Ya know how you can do something that is so embarrassing that later you make it worse by being ashamed and apologizing when the other party didn't even think it was a big deal to begin with...? or maybe it is just me. muttering, shrugging shoulder, raising one palm and eyebrow. sigh.
Alright, well then, ya might know how silly, embarrassed, shamed-faced,
and regretful I felt on Friday afternoon. Cuz boy did I pitch a
fit at the gym, standing at the front desk in a bathing suit, two
towels, and my sandles. I didn't mean to. It just kinda get
away from me.
I did apologize profusely once I calmed down. And then I burst
into tears, which made as all uncomfortable. I hate bursting into
tears like that. sigh. seems sorta childish.
Of course, I would have a full-blown panic attack, complete with
hyperventilation and woozy wibble-wobbles (like the weeble-people,
remember them?). I tried to stifle it instead of letting it run
its course. That made me panicky cuz I was panicking, see the
vicious cycle here?
Fortunately, I think we got everything squared away. I
apologized, they apologized, they calmed my panic attack and I took my
jittery butt to the pool. I sat on the edge and dangled my legs
til I got it all together and then did some relaxing strokes til all
the tension was gone.
Upon reflection, I realized that I most likely was beginning to feel
the effects of missing several doses of my anti-depressant. I
forgot to get it filled. So, Saturday I got all my drugs for the
month. And I think I feel much better for the most part.
Now if I could just do something about my allergies. The pollen
is wrecking my sinuses. Even though I take allergy meds, this
time of the year is hard on me. The post-nasal drippage is
tearing up my throat, which in turn is messing with my ears and that
is throwing off my balance. It's a dizzying experience.