10 October 2005

blah blah blah d'blah, sigh, blech

some days, it is a struggle to get up, out of bed, to contemplate taking a shower, (usually if i can get so far as the bathroom, bushing my teeth is priority), getting dressed is a choir, let alone doing anything constructive.

some days are like that.

i have fewer of those days, these days.

every day was like that for the better part of two years.  and i gave up on trying to explain to friends and family that pulling myself up by my bootstraps wasn't the answer, namely cuz i wasn't wearing them.  i stopped trying to explain that taking a walk was exhausting not invigorating.  I gave up on trying to find the words to describe how I was feeling, mentally, physically, emotionally.

now, i co-facilitate support groups for those with mental illnesses and brain disorders.  i advocate when and where possible for those who feel helpless and voiceless.  i educate various groups, including those who are mental health care providers.

and yet...

when it comes to friends and family, i've given up trying to explain, advocate, etc.  i think that's sad and wrong.  one of these days, i'll be brave enough, coherent enough to talk to them and explain with clarity.

one of these days.

not today.

1 comment:

  1. Wow! Can I relate. I had no idea you were like me!
    I am feeling the same way myself lately and just don't know what to do. I hate to go back on Zoloft. I felt it made me worse. And yet.... I just don't know how to get up some mornings.
    Thanks for the work you are doing for mental health Debra. It's really needed and I'm sure... appreciated.


Thanks for taking the time and effort to let your thoughts be known!