeks back, replaces the old gate they tore down, which seemed pointless to me, cuz the fence is not there for any functional reason, just asthetics.  So as I drove around the new white fence, I glanced over to see why in the world we have three earth-moving machines clustered at the entrance.

They were removing the cattle-gap!!  (gasp)  And after I came back from the Drs, the road was all fixed and smoothed and no bumply gap to drive over anymore.  This is a really big deal.  See, for those of you who are city-slickers, a cattle-gap is sort of a gate in the surface of the road.  It was made of rails (like those for the rail-road, rail-way, trains).  Its function normally is to keep cattle on the property.  Cuz, dumb as cows are, they are smart enough to think, "hey, if I try to cross that, my hoof could get caught in the gaps between them there metal things, and say! I could break my leg and then have to be put down (shudder)".

Thing is, this farm gave up on the dairy business years and years back.  Now we just raise hay, hell, and kids.  So, the county-road-folks came out today and removed the grating from the road.  Big improvement.  It's almost like we are now joined with the rest of the county, instead of being The Farm on which the road peters out.

Ok, so that's the big farm excitement...

The nurse at the Drs, (and really where else would the nurse be in the capacity of a nurse?) told me to "hop up on the scales."  So I did.  I hopped all the way across the room.  She cracked up laughing.  That's my good deed for the day, making the nurse laugh.  Gosh that feels good.

Great news!!  I weigh 220!!  I lost all the weight I had gained in the past year.  The last time I weighed 220ish was March 05.  Wootee-woot!

Then I went to the library.  Has anyone read Bill Crider?  This is an author whose books I checked out today.  I've never read his stuff before, so I'll give it a go.

It's cold, windy, and I'm gonna go burrow under my covers with "A Time for Hanging".  Shaddow and Ziggee will probably curl up and keep me company.  Later, we might all take a nap.

Well, that's it for the exciting day, dude!

April

April brings two things that are connected in my life.

One is that three years ago, in April, my life took a drastic turn.  That was when I took medical leave from the PhD program.  That was when the mental illnesses broke through the last of my defenses.  That was the beginning of the summer spent in purgatory.

This April brings the restart of the NAMI support group meetings.  I'm facilitating one per month per town.  That is a huge change from what I had been doing!!

So, starting Thursday 13th April, NAMI Support Group Meetings will meet in Columbus and Starkville on the second Thursday of every month.  Columbus will meet at 10a til 11:30a.  Starkville will meet at 1pm until 2:30pm.

If there is a demand for more, down the road, then someone else can go through the training and step up to the plate and shoulder some of the responsibility.  I'm going to watch my own limits closer and make sure I don't skate on the thin ice of burn out again.  I cannot afford that, especially with these sorts of disorders affecting me.

It's the little things...

My phone finally quit working.  It took lots of abuse a few years ago.  So, I'm not surprised when the 3, 6, and 9 keys were no longer registering.

So, I bought a new phone.  It was less than 10 bucks, but has all the features I'd use.  Cool, huh?

My old vinyl table-clothe that was on my huge kitchen-table which is actually used as my office table and holds all my electronic stuffs; well, that old vinyl thing was ripped, shedded, tore...had seen its last days.  So whilst gandering at phones, I detoured through the table-clothe isle.  I found hunter-green and white checkered cotton clothes.  But, I didn't think to measure the table.  So I bought two, for 10 bucks for both.  Once I got home and unfolded one, I realized that one was large enough for the big ole table.  So, I left the other one folded and draped it on my real kitchen-table, which I actually use for a kitchen-table, in my kitchen.

So, the kitchen looks some spruced up.  I also threw away the old towel that I was using under my stainless-steel dish-drainer and put a nice fresh white cotton one under there.  And I placed a hunter-green pine-scented candle-in-a-jar on the green and white checkered clothe on the kitchen-table.

Details, details, details.

The kitchen just feels so much more comfortable.

In the office, I took out all the NAMI stuff and stacked it in a corner in the living room.  Then I took the study rug out and draped it over the fence with the other rugs.  I'll get to them eventually.  I filed all my paperwork, put away all my books, rearranged my medicine shelf, and swept the floor.

The study is now nice and neat.  The phone looks good on the clutterless table, which is covered in the green and white cotton clothe.  So ya might say it all looks spiffy, even.

I did a few loads of laundry.  Hung a new hunter green shower liner behind the curtain.  The bathroom has a fresh feel as well.

So basically, it's just my bedroom which needs a quick tossing.  The rugs need cleaning.  I need to paw through the NAMI stuff.

But I am making tons of progress.  Cuz it's the little things that all add up.

a few hours sleep later, and PRESTO!

Gosh I feel ever so much better now.  I called and got the gas thing straightened out.  I did most of my other business.  Gee, and 'taint even noon yet!

snippittee, i do it well

I'd say in honor of St. Pat's day that I turned the journal green, but that'd be a bald-faced lie.  Instead, I turned green, but not in honor of St. Pat's day.  Lemmee explain...

I've not been dealing well with stress lately, not even a smidgeon.  So, last night, while attempting to relax at a local coffee/bakery, I went into overdrive.  Lemmee explain...

Shortly before closing time, early, ya know, spring break hours (don't ask, I too would have thought they'd be open later, but alas, no); a police car with flashing lights (did I mention strobe lights can cause seizure-like activity in me?  no?  well, yet another factoid for ya to store away) zipped into the parking lot.  Lemme explain...

Seems some dork called in a bomb threat to the neighboring Pizza Hut (what the fuss?!?).  So the police, ambulance, fire dept, EMTs, and miscellaneous other folks that were terribly excited flocked to the scene of the potential problem.  So, we all were evacuated.

