It's very rare that I actually awake feeling REFRESHED and that I have had ENOUGH QUALITY sleep that I can face the day without really wanting to ignore any and all other commitments, appointments, or even the phone (the ringer is perpetually "off" in my home). So, when I woke up at 7am this morning (on my own, without the alarm) feeling bright eyed and bushy tailed, I had to do some self-monitoring for a moment. After I got dressed that is, cuz dudes! it was less than 30 degrees this morning....
First off, I know some of you might be like, "7 is early for her?!"
Well, yes, it is. I need solid sleep and very rarely get it. I'm
seeing one doc today and another next week, so I hope to get that
straightened out. Cuz sleep hygiene is such an important thing. Do ya
think I have been reading one too many medical journal articles when I
start using lingo like "sleep hygiene"?
Yeah, me too.
Second, I am in an almost constant-mode of self-monitor. It makes me
feel better to think that I am staying in touch with myself enough to
know what's going on with my various systems. In a way that sounds
sorta new-agey but with a mechanical twist.
But, ya might not realize this (so, I'm telling ya), but for some
folks, that extra happy, weeeeeeeee phase of bipolarism known as mania,
is the absolute BEST...they crave it. Me? I am scared of it. Rather,
I should say, I have a healthy respect for knowing that the state of
mania and all it's zippittee-ness is extremely hazardous to me and my
health, even my sanity.
So, while it might seem that thinking, hm, is this ok to be this perky?
might seem to be odd for some; it's the right thing for ME to do for
myself. But on the downside, I have been known to go too far with the
whole self-monitoring thing....I told my therapist that I know I need
"help" when I've began to be wary of being happy. Cuz, dude, life is
enjoyable and those happy times are GOOD things...
I just need to remember not to get too swept up and carried away in them...