1,500 (& sharing the stew-pit-titty w/ya'll, again)

Thanks folks, for the hits.  I just keep bouncing back, as Paul Little, the walking dude who takes in the aurora's whilst on vacation (I think that's what he does, along with lots of other stuff) inadvertedly pointed out.  Cuz I think each time I enter a post, or post an entry, or whatever, that counts at least as one hit, if not more.  So lots of these hits are mine, and ya know, that doesn't really bother me but boy I sure do like the visits, the comments, the little links that take me to other fun, interesting, and ssaaaweeeet places.

When I woke up this morning, I intended that I would drive into town.  Which I did.  I pulled into a Chinese restaurant which I hadn't been to in a long time, for their lunch buffet.  Since I was early, I figured it would be fresh.  Which, it was.

The weird thing was there was ONE available parking space.  It was right next to a Mississippi State Hwy Trooper's vehicle.  So, I gulped and sweating profusely, eeeeeeeaased my way in.  I opened my door carefully, got myself together with my money, my book, and slammed the door shut.

On my seat belt.

Dumb debbie, dumb.

So I thought, no problem, really.  I searched all my pockets, around, and under the car for my keys.  This is a bigger problem.

Dumb debbie, real dumb.

So, couldn't shut the door cuz it was half caught on the metal catch of the selt belt, and I couldn't open it for the same reason.  I couldn't unlock it, cuz evidently my keys were INSIDE the car.  Oh smack.

I looked.  They weren't in the ignition.  So I went in the restaurant to eat, think, and read.  I also heard the squawk of the trooper's radio.  So I tracked him down.  In the restaurant.  I excused myself and said....

"hi, I was looking for you.  A man in uniform.  Driving that car.  Parked out there."  waving in the direction of the parking-lot.  I have a real odd history with the law-enforcement here in this county, it's funny, sometime I'll tell you about it, but not now.  But in short, as a result of said history, I speak in sentence fragments with lots of deep breaths inbetween.

So basically, either you think I'm asthmatic, hyperventilating, or that I'm in crisis needing a police officer.

He said:  do you need help?

I said:  no, yes, but no.  I mean.  I locked my keys in the car.  (breath, breath, breath)   A friend is coming.  I'll call my landlords.  Extra set, at the house.  (breath, breath) and ahhhhh....I parked next to you.

He said:  Ma'am, did you hit my car?

I sighed, "no."  And wilted, and wiped sweat off my brow cuz all of a sudden I was really really hot.  "I just wanted you to know, in case..."  (trying to think of why I wanted him to know) "you saw the door is cracked, can't close, won't open, cuz I locked the keys in the car"

His companion was eyeing me strangely.  The trooper was eyeing me strangely.  Hell, I was eyeing me strangely.

The trooper said, very soothingly, "you're sure you have assistance coming to help you?"

"OH, yes," I gushed and then began to cry.  Oh cripes.  No, no, I'm alright, I sobbed and went back to my seat.

So, my friend comes to get me.  I wait til my landlord gets home.  I call her.  She tells me to catch a ride home with her husband.  He will let me in my home.  I can catch a ride in with her in the morning.

See?  All better.

Sniff.