i don't know where to start, cuz there really is no beginning to this thread. it's just woven right into the fabric of life, one episode after another, some sliding and over-lapping. so i should have known better to slam-dunk 40 ounces of dark caffiene...at the time it seemed like a good idea, cuz i was not used to the whole "pre-dawn/being in a public place so early" thing. so i thought caffiene would help.
oh boy WAS that a bad bad bad idea. yes. say it again with me. yes
debra, bad idea. first off, caffiene with my Dx is not a suggested
combo. then there's the idea that the Rxs are a good mix with caffiene
(i very briefly thought of this as i washed down this morning's main
meds with italian dark roast). and then there's the notion that
caffiene is not a good idea on an emp-a-ty tummy.
but, i was so busy doing my thing, that i did not realize that my hands
were shaking. my arms were shaking. my head was a bit spastic, and
then i realized my eyeballs were rattling about in their sockets.
ok, so, i get to the meeting, and realize i forgot to call, notify, and
PICK UP several of the women. smack. the only thing that made it even
somewhat ok was that it allowed us to focus on really giving someone
the help and attention that was needed.
ok, so i'm stuffing envelopes and taping, and stamping, and choosing
pamphlets (cuz very few places really needed all 9 pamphlets). i got
seriously hungry so ate all the wilted celery i had in the car (long
ass, boring story, lets not go into it, k?). so now i'm fidgetee cuz
of the caffiene and the need to hop up and run to the restroom every
my friend's child, who up til now has delighted in me and i am tickled
with her, decided today that she really didn't like me. it's a phase
thing. maybe. so she was crossing her lil 17 month old arms and
pouting and glaring at me. and i had no clue why she was doing that.
i dash out the door, swing by the post office, drop off all these super
stuffed, stamped, taped envelopes. probably pissing the postal people
off cuz i'm sure there is some thing i am SPODA do for bulk stuff. and
drive over to the other meeting.
NO ONE showed up at the other meeting. I was early. as per usual.
and it was getting closer to the time for some of the folks to be
drifting in...and NO ONE was there. while i was sitting there, going
over a few things, making a few lists, glancing at the clock, i began
to tear up.
after waiting around for awhile. i left a message for the admin. and
drove back toward home. sobbing the entire way. i would get things
quieted to a sniffle, then burst into big ol streams dripping off my
chin onto my shirt, which was getting drenched.
i swung by my friend's place, who had taken her father down to jackson
for chemo today. and left a note. and then cried all the way home.
only to find ace had taken off for parts unknown. i went out to finish
working on the fence and somehow he got away. i have a smaller dog
than he, who does not flee, although he could. and i have a bigger dog
than he, who does not flee, but could as well.
and oh! joyous wonders, while i am out fixing the fence....the place i
adopted him from calls to tell me that i am a bad mom (k, they didn't
really say that, it was just implied) and this lady leaves a message
telling me to call her. so i finish the fence and realize, i sat in
poison ivy while fixing the fence. and i sliced my thumb numerous
times, but failed to notice that bright red blood was causing my
fingers to get really sticky.
so i shower and drive over to get ace. he is being held in a chicken
coop (?) behind a trailer that has enough lawn bags overflowing with
beer cans to start a recycling center right there...i get him in the
car, thank the folks for picking him up (right out side my house and
driving him to their place, can you imagine, k, well, think on it).
drive home with a seriously flea ridden, smelly, unhappy boston terrier.
i figure i best return the call to the place i adoped him from, so i
call and they want an explanation and my whole brain tries to jump out
my mouth and what comes out is this "erk" sound. which i covered by
clearing my throat. and all i could think at that precise moment was,
it's days like today, that i think, i so can NOT handle having a life.