This morning, I checked my messages and my doc was calling to say that one of the reasons I am feeling sorta sluggish and gained EVEN more weight was because she needs to up my dosage of levoxyl (synthroid, the stuff your thyroid makes to help you do many things, not the least of which is to metabolize your rates a bit). So, she says, would I please return her call and tell her which pharmacy I use. She'll call it in.
I call the doc back. Realizing she's most likely in with a patient, I
figure I'll leave a simply message that the simply receptionist can
grasp. There I go thinking again.
Recep: Hello, such and such a clinic, kinahhepya?
me, speaking slowly, clearly "e nounc e ating": hello. I am returning
Jayne Hare's call. I want to leave a message for her. My name is
her: wait! are you a pt here?
me: yes, i see jayne hare.
her: ok, name? your's i mean.
me: debra ........(I spell my last name after saying it, with a pause
after every 3 letters. i repeat the name, then the spelling again.
experience has taught me that people here add extra letters that don't
even vaguely belong and substitute other letters where they see
fit...say an "n" for an "m"...that's why i go nice, slow, clear,
repeat. sometimes it does the trick, sometimes it does not)
her: k, what's the message? WAIT! is it Debra Kaye?
me: yes, yes it is. (i know that I am the only one with my last name
in the entire region, not just this county. let alone the ONE with the
first name debra to go with it...but apparently ascertaining my middle
name is of key importance)
her: k, what was the message?
me: "the drug store I use is ............"
me: WAIT! got my number?
her: yes it's on caller id and on the computer records...
At which point I wonder if perhaps caller id has the SPELLING of my
NAME (oh, hell just my name would suffice, cuz i know the phone company
has it right, we made real sure of that in the very beginning. me, cuz
i wanted to be listed right. them cuz they like to be able to go after
ya to collect their money and it helps if they have as much correct
info as possible, like your name, in all its gloriously correct
spelling)...and how much of this driveling sniveling assinine routine
is to test my sanity's bounds...which is why i have counseling today,
to check and see how my sanity is...cuz i wanna make sure that i
haven't been losing it or misplacing it or leaving home without it...
i've been known to do that before, leaving it in my other hat. boy,
oh, boy, what a day that makes for...sometimes, i leave it in the car
at night, that way it's there when i go somewhere the next day...
kinda like the teacher asking if you all have your thinking caps
on....i picture my sanity as a skintight oldfashioned swimsuit cap.
One of those thick rubber ones seen in old synchronized-swimming films.
Mine is a lovely shade of aquamarine. sometimes it blends.