Some,nights, I catch the paid advertisements. Why? Well, I'm a bit of a sap for the Time-Life/Warner Collections. I mean, c'mon now, 165 Soft Rock hits? Who doesn't love reliving their own sad, sad take on the 80s? And those 210 Sounds of the SOoooooooooul (with the Bonus Smooth Midnight Sounds of Jazz) just make ya wanna sex yourself up, don't they? And oh oh and what about the Doobie Brothers jamming out China Grove on the Southern Rock Collection? After all, where oh where else could you find all the unforgettable hits of Bread, Donovan, Air Supply, Billy Joel, Aaron Neville, Smoky Robinson, Bonnie Tyler, Linda Ronstadt, America, Peter Frampton, Seals and Croft and oh so many more? Surely not in the retail stores! Don't go looking for this collection at your local walmartZ cuz you won't find it there! AND each collection comes with complete liner notes, and WAIT if you order now, in the next six minutes we will rush you the greatest collection of Neal Diamond BUT wait, order now within the next four minutes with your credit card and checking route numbers and we will include a complete set of ginsu knives and OH MY FRIGGEN GOD if you call now, in the next two minutes with your credit card numbers and your checking/savings account numbers and passwords and include the deed for your property and your next 12 paychecks, we will allow you to order all of this for 17 easy payments of only $15.99 and one difficult payment of $33.33 (and a third). You won't find a deal like this just anywhere!
The thing is, I like all that sappy song stuff. I can
sing 9 out of 10 of the songs they sample, no matter which collection
is being featured. And then I get "I've been waaaaiting for a
girllllllllll like YOU to come into my liiiiiiiiiife....YES, waiTING
for a girl like you...." stuck in my head.