After packing my computer in my car, I called the two young employees over to me (further away from the alleged bomb-site).  I asked if either had cell phones.  They both eagerly produced them.  I said that although I didn't see media, that did not mean much, and just on the off-chance that the news flashed this sensational event across the air-waves, perhaps the kids should call their folks.

Then, call the owners of the store.  No one knew their number.  I, however, being the handy-dandy person I am, produced a phone book (doesn't everyone carry on around in the trunk of their car?  no?  well, yet another factoid to store in yer heads).  The owners' line was busy (probably on the web, dial-up, no other option when you live on cow poke road, I guess).

However, the excitement seemed to be dying down, folks were either re-entering the stores or driving off to spread the excitement of the evening.  I went back in with the kids, and helped to straighten some of the mess of the mad dash to exit.  I offered to stay til the owners did show (by now they reached them).  They assured me that they were ok, plus the owners were on their way, and the girl's daddy showed up to calm her (it was her first bomb-threat).

I drove to my friend's house because I had called her to let her know that I was OK (cuz it is, after all, all about me) and to let her know that thebomb-threat seemed to be just that, a threat.  I got to her place and checked my voice-mail, cuz I had signed off IMs rather abruptly with two friends, who do know my number, as we were friends in actuality before the virtual connection was made.  That's when my head began to throb moreso, my heart began to race, my skin got all sweaty and slick, and I got so dizzy that passing out seemed like a good option (but I never seem to be able to do that).  Lemmee explain.

See, I've been having a run-around-about with the propane folks.  Mostly miscommunication, nothing that cannot be fixed.  But I'm just so sick of dealing with this shit.  And there was a message on the voice-mail pertaining to that whole SNAFU.

Then, I tried to make an outgoing long distance call on my friend's line, but I had forgotten that her land-line is local only.  Silly me.  And I really wanted to call Scott, my security-blanket...I mean, my boyfriend.  She was using her cell.

No problem, I thought, I'd sit and wait.  When she came in the room, she looked at me and got very concerned.  I never had a full-blown panic attack around her before.  It's not pretty to witness.  At least I wasn't mumbling mantras to myself (sometimes I do that to calm the inner-me), that woulda scared the holy-bejesus outta her.

No, instead she thought I was having a heart-attack, cuz I was pale, sweating, jittery, breathing rapidly and shallow, and not very coherent.  Plus to there was the racing pulse, contracted eyes, and general weakness.  My jaw did hurt, but that was tension, and in my state I was not thinking too clearly so missed the connection as to why she was asking (sillee me).

At least she did not call the ambulance (they could have responded really really quickly, they were only down the road a mile or so, at the bomb-threat scene).  That would have heightened my panic.  She did remember that I sometimes have panic attacks and cleared the couch so I could sprawl.  She got me a blanket.  She talked to me.  She turned out the lights.

I went to sleep.  That's one of the best things to do when I am coming out of a panic attack.  I am very tired, drained.  And driving is not a good option at a time like that.  I know this from past experience, but that's another story.

I woke just before 4am.  Decided that I ought to get home while I can.  I wrote a note, headed home, climbed in the shower, dressed in my guy's pjs (when in a pinch, take comfort where ya can), took some meds, and decided that since my brain was racing along, I'd post an entry.

So, how was your evening?

oh, and...

So, Saturday, before Ziggee came home on Sunday; I got down on the hands and knees and scrubbed the kitchen, living room, and hallway floors.  I moved all the furniture.  I went through an entire bottle of Pine-Sol.  I went through countless buckets of water.

That floor looks good!!

And then I hung all the freshly laundered drapes.

And all the rugs are out, hanging over the fence, airing.  Maybe it will rain on them.  Maybe I'll be able to do some sort of shampoo job on them, I don't know.

I do have all the NAMI stuff spread out in the office.  SO that is the next thing to be tackled, along with laundry, the bathroom floor, the bedroom floor...

And my toilet now flushes properly.  No more sticking my hand in the tank to flip the plunger around.  Gee, and THAT was sooo much fun.

a bit spotty, eh?

I haven't been journalling with any regularity lately.  There's just so much that's up in the air.  Quite a bit of it is more personal than not.  But, an update on the dog situation...

The saga continues...(much eyebrow wriggling)...I know all you are waiting with baited breath (which is much better than dog breath) for the next issue, tune in tomorrow and hear Ziggee attempting to howl with the big dogs.

Actually, ya don't even have to wait.  Anymore, I mean.  Ya waited long enough.

Cuz I know how your lives just cannot go on one more night without knowing.

So here's the latest...

Ace is settled nicely into his new home.  Yea!

The woman who had Ziggee for a week, couldn't keep him, her fibro makes it hard to walk him and such.  She cried when he left.  She spoiled him rotten in just that one week.

But he's a charmer, so spoiling him is not hard.

My friend who works with NAMI at the home office in Jackson has a 3yr old male chihuahua.  She is looking for a second to keep him company.  Ziggee is 3 yrs old next month, a male, and a rat terrier (feist) and chihuahua blend.  So he is perfect for this situation.  My friend is all excited and she is coming up to meet him at the end of the month.  It'll be infatuation at first charmin' butt wag!

New counselor, new model

I fired my counselor and my psychiatrist.  About two or three weeks ago, I found another and made the arrangements for my GP/CRNP to take over the supervision of my medications.  This is one of the major things going on in my life.

See, the most effective counselor I ever had was promoted to a different program in December 04.  So in January 05, I began to see a new counselor at the same center.  About a month ago, I realized that she was not very effective at all.  I couldn't say that we worked through ANY issues at all in the year that I saw her.

