22 August 2009

cuz we all do it {at least, we all *should*}

about fifteen years ago, i worked at a bookstore. it was one of the best jobs i evah had. the pay sucked {ten cents above minimum, which at that time was about four and a quarter, i think}. but the actual daily tasks were exactly what i needed at that time. and my co~workers were all smashingly fun, we all got along swimmingly well on the work~front.

there were two full~timers {the manager and the assistant manager} and five part~timers. we didn't hire holiday help, just beefed up our own schedules cuz it would have taken more in resources to train help and not worth the trouble, especially given the limited time~frame we'd need an extra person or two. all of us did all the jobs. we all took turns, rotating thru tasks like displays, best~sellers, pricing, inventory, garbage disposal, returns, magazines, vacuuming, etc. that meant that at any given time, you might find the manager dusting shelves while the part~time person ordered new titles. there was no dress~code other than common sense, no uniform, and we abhorred name~tags. we were the smallest of nine stores in our chain, and the only one located in the rural area {buckhorn, pennsylvania is even smaller than catawissa...and frankly, do you know where catawissa is? no, i didn't think so.}; however, our store {friar tuck, how cool of a name is that for a bookstore} had the most customer orders, the highest gross sales, the lowest shrinkage, the lowest turn~over, and the highest net profit. we rocked!

amongst all of us, we were able to cover the entire store's holdings as specialties. the manager loved romance, the assistant manager loved collectibles and children's titles, i liked true~crime/sociology/religions/etc., diana loved sci~fi/fantasy, and so on. however, i liked certain children books, like the mercer meyer titles and my favorite lil kid's book was {well, ok, is} "everybody poops". in fact, i was so thrilled about it that i went home and shared it with my folks and all my {and their} friends. yeah, cuz i'm that much fun.

so earlier, when my mom and i were on the phone, i ended our call somewhat abruptly with "i gotta go poop now" and my mom just took that right in stride. ah, how well she knows me. then i eMailed her the following: hey there, i've been having all sorts of colon/poop'ing issues. so when i think i may go, then i rush happily to the potty and then sit there, disappointed once again to not poop properly. sigh. yeah, cuz i'm that much fun. it was great to talk with you earlier and i hope that you enjoy the rest of the weekend. i'm gonna go get some fiber now. so i can poop. cuz everyone poops. at least, that's what i've heard. i wanna too. love ya, debra

and my mom replied with: by all means...fiber up...it's good to poop

yeah, we have a special relationship. and she calls it like she sees 'em. in fact, she often says, 'dear daughter debra, you sure are fulla shit' and i'm all like 'are my eyes turning brown?' and she's all like 'yeah, well, to know ya is to love ya'. yeah, she knows my shit. and i share my shit with all y'all, ain't i nice that way?

{snickers, i wrote an entire entry on scatology}

sometimes, i can be soOOoooo juvenile.

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