My guy sighed, "guess I can't put it off any longer." So we kissed and hugged and wished each other well, completing our farewell til next I see you rituals. I watched his white truck ramble down the dirt road thru the wet dreary grey day, white exhaust trailing as he turned and dwindled out of sight. Finally, I closed the door and set to rights those lil things that restore order, that's my ritual when he leaves. Tidying up the bathroom, picking up any stray socks or damp towels, gathering shoes to dump by the door, and hanging up the forgotten shirt and khakis that he decided not to wear, instead choosing jeans and a Reed's for the long drive to Augusta, Georgia.
Last week was his first of interviews for internships to start next summer and end the following. Monday is Augusta, then Little Rock, Memphis, Knoxville, Charlotte, and even a site in Maine. There are still five places to hear from yet. The interviews stretch through til the end of January, with Match-Day in February.
It isn't the actual interviews that he is reluctant face, it's the long drive, the travels, the turn-right around and make the next appointment; for his life continues to be crammed with all the other activities. He still counsels clients, writes book chapters, directs the other counselors for the campus counseling center. It isn't even any one thing that is wearing him down, it's all of it piled on and no relief in sight. This semester has been very intense and he hasn't been able to relax, to breathe, for more than the occasional afternoon here, with me. I hate to see him this stressed, this worn out; but we both know that he is at a crucial stage of his career, education, and life in general. And it could be oh so much worse. He could not have any of those things and he could not be so busy. He actually has it pretty good.
And we both know it.