extreme close up of scroochee hands

I've gotten a mixed bag of reactions to the ring. Most folks are very happy for me, and more than a few are surprised at the speed Jerry moves {bluuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrr. damn the man's fast*winks*~but he does have a slow hand, too~she assures, humming Clapton's "wonderful tonight"}. As he says, when ya know, ya know.

For the most part, I've been fairly quiet about it. I did write the snippet here a few days ago. I'd told my mom and a few friends, and oh! my counselor. But I've not been walking around with my hand thrust in the air in front of me, or up by my beaming face, declaring to one and all...."LOOK! SEE!"

In fact, some of my friends don't even know. One of my friends is extremely pissed at the moment, because I didn't rush right to her side and gush the entire story in minute detail. But she's also pissed that I even have Jerry in my life, let alone that he is such a great guy, or that he thinks so much of me. So, either way I'd go, it'd be a no-win situation when it concerns her. It's like, damned if I do, damned if I don't.

I do understand the mixed feelings she may have. On the other hand, I'd've hoped that a friend would be predominantly happy for me, cuz that's part of being a friend. Instead of me trying to figure out which way would be the best way to handle her. She's also pissed cuz I'm not making amends.

Ya know what? I'm thru making amends and apologizing for things that aren't mine to worry about, let alone regret and cringe over. Saying that I'm sorry when I truly am, for my own actions, makes sense; sincere sense. Being sorry because my life is coming together nicely and you feel you're being left behind in some cosmic balance sheet is not an option for me any longer.

It never should have been.