I do feel that I've grown, but I don't feel that she had much to do with that.  I know that I need to work through all sorts of crap and I didn't think she was the one to help with that process.  I did, however, notify her that I did need to work on some things.  She said that we would see each other every week.  That didn't happen.  Three weeks after she said that, I finally went to see the director of the center.

I expressed my needs and how they weren't being met.  I know that the center is the ONLY "option" available for many on Medicare and/or Medicaid.  There are only three counselors available to the adults who need care.  Then my counselor, a week after I left the center's "care" ended up in the hospital (and has not been able to work the last few weeks due to illness).

Although I regret that she is ill, I sure am glad that I found an alternative situation.  See the problem mostly is that licensed professional counselors are not reimbursed by Medicare/Medicaid, unless they work within a clinic setting.  If the LPCs are in private practice, they won't get reimbursed, so they can't accept that sort of insurance (because it won't pay).  There has been pending legislature being kicked around for quite some time.

Fortunately, I found a counselor who accepted me as a client, self-pay, on a reduced rate.  She is very professional, maintains her boundaries, while still being reasonably accessible to her clients.  She cares about the well-being of her clients and doesn't regard this merely as a job, but as a true calling and blessing.

We went over the goals and expectations I have and the rights and responsibilities that we each have.  She uses the Internal Family Systems Model, developed by Dick Schwartz.  We had one full session, but I had spoken with her extensively before that to cover all the formalities.

I visited the IFS web-site.  Reading and reviewing the model helped me to understand how the model works and how she will be using the model.  That way, we were able to begin work right away.

It's hard.  It's good.   It exhausts me.  It makes me nervous, because it's scary stuff that I am dealing with.  But I am confident in this counselor's abilities and motivations.  Since she does check in with me, and encourage me to let her know what is going on, how I feel, are we going at a good pace or too fast, do I need to take a break, can I keep going, etc.; I feel that this is a good fit, all the way around.

So, that's the deal.  The big thing that is the main focus of my life at the moment.  Cuz, I gotta get through this.

home, sweet home?

So, I am hoping to reclaim my home.  I live in a single-wide, older trailer.  It is not the ideal place to house 3 dogs.  I am hoping that now I will have just Shaddow.  She sheds enough for all the dogs I'd ever want, but other than that, she is very low-maintenance.

I need to scrub all my floors, moving the furniture to do so.  I'm thinking of it as the most thurough spring cleaning I plan to do.  I washed all my curtains and drapes.  I need to rehang them.

I also need to clean all of my rugs, completely.  A good beating and sweeping is called for.  Then too, I need to do something with the one that I haven't washed yet.  Using my own washing machine is not the answer.  Perhaps I can take it to the laundromat and load it up in the big ol industrial frontloader.

I don't think that I will get to it all this week, but this month would be nice.  I also need to get going through all the NAMI stuff that's been piled up and get to work with the whole promoting the support groups.  Next Saturday, I'm doing a presentation.

Then, maybe my home will feel more like home.  Maybe then I will enjoy being there.  Maybe then I can live in my home and feel like it truly is home.

Doggie Situation

Well, one of the minor things that I've been trying to deal with is that I am beginning to hate my home.  Why?  Cuz it doesn't feel like home.

A few months ago, I took up the rugs and piled them in my bedroom.  Mostly cuz Ace (my boston terrier) has a spastic colon and went indiscriminantly here and there.  His pooh even blended in with the tan and beige in the patterns in my mostly maroon and green rugs.

I got tired of cleaning the rugs, so I took them up.  However, my house started to smell.  I would clean up the messes and tried to air out the place but it didn't seem to help so much.

All the rain led to wet dog smell and mud tracked throughout.  I began to realize that I was not spending the time or giving the attention that my three pups deserved.  So I decided to see if I couldn't place the two little ones.

Shaddow is MY baby.  She is the best, most laid-back, easy to care for, low maintenance (like me!) dog ever.  She's sweet and gentle.  And I've had her since she was 2 months and she is now 4 and a half years old.  So, I am keeping her.

Ziggee is the rat-cha.  I thought I found him a home.  He has been staying with my friend for a week now.  But she has fibro and may not keep him as she find it hard to take him on his walks at times.  So, I may have to find another home for him.

Ace is my Boston Terrier.  A few potential placements fell through.  So today, I thought I was going to surrender him to the human society.

But as I pulled up, a volunteer was speechless.  She was delighted with Ace.  She took him.  I gave her my number and all sorts of info about Ace.

So, even though I didn't want to give my pups away, they deserve more love and attention than I can give right now.  It is times like this that I think that I wouldn't be able to be a mom, if I can't even take care of the pups properly.

Flying by, in the blink of an eye

I'm having a rough time dealing with some old stuff, some new stuff, and some blue stuff.  At least none of it is borrowed and no, I'm not getting married.  For those of you who have been following my journal, my apologies, but I just can't seem to get much of anything together right now.

Proverbs ~~ a word to the wise

Man who runs in front of car gets tired.
Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.
Man who walks through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok.
Man who scratches ass, shouldn't bite nails.
Man who eats many prunes, gets good run for money.
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls does not walk.
Man who fights with wife all day, gets no peace at night.
Man who drives like hell, is bound to get there.
Man who stands on toilet, is high on pot.
Man who lives in glass house, should change in basement.
Man who farts in church, sits in own pew.
Man who fishes in another's well, gets crabs.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
It takes many nails to build a crib, but only one screw to fill it.

(none of these are due to my original thoughts, just passing the chucklicious thoughts on)

skived it...from whom or where, i dunno...but an old good one

This makes me giggle, snicker, snort, and guffaw.
Hope you get a chuckle or two, too!

