blah blah blah d'blah, sigh, blech

some days, it is a struggle to get up, out of bed, to contemplate taking a shower, (usually if i can get so far as the bathroom, bushing my teeth is priority), getting dressed is a choir, let alone doing anything constructive.

some days are like that.

i have fewer of those days, these days.

every day was like that for the better part of two years.  and i gave up on trying to explain to friends and family that pulling myself up by my bootstraps wasn't the answer, namely cuz i wasn't wearing them.  i stopped trying to explain that taking a walk was exhausting not invigorating.  I gave up on trying to find the words to describe how I was feeling, mentally, physically, emotionally.

now, i co-facilitate support groups for those with mental illnesses and brain disorders.  i advocate when and where possible for those who feel helpless and voiceless.  i educate various groups, including those who are mental health care providers.

and yet...

when it comes to friends and family, i've given up trying to explain, advocate, etc.  i think that's sad and wrong.  one of these days, i'll be brave enough, coherent enough to talk to them and explain with clarity.

one of these days.

not today.