I'd say in honor of St. Pat's day that I turned the journal green, but that'd be a bald-faced lie. Instead, I turned green, but not in honor of St. Pat's day. Lemmee explain...
I've not been dealing well with stress lately, not even a
smidgeon. So, last night, while attempting to relax at a local
coffee/bakery, I went into overdrive. Lemmee explain...
Shortly before closing time, early, ya know, spring break hours (don't
ask, I too would have thought they'd be open later, but alas, no); a
police car with flashing lights (did I mention strobe lights can cause
seizure-like activity in me? no? well, yet another factoid
for ya to store away) zipped into the parking lot. Lemme
Seems some dork called in a bomb threat to the neighboring Pizza Hut
(what the fuss?!?). So the police, ambulance, fire dept, EMTs,
and miscellaneous other folks that were terribly excited flocked to the
scene of the potential problem. So, we all were evacuated.
After packing my computer in my car, I called the two young employees
over to me (further away from the alleged bomb-site). I asked if
either had cell phones. They both eagerly produced them. I
said that although I didn't see media, that did not mean much, and just
on the off-chance that the news flashed this sensational event across
the air-waves, perhaps the kids should call their folks.
Then, call the owners of the store. No one knew their
number. I, however, being the handy-dandy person I am, produced a
phone book (doesn't everyone carry on around in the trunk of their
car? no? well, yet another factoid to store in yer
heads). The owners' line was busy (probably on the web, dial-up,
no other option when you live on cow poke road, I guess).
However, the excitement seemed to be dying down, folks were either
re-entering the stores or driving off to spread the excitement of the
evening. I went back in with the kids, and helped to straighten
some of the mess of the mad dash to exit. I offered to stay til
the owners did show (by now they reached them). They assured me
that they were ok, plus the owners were on their way, and the girl's
daddy showed up to calm her (it was her first bomb-threat).
I drove to my friend's house because I had called her to let her know
that I was OK (cuz it is, after all, all about me) and to let her know
that thebomb-threat seemed to be just that, a threat. I got to
her place and checked my voice-mail, cuz I had signed off IMs rather
abruptly with two friends, who do know my number, as we were friends in
actuality before the virtual connection was made. That's when my
head began to throb moreso, my heart began to race, my skin got all
sweaty and slick, and I got so dizzy that passing out seemed like a
good option (but I never seem to be able to do that). Lemmee
See, I've been having a run-around-about with the propane folks.
Mostly miscommunication, nothing that cannot be fixed. But I'm
just so sick of dealing with this shit. And there was a message
on the voice-mail pertaining to that whole SNAFU.
Then, I tried to make an outgoing long distance call on my friend's
line, but I had forgotten that her land-line is local only. Silly
me. And I really wanted to call Scott, my security-blanket...I
mean, my boyfriend. She was using her cell.
No problem, I thought, I'd sit and wait. When she came in the
room, she looked at me and got very concerned. I never had a
full-blown panic attack around her before. It's not pretty to
witness. At least I wasn't mumbling mantras to myself (sometimes
I do that to calm the inner-me), that woulda scared the holy-bejesus
No, instead she thought I was having a heart-attack, cuz I was pale,
sweating, jittery, breathing rapidly and shallow, and not very
coherent. Plus to there was the racing pulse, contracted eyes,
and general weakness. My jaw did hurt, but that was tension, and
in my state I was not thinking too clearly so missed the connection as
to why she was asking (sillee me).
At least she did not call the ambulance (they could have responded
really really quickly, they were only down the road a mile or so, at
the bomb-threat scene). That would have heightened my
panic. She did remember that I sometimes have panic attacks and
cleared the couch so I could sprawl. She got me a blanket.
She talked to me. She turned out the lights.
I went to sleep. That's one of the best things to do when I am
coming out of a panic attack. I am very tired, drained. And
driving is not a good option at a time like that. I know this
from past experience, but that's another story.
I woke just before 4am. Decided that I ought to get home while I
can. I wrote a note, headed home, climbed in the shower, dressed
in my guy's pjs (when in a pinch, take comfort where ya can), took some
meds, and decided that since my brain was racing along, I'd post an
So, how was your evening?