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied,
"When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit,
I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.
If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass,
he found the following note on the door:

 
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as
Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,
don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said,
"Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me".
12)The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry".
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not:
Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's
not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

break, schmeak

What break?!?

I was thinking I needed a break this month, so that burn out wouldn't scorch me.  HA!  Didn't happen.  I won't go into details about what all happened, other than to say that I am really glad that I didn't try to maintain NAMI's meetings on top of everything else.

My guy did make it down this weekend and he had today off from school and work, so he is here today too!!  Although, he is slaving away, reading articles, preparing power-point (tm) presentations, and hard at work as usual, in some form or another.  But we did get to spend more time (together) than usual this weekend.

I think that I am going to see if I can set the start-up of the support meetings for April.  Then take March as the time to do the behind-the-scenes stuff.  Also, I am thinking about dropping the women's meetings, and just going with the general meetings.  AND I am thinking about cutting back on doing meetings every week in both towns, to doing meetings only on the 2nd and 4th Thursdays (or maybe even just having one meeting per month per town).

Any comments, suggestions, questions, feedback, input, advice, etc.; please feel free to comment or email me!!!

Valentine's Day

"And now I show you the most excellent way...

LOVE"

my friend, such a dear

Friday, I spent some time with my friend whose father had died last Sunday.  She is doing much better than she is giving herself credit for.  She is going through a range of emotions but is accepting all those feelings.

Her father had told her that after she grieves, then she must go on.  She spoke at the funeral on Saturday and I think she is strong.  She knows that she will have rough moments ahead, but is accepting of that, too.

I am so glad to know her.

Baby, it's cold outside...

...and wet, and muddy, and miserable...

I didn't set foot outside the door today.  My friend was expecting me in town.  I called her to let her know that I was not going to venture out.  She was actually going to call me and tell me not to come out in this awful weather.

My dogs are hating it.  They don't want to go out, not even to relieve themselves.  Then they track mud in.  They can't help it.

My entire yard and parking area is swampy, murky, mucky mud.  The sky was a solid heavy whitish gray.  The bare trees are standing stark, shiny wet.

I've been running both the gas and the electric heaters.  It's still drafty in here.  Which stands to reason, because it's an older trailer.

I am not terribly fond of this time of year.  But if it's what I need to get through to get to the nicer, more pleasant areas of spring, well then there is no getting around it, right?  Hope your winter is coming to an end too.

Yet another example of my gracelessness...

Ya know how sometimes when ya do something dumb, and no one else is around to witness it; ya could keep it to yourself, but noooooooooooo, ya gotta share it with the world?

OK, so maybe YOU don't do that.  But I do.

My garbage really needed to be taken out.  So I did.  In the dark.  In the rain.  Alone.  (gee, I hear echos of Hemingway) sigh.

I was fine.  Went all the way out to the can, next to the mailbox, by the dirt (ahem, muddy) road.  Came back to the car.  There the problems began.

I unlocked the driver's door.  And the door refused to open.  (there, see, I am stressed when I begin to attribute human willful characteristics to inanimate objects)  So I wrenched on it awhile, before realizing, d'uhm, debbie, d'uhm, there are four freaking doors, go around and unlock the passenger's door and unlock the rest.

So, I go around to the other side (like the chicken, sorta).  Only I step in a muddy hole and twist my ankle and land in the cold mud.  Which promptly soaked through my skirt, my slip, my underwear (the virginal white ones with some sort of non-existent flowers that are reminiscent of childish daisies with purple petals and blue centers), splashing mud up and INSIDE my kick-ass mid-calf doe-skin boots.  Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.  I exclaimed, as I stood up.

I did what I went out to do.  I came in and assessed the damage.  Then I cleaned the boots as best I could.  I trashed the ruined nylons and muddy panties (coulda washed em, but I hate purple anyway).  I washed the black slip cuz I need to wear it tomorrow (unless I want to be very indecently inappropriate at my friend's father's funeral--oh, yeah, give em something to talk about, why don't I?).  And climbed into my jammies my friend sent me from AL for my birthday.

My birthday suit (ahem, the material one, sillies) is red fleece with footies.  It resembles a baby's sleepwear.  With a zipper and everything.  I haven't worn them before, but I figured tonight is cold, wet, miserable.  Perfect.

Then, I discovered that there is a reason that not many folks besides small children wear these things.  Cuz they wear diapers.  These things are sorta tricky to shed when in a rush to use the potty.

sigh.

another lesson learned.

(whistling)

big decision

Yesterday, I made a rather rough decision.  Since I made it, though, I have felt sooooooooo much better.  Already, the tension is easing from my body and brain.

I cancelled the meetings for this month.  I'm burning out.  I need a break.

So, I'm getting one.

On a more serious note...

Long-time, faithful readers know that I have a dear friend whose father has been ill.  My friend has already dealt with more in her 30 years than some do in an entire life-time.  She's a very very smart, compassionate, witty woman.

She has had brain cancer.  They removed most of the tumor, but she has had a rough time with the chemo and the after-effects.  Some of those include having seizures periodically, a frustratingly shoddy memory, tiring at an alarming rate.

After taking care of her mother for most of her own high-school and college years, she made the heart-wrenching decision to place her mom in a nursing home where she now is in the late stages of dementia.  She barely recognizes my friend, her own daughter.  So, for the last several years, it has been my friend and her father.

Until Sunday morning, that is.  The cancer finally took the man's life.  He died at home, which is what he wanted.  He slipped through the cracks and crevices of the VA, not receiving adequate treatment, including pain-medication.

