oh, so THAT explains it!

Alotta folks jest don unnerstant, how come we have an oil shortage here in our country.  Welp, it's like this, see.  Nobody bothered to check the oil.  We din know we was gettin' low.  Shrug.

But see, there's a reason.  Cuz, our oil is in Alaska, California, coastal Florida, coastal Louisiana, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, and Pennsylvania.  'N' our dipsticks?  Why, they's in DC.