31 January 2008

and I would know this why?

Every now and then, I realize that I must have given the wrong impression that somehow I am an authority on ev.ree.thing.  I don't mean to do that.  I really don't.  I do think about lots of things, and often will offer explanations based on what I've read, what I've experienced, and what I think.  Usually, I think I make that it clear that these are merely my opinions.  It's nice to be asked my thoughts, and to be able to discuss ideas.  And I admit that I do like being consulted, to think that my opinion matters to someone; well, I do like that others value me and my thoughts like that.

Sometimes I am reminded that it's gone to far.

Like when my guy asked me about the mechanism of clutches and gears while we were driving.  Like when he asked me about the jet propulsion workings of speed boats versus outboard motors, versus pontoon boats.  Like when my friend calls me in a dither because her sink's kitchen faucet fell off and water is spraying everywhere.  Like when a stranger turns toward me in the doctor's office to ask me about the best time to buy gas.

Usually, I offer an opinion.  Sometimes, it is rather informed.  And sometimes it is rather tentative.  But I always explain why I think what I do.  Hopefully that does make it clear that it is an opinion, not an unquestionable authoritative supposition that carries all the weight of certainty.

Sometimes, well sometimes, I wanna ask, "so yeah, uhm, and I would know this why?"  But I don't, because most times, I do have an explanation.  Waving my hands about to illustrate gear sizes and how they mesh; explain that water hates a vacuum and so will rush to fill void space; instruct her to first turn the water valve off under the sink; and I'd say that you might want to fill your gas tank in the evenings or the mornings, not during the heat of the day when the gas has expanded the most.

In response to the pretentiously rude man who demanded to know where he can find a book about disciplining your spoiled teen, I told him after showing him where the parenting books are that if he had further questions, I recommend asking an employee because fellow customers might not always be so accommodating.

Excuse me, but do I have "smart-ass" stamped on my forehead in fluorescent lime green?


  1. I'm an expert on exactly nothing useful.  Oh well.  That's what the yellow pages are for.


  2. Funny...........loved it!   Anne    

  3. It might not be green ... I'd think it would be pink ... *
    smart ass* that is.  


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