His finally days were awful.  He was tormented, in horrible torturous pain.  The passing was not peaceful.

My friend and her father both cried out for the end to be swift.  Sadly, it was not as fast as they would have liked.  However, he is gone.  My friend was alone with him when he did burst out of this world.

She is in profound shock, numb, hating to awake each day to face reality.  My heart aches for her and my fondest wish is that when she can, she will reach out and accept help instead of maintaining stoic facade of strength and stone.  She is so heart-sore.

I ask that you pray, send warm thoughts and wishes, do whatever it is you do, but please, please, keep her in mind.  Thank you.

me and my buddy, Phil

Yeah, so, I'm from PA.  That means I got to thinking about Phil's big day.  Punxsutawney has been Phil's home for years.  They gear up every February 2nd and have a big ol' smashing time.

'Course, ya know, that could be alotta performance pressure.  The dude is pretty laid back though, no sweat.  I feel kinda bad for him sometimes, cuz he gets hauled outta his little home and woken from a sound slumber.  Just so we can know if spring is coming in six weeks or if we have another six weeks of winter.

Now for those of you that protest that that means the same thing, au contraire!  Ya hafta unnerstant the logic of the dutchmen.  Ya know, we throw the cow over the fence some hay and we also throw mama from the train (a kiss, a kiss).

Anyway, what I mean ta say is that even though my home is now MS, I'm thinking 'bout ya, Phil.  Do your duty and then get some serious nappage.  Ya gotta start training for next year.

Oh, and by the way, HAPPY GROUNDHOG DAY, ya'll!!

French phrase

I was just chatting with a friend.  We were talking about languages.  I told her that I remember next to nothing of my high-school French.  In fact, for the longest time, I only remembered one sentence.

"I have a big yellow pencil."

You can imagine how many times THAT came in handy!

Unseasonable

Well, here it is winter, January, but you'd never know by the weather.

Take for instance, today...

Balmy breezes, warm sun, blue skies, birds a-twittering, 70 degrees...

That just ain't right.  I do like this sort of weather, but ya know, like, in the SPRING, maybe April.  Ya know, when it's supposed to be like that.  All this unseasonable weather is screwing with my head.

'Course, it doesn't take much to screw with  my head...she mutters.

Oi vey!

Ooohps, that's not Spanish!!

My mother is taking a Spanish course this semester and I thought it would be fun for us to learn it together.  So, I found a free online tutorial and started.  It does have an audio feature, which is great, but I learn the most from talking with my mom on the phone.

She goes over her notes, I type.  It seems to work well.  But eeek!!

I didn't realize how rough it would be to get back into this learning groove.  I never took Spanish.  But I do have a rudimentary understanding of how to go about learning most western languages.

When I was a freshman in high-school, oh a couple decades ago (eeek!), I took French and Latin.  Lucky for me, I had the same teacher for both.  So if I answered in French during my Latin class, she gave me another chance to get on the same page.

German is one of my majors for my Bachelor's.  I don't speak fluently, because it's difficult to retain a language that you don't use daily, weekly, monthly, oh hell, even yearly.  However, I do have all my books including a kick-ass dictionary!

And as some of you know, there is another language with which I have a more than nodding acquaintance.  Sign is coming back to me as I review the grammar, syntax, semantics, and vocab.  I need to get into contact with the Deaf community here.

Oh, well, and sometimes Americanized English seems to be natural enough for me.  Then there are those times that I can't spell, I start saying one thing and end with another, and when I totally mispronounce what I am saying.  And there are those joyous times in which I simply forget my vocabulary altogether.  That happens more often now than it did say, 5 years ago.  But it happens less than say, 2 years ago.

Getting better and better

In the summer of 03, I was having lots of problems.  I was very frustrated over my inability to think, process information, and retain it.  I was aware that just a few short months before that, I was teaching, a full-time grad student working on my PhD, and doing all that went with it.

But that summer, I could barely comprehend a sentence, let alone a paragraph, let alone read a sociological journal article.  I would open my own texts and try to decipher my own marginal notes and give up, at a loss for what I wrote and what it meant.  I would attempt to write friends email, and I would have to labor over a simple note for hours.  Sometimes, even then, the notes were full of tangents and barely made sense.

Today, I picked up a book of logic puzzles that I've had sitting around for over a year (actually, closer to two, as I think I got it right around Christmas 2003).  I remember that I was so frustrated because I stumbled over them and could not solve any of the puzzles, even the more simplified ones.  So, I held my breath and opened the book.

Well, the first two I solved with minimal efforts.  The next two I did in pen.  No mistakes.  What was even better was that I began to feel that sense of enjoyment I had always associated with challenging my mind and then meeting that challenge.

For those of you who don't know, these logic puzzles are the sort that are word problems related to elimination and multi-tasking.  For instance, matching the five people up with their professions, which yoga class they took, and for how long, based on several clues that are given.

So, one such statement that is helps might say:  "The attorney's karma workshop lasts longer than Will's course (which isn't the shortest)."  Which one of the five people is the attorney?  Well, not Will.  Which also means that Will did not take the karma course.  Also Will did not have the shortest course (which was 6 weeks), meaning that the attorney could not have taken the shortest course nor the next to shortest course (cuz it has to be longer than Will's and he did not take the shortest course).  Will cannot take the longest course either, as the attorney's course is longer than Will's.

That sort of thing is called a logic puzzle.  There are other logic puzzles as well.  It is this type of which I have always been fond (well, except for that timeperiod when I had a hard time functioning at all).

Glad to be back in the running, of some sort, anyway.

yikes!

I didn't realize it was so long since my last entry.


