Debra, Duke-Ass of Hazard

what a weekend!  emotional roller coaster does not adequately describe the whole match process!  he fell apart.  i fell apart.  we got it together.  then this morning, they called and he accepted the position in hazard, ky.  it is a severely impoverished area, so i think he will find that he can do lots there that will be very meaningful.  he is going to start his internship on august 18th at Hazard, KY

as it is now, we'd only planned that i would stay here and go visit for an extended visit a few times.  to tell the truth, we really hadn't made any plans at all, because we weren't sure where he would end up.  and if he went to jackson or memphis, i was gonna stay put.

i really don't wanna do anything til this whole thing with my student loans gets squared away.  and i'm all scrambled right now.  i'm so not in a stable place.  i've been having some heart palpitations for the last six or eight weeks.  and my meds aren't working anymore.  i've been way too unstable.

i thought it was normal to have these sorta reactions.  but they are scaring the crap outta me cuz i can't get it under wraps.  anyway, i'm home now and looked up all sorts of stuff about hazard so that i could have some ideas of what was what.

something like this weekend is especially draining.  i'm glad that it turned out the way it did, esp when so much was riding on it.  we literally could not make plans til we knew.  and we couldn't even admit the terrible fear because to do so would have been overwhelming.  i cannot explain it adequately.

anyway, i am home now, and i am tired, and am baking bread to thank my land lord for watching my furrbees whilst i was gone.