well, didja evah?

Ya know how you can do something that is so embarrassing that later you make it worse by being ashamed and apologizing when the other party didn't even think it was a big deal to begin with...?  or maybe it is just me.   muttering, shrugging shoulder, raising one palm and eyebrow.  sigh.

Alright, well then, ya might know how silly, embarrassed, shamed-faced, and regretful I felt on Friday afternoon.  Cuz boy did I pitch a fit at the gym, standing at the front desk in a bathing suit, two towels, and my sandles.  I didn't mean to.  It just kinda get away from me.

I did apologize profusely once I calmed down.  And then I burst into tears, which made as all uncomfortable.  I hate bursting into tears like that.  sigh.  seems sorta childish.

Of course, I would have a full-blown panic attack, complete with hyperventilation and woozy wibble-wobbles (like the weeble-people, remember them?).  I tried to stifle it instead of letting it run its course.  That made me panicky cuz I was panicking, see the vicious cycle here?

Fortunately, I think we got everything squared away.  I apologized, they apologized, they calmed my panic attack and I took my jittery butt to the pool.  I sat on the edge and dangled my legs til I got it all together and then did some relaxing strokes til all the tension was gone.

Upon reflection, I realized that I most likely was beginning to feel the effects of missing several doses of my anti-depressant.  I forgot to get it filled.  So, Saturday I got all my drugs for the month.  And I think I feel much better for the most part.

Now if I could just do something about my allergies.  The pollen is wrecking my sinuses.  Even though I take allergy meds, this time of the year is hard on me.  The post-nasal drippage is tearing up my throat, which in turn is messing with my ears and that is  throwing off my balance.  It's a dizzying experience.