Quick update on some happenings:

I've resumed going to the gym.  I haven't done any of the machines, but do get in the pool.  The lap pool's heater is kaput, so I've been submersing my body in ch-ch-chilly waters.  The benefits are dual.  I get to cool my entire blood flow and that helps the pulled muscles and such.  I also have the pool to myself, basically.  Cuz no one other than a few hardy souls wants to climb into cold water and swim around, spending time in there.  I usually stay in there for a 2 hour block.  Then I visit the hydrotherapy pool and allow the heat to work its wonders.  They did tell me to alternate hot and cold!

I'm teaching some folks some sign.  We started with the food like I stated previously.  I'm throwing in other stuff as it comes up.  We've also been reviewing the alphabet.  The girl wants to invent her own signs, but if we don't use signs that others already use, then they won't know what we are signing!  So, we have to go over that concept alot cuz she is young and doesn't quite grasp it.

My guy is here this weekend (hooray!!).  He has been terribly busy and I understand when he is tied up and bogged down (that sounds like a mafia move) and can't make it here, but I am always glad to see him when he does make it down.  He is sleeping the good sleep (another reference to the mob, gee, I didn't think I had it in me!) and getting some quality rest.  That's one of the things he seems to do here that he doesn't get a chance to do at home.  Cuz my place is restful and peaceful and calm and soooooooooooothing.

Well, my shoulder is lots and lots better.  Sometimes it tweaks and I swear it flashes a pain so bright I gasp.  But it is getting tons better.  I don't think I will do any chest presses, rowing, lateral pull downs, etc. any time real soon, though.

Have a great weekend!

the herky jerky and other spastic movements

I weaned off one drug and am now taking another.  I've moved into the second phase and have one more increase and then we'll set at this level for a month or two.  While I am happy about this, I am encountering a slight oddity.

My left hand tremors, quivers, shakes, and shimmies.  It doesn't do it all the time.  But it looks like I'm having selective withdrawals or something.  It will most likely fade, as I get used to the medication.

That's what They say, anyway.

My gracelessness

As irony would have it, I've been working at the gym and have suffered no injuries.  Then last night, as I was opening the door, my dogs lunged against it, and took my arm with it.  OMG!  I was standing on the steps so unable to move forward, and since I was already twisting the knob, my grip was tight, and so I didn't immediately let go.

So I stumbled into the house and cradled my arm and whimpered like a little girl.  I tentatively waved my fingers.  I tried to grasp the edge of the table and found that wasn't such a great idea.  Little by little, I flexed and rotated my arm.  Eventually, I was able to use the full range of motion although it was a tad bit odd in a place or two.

This morning, along about 4:30, I woke.  My arm from elbow to finger-tips was cold and tingling.  So I thought that hot shower would help.

Nope.

I thought to myself, Self, just what sorta damage did you do?  Then I thought, how do I take care of this?  Is it heat or ice, or both?  Do I keep trying to move it or should I immobilize it?

Somehow I stopped just short of convincing myself that I had a mysterious blood clot that was stopping the flow to my lower arm (hence the cool tingling) and that any minute it could dislodge, flow freely, and kill me.  No one has ever accused me of having no imagination.

So, I drove myself to the ER.  They poked.  They prodded.  Then, They pulled.

I saw stars, bright pretty colors, dancing swirling spots, and broke out into a sweat that rivaled that of any muggy mid-summer Mississippi night.

My arm twinged, my shoulder twanged, my collar bone shifted (well, ok, it didn't) and viola!  Proof that all the King's Men can indeed put Humpty together again (but only when a few nurses lend their expertise).

Then They bound me up into a sling and sent me on my way with an Rx and advice to go see the orthopedic surgeon if it doesn't get to feeling fine.

Later in the day, I went to the gym.  The heater is broke for the lap pool.  This was just PERFECT cuz I was told to soak in cold water or ice the shoulder and elbow.  Then use heat.  And alternate.

20 minutes of submersion to the neck and moving my arms about in frigid water (I'd like to note here that I was the only person braving the lap pool) later, I climbed from the polar waters and headed over to the warm hydro therapy pool.  That was sooooo nice.

Then, for good measure, I dipped into the whirlpool.  Ahhh, pure bliss.

Oh, and the arm does feel better, sore, but better.

Overboard

So I go to the gym, decide to do my swimming first and then the machines (cuz I gotta do the machines, it's Wed and I do them Mon, Wed, and Fri).  When I say "swimming", I mean moving in the water.  Because, as odd as this might sound, I don't know how to really swim.

I can do a sort of modified doggie-paddle (I learned it from watching Shaddow, my black lab) and a bizarre form of a side-stroke.  Mostly though I flounder and end up snorting water and hacking to breathe.  That's what happens when you never take lessons, or at least that's MY story, and of course, I'm sticking to it.

I might be able to take swim classes, but they fill up fast and no one seems to be sure if they are going to continue offering them after the next 8 weeks (which are already filled).  So anyway, I can float on my back.  And if I absolutely, positively had to, I could probably get from point A to point B using some weird combination of moves.

On Tuesday and Thursday there is a water workout that is pretty good.  So, I thought I'd do some of that on my own today.  No one else was in the lap pool and I got so caught up in what I was doing that I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings.  I didn't realize that I'd been doing my own workout for an hour til a few folks started to join me in the pool.

I decided to join in with the water workout class that was being offered (instead of climbing into the whirlpool).  SO, that meant that I did water workout for two straight hours.  I did tire toward the end and start to flag a bit.

After a brief dip in the whirlpool (aaaaaaaahhhhhhh), I dressed in my shorts and t-shirt, grabbed my towel, water, and workout sheet (cuz I can't remember all the settings for the machines) and headed out to the gym area.  Even though I had been swimming, I opted for warming up on the recumbent bike.

