30 January 2009

extreme close up of scroochee hands



I've gotten a mixed bag of reactions to the ring. Most folks are very happy for me, and more than a few are surprised at the speed Jerry moves {bluuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrr. damn the man's fast*winks*~but he does have a slow hand, too~she assures, humming Clapton's "wonderful tonight"}. As he says, when ya know, ya know.

For the most part, I've been fairly quiet about it. I did write the snippet here a few days ago. I'd told my mom and a few friends, and oh! my counselor. But I've not been walking around with my hand thrust in the air in front of me, or up by my beaming face, declaring to one and all...."LOOK! SEE!"

In fact, some of my friends don't even know. One of my friends is extremely pissed at the moment, because I didn't rush right to her side and gush the entire story in minute detail. But she's also pissed that I even have Jerry in my life, let alone that he is such a great guy, or that he thinks so much of me. So, either way I'd go, it'd be a no-win situation when it concerns her. It's like, damned if I do, damned if I don't.

I do understand the mixed feelings she may have. On the other hand, I'd've hoped that a friend would be predominantly happy for me, cuz that's part of being a friend. Instead of me trying to figure out which way would be the best way to handle her. She's also pissed cuz I'm not making amends.

Ya know what? I'm thru making amends and apologizing for things that aren't mine to worry about, let alone regret and cringe over. Saying that I'm sorry when I truly am, for my own actions, makes sense; sincere sense. Being sorry because my life is coming together nicely and you feel you're being left behind in some cosmic balance sheet is not an option for me any longer.

It never should have been.

3 comments:

  1. Well said dear one! At the end of the day your the one who has to live with your choices. I'm happy for you simply because in all your emails, here, the past few weeks your beaming. Your like a light that is on the verge of burning out your shining so bright.

    You should never have to explain your happiness to anyone. As for friendship, I'm one of thsoe people that believe if your a friend your still there even when it's not convenient. All of us have choices we have to make with our lives. In the end the only one those choices should matter to, are the one who has to make them.

    In any event however, whatever you should decide to do with your life. I support you! I'm honestly loving seeing this outpouring of joy you have. If anyone was a friend, they would be basking in the warmth of this feeling as well. (Hugs)Indigo

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  2. Well I think the ring is FABULOUS. AC and I have been together for just a hair over a month and we're wearing rings. Hell, how long does love TAKE????
    It's beautiful!
    xo
    MJ

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  3. Well, my love, you are finally, at long last, bringing all those lessons learned with you into each day. Bravo!

    And, pssst....

    I'm exceptionally happy for you!

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Thanks for taking the time and effort to let your thoughts be known!