03 February 2006

Yet another example of my gracelessness...

Ya know how sometimes when ya do something dumb, and no one else is around to witness it; ya could keep it to yourself, but noooooooooooo, ya gotta share it with the world?

OK, so maybe YOU don't do that.  But I do.

My garbage really needed to be taken out.  So I did.  In the dark.  In the rain.  Alone.  (gee, I hear echos of Hemingway) sigh.

I was fine.  Went all the way out to the can, next to the mailbox, by the dirt (ahem, muddy) road.  Came back to the car.  There the problems began.

I unlocked the driver's door.  And the door refused to open.  (there, see, I am stressed when I begin to attribute human willful characteristics to inanimate objects)  So I wrenched on it awhile, before realizing, d'uhm, debbie, d'uhm, there are four freaking doors, go around and unlock the passenger's door and unlock the rest.

So, I go around to the other side (like the chicken, sorta).  Only I step in a muddy hole and twist my ankle and land in the cold mud.  Which promptly soaked through my skirt, my slip, my underwear (the virginal white ones with some sort of non-existent flowers that are reminiscent of childish daisies with purple petals and blue centers), splashing mud up and INSIDE my kick-ass mid-calf doe-skin boots.  Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.  I exclaimed, as I stood up.

I did what I went out to do.  I came in and assessed the damage.  Then I cleaned the boots as best I could.  I trashed the ruined nylons and muddy panties (coulda washed em, but I hate purple anyway).  I washed the black slip cuz I need to wear it tomorrow (unless I want to be very indecently inappropriate at my friend's father's funeral--oh, yeah, give em something to talk about, why don't I?).  And climbed into my jammies my friend sent me from AL for my birthday.

My birthday suit (ahem, the material one, sillies) is red fleece with footies.  It resembles a baby's sleepwear.  With a zipper and everything.  I haven't worn them before, but I figured tonight is cold, wet, miserable.  Perfect.

Then, I discovered that there is a reason that not many folks besides small children wear these things.  Cuz they wear diapers.  These things are sorta tricky to shed when in a rush to use the potty.


another lesson learned.


1 comment:

  1. poor you; I can imagine the horror of living through all that mud and yuck and then the unpleasantness of having to clean it all up afterwards



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