Again, I went a tad bit overboard.  See, I wanted to finish the book I was reading and so I wasn't paying attention to time.  30 minutes later, I realized I was sweating profusely and was sufficiently warmed up.

Then I worked my way around the 8 machines I do.  There was only one I had some problems with, the lateral pull-down.  I think it might have been because of having worked those muscles in the pool so much.  I was able to add some reps to some machines, but I didn't increase any weights.

Oh!  By the way, I weighed myself yesterday...since the holidays, I've lost 10 pounds.  I know that it is due to the exercise and improved diet.  I just hope that I don't lose motivation.

Fruits and Veggies

My friend home-schools her daughter, who is six.  She asked if I would work with her daughter on sign language.  I have tons of material and access to even more.

I figured if we could start with fingerspelling then move onto vocabulary groups, that might be the best way to approach it.  So, fruits and vegetables are going to be some of the first signs that we work on.  Their family eats no flesh, although they do eat ice-cream, use butter, and sparingly eat cheese.  The bulk of their diet consists of beans, rice, greens, cornbread, and other good stuff of that nature.

So I thought, fruit, apples, peaches, grapes, potatoes, tomatoes, and such would be applicable and a good place to start.  She can use the signs effectively and that makes it more fun for her.  I think that the little one (who is a little over a year and a half) will learn some too.

Time is flyin'!!

Time is flyin' by...at an alarming rate.  Here it is, half the month of January, shhhhum, gone.

I had a hard time motivating myself to go to the gym today, but I went.  Man, I should have gone way earlier than that!  It was not very crowded, but more than usual for me.  Last week, I had it timed pretty good and went during mid-day, when most folks are working or otherwise occupied.  Today I had to wait for a few of the machines.  It wasn't nearly as bad as the few times I tried to use the university's gym.  But it was still more of an interruption in the flow of my workout than I really wanted.

I am getting it all down pat and increasing some of the reps on the machines.  I've also lengthened the amount of time on the recumbent or new step, warming up.  I was doing it for 10 min, at a moderate level.  But a few times I have gone with 15 minutes.  Maybe next week I will bump it up to 20 min.

Tomorrow is a water work-out class.  I went last Thursday to it and met some nice folks.  They drive in from places that are about half an hour away.  They say that this gym is the nicest.  I believe them.

My guy and I went yesterday.  He said that the gym was not intimidating and the staff seem to be friendly, as do the other members.  It's true too.  I don't feel like I have to work out before I go, like I did at the university.  There are all different body types.  The folks that seem to be used to working out, don't get all huffy with us who are just started.  There is no primping and preening.

I like that.

off to see the wizard

Well, this afternoon, my dear friend came to visit.  Her youngest is about a year and a half.  She climbed inside Ace's cage and shut the door.  She is so adorable, she seemed very content.  But, I went and fished her out.  Ace is not the most hygienically clean critter, especially with a toddling child.

I feel ever so much better!!  So, I'm off to the gym.  Where I get to click my heels and make wishes...

golly gee willikers, ma'am

Several entries posted in a timely fashion, what will I do next?

This morning I woke with a hammering headache and just barely got to the bathroom in time.  I called my friends, who cofacilitate the various groups, to let them know that I didn't think I'd make it out of the house today.  I put the doggies out and climbed back into bed.  Ah sweet slumber, odd dreams, but I did get some serious rest.

I let my pups in to eat then shushed them back out.  It's a nice day, temperature wise, so I am not worried about the lil guys shaking and shivering.  I peeked out at them, they were all romping around with each other, so I know they are happy.

Yesterday, when I went to the doctor's, we changed out one of my meds.  I was rather vociferous about it.  Now this morning, I am really hoping the headache is in no way related.  I don't think it is.

I am really rooting for this new med.  I had been gaining weight at an alarming rate on the other and this one is not supposed to have the same side-effects.  So, I'm hoping that combined with the exercise, the improved eating habits, that the new med will be just the ticket for me.

I wanna....sniffle

I miss my guy.

When I am not feeling well, I get childish and I pout some.  I miss him even more.  It's not that I want him to take care of me, although he does...It's that I just want to know he is around, it comforts me and helps me sleep better.

And this headache is making me feel vulnerable.  sniff.  miss my guy.

Lay me lil head down

Last night, as I was closing up house and getting ready for bed, I stopped to love on all the babies.  Shaddow was sprawled out on her couch, but she was considerate and left room for Ace.  Ziggee was commandering his chair.  All three were chuffing along contentedly.

Ace even went inside his cage and got out his pad (it's just a sheet that's been folded over so it's nice and thick and cushy).  He carried it up to the couch and snuggled down in its folds.  He looked so cute that I didn't want to move him.

Today, I stopped at the gym after I saw the dr.  I did the recumbent bike for 15 minutes.  Then I did all 8 machines that are on my sheet.  Most of them are core strengtheners, all of them are ones I did for PT.  I do 3 sets of 10-15 reps.  The weight depends on the machine.  After I did all that, I marked my sheets and then read for awhile til I cooled down enough to go outside.

It's been unseasonably warm, but I still try to be careful, cuz I don't want to get sick.  When I got home, I made kaluski (pronounced hal-loo-skee)--a dish with onions, cabbage, and noodles.  Then, I laid down for a few.  I didn't sleep, but I did rest.

I am very tired now, think I will make it an early evening.  My head is hurting some.  My left eye and down the back of the left side of my neck are sending shooting pains into my skull.  Not pretty.

So, I think I will go tuck the doggies in....have sweet dreams.

