Internal Self-Talk

thanks for the support peoples!!

While I am not going to cover every aspect of what is covered in the aforementioned book, I do want to focus on a few things that I think are worth mentioning here.  One of the areas of which I have become more mindful within the last few years, has been challenging my faulty thinking with regards to my internal dialog.  Self-talk is something that is so present in us that most times we are rather unaware of those ingrained messages that we are telling ourselves with endless persistence.

I liked the way that McGraw spoke about challenging faulty thinking.  Even tho these are concepts with which I am familiar, it is still good to rethink them; cuz there is always something that I see in a different way.  Realizing that, I wanted to share them with you here.

Challenging faulty thinking may mean catching yourself chiding you and asking if this is true?  Does it serve your best interest to engage in this particular dialog?  Does this internal dialog advance and protect your health?  Is this internal dialog help you achieve whatever your goal is?

While I am not suggesting that we can easily shift our self-talk from scolding depressing degrading claims; I do think that sometimes I can catch myself thinking something and thing, wait a second, is that true?  If I am thinking I am such a fat, lazy, slob and I never will be anything other than fat, lazy, and slobbish; then I know that I can challenge myself realistically on those claims.  I am overweight, not obese.  I am not lazy, I do move about.  I could exercise more, but that does not mean that I am lazy.  My floors could be cleaner, but I am not a slob.  I may be disgusted with myself right now, but that does not make me fat, lazy, or a slob.  And I know that.  I really do.  Sometimes I am really down on myself and may start to tell myself that how I am feeling at that particular moment, is how I really am fact am, all the time.  And it simply is not true.  It doesn't mean that I will stop calling myself these things, or that I will never do so again.  What it means is that I am aware of myself doing that sometimes and can catch myself and be a little more realistic.  I'm not saying there is no room for improvement (far from it!), but I am saying that it isn't an either/or situation.  I'm not a toggle switch, I'm not either on or off.  Just because there are things about me that are lax, doesn't mean that I am lazy.

In the same way, I tend to ruminate.  I play over and over again certain sorts of thought patterns and they become more ingrained into the way that I think.  Sometimes, if I catch myself being self-defeating, I can qualify those statements.  Part of me insists that I should go to the gym every day and when I am not there, then walk for miles and miles.  Ok.  I know that thinking like that, telling myself that is going against my self-interest.  It's setting me up for failure because the first day I miss going to the gym, I'm more likely to think, "see there?!?  what's the use?  i can't even keep with my own self-imposed schedule!!" and then be likely not to go the next day.  So, most of me reasons that while I may feel like I have to go to the gym every day, the more realistic truth is that I probably won't and so maybe I should shoot for a goal that is more attainable.  It is still an improvement to go to the gym three times per week, instead of every day.  And I will be more likely to do that.  So, that may be more in keeping with my self-interest; having some realistic ideas in mind instead of rather extreme notions.

You get the idea.  I try to catch the faulty thinking and challenge myself to be more realistic, to be more moderate.  I think that way I can still make improvements, and not feel that I must set off running when I haven't yet mastered walking.