imma claxton fruitcake

ok, i know we've all heard the thousand or so jokes about regifting fruitcake, about how fruitcake lasts forever, about how horrible it is, about how you could use it as a brick for propping your door open in the summer, etc. but here's the thing...i love Love LOVE claxton fruitcake. {that was a hint to go visit the website, subtle, eh?} in fact, i should be receiving a small royalty, as their PR person. cuz everytime, everywhere i have ever bought their cake, i brag and exalt the wonder of the claxton fruitcake. {ahem, *hint*hint*} why, just today, when i went to have a prescription refilled {perhaps there is a correlation, but i doubt it, i loved claxton fruitcake {*AHEM*} well before i began to take the meds...or perhaps that is just more support for the correlation, cuz dude, we all know i shoulda been on meds at that time, when i lived in georgia...ANNNnnnyway...} and while i was wondering around the drugstore, waiting for my drugs, i came across an entire display of claxton fruitcake. {*ahem*} the heavens opened, god's rays shone on those shelves {or it coulda been the sun glancing off the myriad of icicles hanging off the eaves...after all, it is literally freezing, as in 12 degrees...ANNNyyyway}, and all the candied fruit glowed like stained glass windows and i inhaled {causing the angels' chorus in my ears to gasp too} and took two lil cake/loaves up to the counter right away and began my bragging immediately. i told the cashier and the pharmacist and the other customer {who was edging away from me} that claxton fruitcake {*ahhhhh*} made in claxton, georgia is The Best. And this is what I said, twice:

If you hate fruitcake, or hesitate to try it cuz you've bought into all the stereotypes, try this {waving it in the air}; cuz it will change your life {i really meant to say mind}.

Claxton Fruit Cake {check it, ya know ya wanna}