Three dog night

My boston terrier, Ace, is askairt of storms.  He cuddles up close, trying to climb into my armpit and burrow his head into my ribs.  His entire body trembles and those obnoxious flatulent fumes?  Well, they seem to become exponentially worse during these times of terror.

Poor guy.

On the other hand, Shaddow (black lab) and Ziggee (rat-cha) seem to love the outdoors with a passion that does not exclude storms.  Shaddow gets drenched, her coat holding massive amounts of water.  Ziggee just loves Shaddow so much so that he emulates her every habit as much as he possibly can.  But he is just a lil guy and when he gets all excited, he too trembles like my other lil guy (Ace; getcher mind outta the gutter!).

Tonight, all three of them have crowded around my feet.  The office smells like ripe farts, wet doggie fur, and slobberree bones.  Whatta combo, eh?

Tuesday

Yesterday's bloodwork shows that my triglycerides are high.  My mother's is very high too.  So, it's good that I am taking the steps now to work with reducing my excess weight, improve my diet, etc.

Today, I went to the Health Plex.  We covered my orientation, including the results of my assessments.  We visited all the machines that I will be using.  After covering all the information, I felt as though I were ready to get started.

I haven't been in a pool since October 03, and I love the water.  So, I got in my suitie, and slipped into the pool.  Then I checked out the hydrotherapy pool too.  The whirlpool was not ignored either.  Then I treated myself to a bit of sauna time.

When I came home, I ate a salad of spinach, red leaf lettuce, carrots, radishes, green onion, walnut halves, and 3-cheese dressing.  This morning, I ate a breakfast of raison bran cereal.  I feel healthier already.

No, really.  I do.

Update

I got home Wendesday afternoon, scrubbed the top layer of grime off the kitchen floor, swept the rest of the floors free of doggie-tracked mud and leaf-debris, spent oodles of time with the pups, did laundry, unpacked my car, and sorted through over 3 weeks of mail...

Thursday was Group Day.  Support Groups for NAMI, that is.  I also did a ton of errands between the group sessions.  Paid all the bills for this month, found a pet-crate for Ace (we discovered that he loves having his own little space that is not available to the others, and I've found that he messes less, thereby meaning that I can perhaps in the near future put my rugs back in place), and took care of some things for the gym.

Friday, I had my assessment at the gym.  My blood-pressure was elevated, so they didn't want me to do the bike test.  But I did all the others.  Lesson learned:  there is a reason that I should not have caffiene (d'uhm debbie, d'uhm).  Monday I will do a blood-draw and then Tuesday I am scheduled to finish my assessment and be oriented and then I'll be ready to USE the gym.

I also did a few other things, including stopping at the Social Security office for yet another attempt at explaining that what was supposed to happen, didn't, and that my checks are being cut in amount when they are not supposed to...FINALLY, I managed to get some sort of response which included action, forms, and a number and name to call to check progress.  Yea!!!

My fat butt needs the gym, and how!  I weigh in at 232.3 pounds and at 5'6" (and according to my skin-caliber measurements), my BMI is at 36.something.  That's not good, no matter what sort of health conditions I have or don't have.  I figure for my weight, I should be at least 7'2"...

I do feel good about what progress in my "to-do" list has been made.  But there is still so much more.  At least it feels managable, for the most part.

Toodles

Almost home

Happy New Year to all of you!

After spending over 3 weeks away from home, either with my guy or at my folks', I am ready to go home.  I love them, but I am so accustomed to having my own space, my own place, my own routine, my own bed, that I am so ready to be there.  My guy and I drove in from my folks' to his place today.  I'll spend the night here and head back to HOME tomorrow.

I have so much to do...

But mostly, I want to visit with my pupsicles and I want to start going to the Wellness Connection Center.  I really am looking forward to that.  My father took some pix of me, from the front, each side, and the back.  These will serve as my before pix.

I missed my psych appt today (cuz I thought the appt was for the beginning of Feb).  So I called and rescheduled for next Wendesday.  We talked in November about changing me off one drug and using another.  The one drug contributes to my weight gain and retention.  Also, in November we boosted up my level of levoxyl (which is like Synthroid, because I had most of my thyroid removed).

Ten years ago, when I first moved to the South from PA, I gained weight.  About 30 pounds in about 2 years.  Mostly I gained because my eating habits changed (there are more types of foods and most things are deep fried, or with fat added, or both) and my activity level changed.  I walked everywhere in PA and when I moved South, no mo walking for me...too damn hot and humid!!

Then, a few years later, in 2000, my hyperthyroid was not responding to the treatment so surgery was performed.  Most of my thyroid came out.  I went from having a very very high metabolism to dragging butt overnight.  However, my eating habits did not change.  So I gained another 30 pounds.  Prednisone contributed to the problem as well.

But I certainly did not take steps to counter act all that.  I did eventually modify my eating habits, but they could still use help.  But my activity level pretty much remained rather minimal.  After all, as a grad student, I did lots of work on the computer and time would slip by, and I would not remember to get to the track, or use the university's gym.  It also became painful for me to even walk, my lower back would bind tighter and tighter.

Then in the summer of 2003, I began to take several medications.  One is known to cause weight gain and retention.  I gained 40 pounds over the next two years.  I think that I am now over 230 pounds!!

So, hopefully, the combination of activity level being increased (the wellness connection center membership) and changing medication, as well as improving my eating habits, will all work toward helping to tone me up, slim me down, and all that good stuff.  So I plan to post updates here.  And in a few months, if I can get some pix taken at that time, then I'll post before and current (after having been focused on improving my health and image).

So, come join me on the trip!!