Long Time, No Write

It has been over a week since I last posted an entry to my journal.  One of the main reasons is because Saturday (a week ago) I drove home and went to a Green Party meeting immediately after unpacking the car.  The meeting was interesting and I saw folks I have not seen in 2 years.  That was in large part because last year, I was very very isolated to the farm and did not venture forth to be social on very many occasions.

After the meeting, a good friend and I went to the ice-creamery and sat and visited for hours and hours.  We caught up with each other and discussed many things.  It is always great to visit with her and I am so glad that she had the time to do so.

The following day, I met with another friend for lunch at Ruby Tuesday's.  We both got the Salad Bar and loaded baked potato combo.  We visited and it was so great to see her.  I do see her often in her home, but it is usually with her small children, so it was wonderful to just focus on her.

Monday was her birthday and I went to Wally's World and bought items to make gift bags for several friends.  They were all pamper-me bags.  The one for the Birthday Girl was filled with melon lotions, body butter, wash, and spray; as well as, a huge bottle of caramel scented 3 in 1 wash, conditioner, shampoo.  I also enclosed money to pay back for the lunch.  I had wanted to treat her to lunch but was able only to cover my own.  So I told her Sunday that I would be paying for her lunch the next day.  She was very gracious about that, because she understood that I was not inviting her to lunch and then making her buy her own birthday dinner!  She really liked her bag and couldn't wait to use some of the products.

Another bag went to a friend who just received the final confirmation that she can fly to Guatamala in July and pick up the baby girl that she and her husband have been in the process of adopting.  The baby will be 11 months old then.  They have known since she was 3 weeks old that she was their daughter, but it takes time to clear everything.  In the meantime, they were able to receive pictures and videos of her and they were able to send her clothes and things.  But it is so exciting to have the last piece click into place.  So, her bag was baby products that you can't really get enough of...q-tips, baby shampoo, baby powders, A&D ointment, etc.  She thanked me and that makes it all worthwhile.  I like knowing that it was an appropriate gift and that the recipient is happy with the gift.

The other bag was also filled with lotions, body butter, cocoa butter, sprays, fizz balls for the bath, body scrubs, foot scrubs, etc.  I had given that to my friend that I met on Saturday over ice cream.  Her birthday is next month.  So I included a "just because" amount and a birthday amount of stuff.  I included a line of warm vanilla sugur products because I love them and I really thought she would like them too.

Monday I saw my therapist and we decided that we should start meeting every week for awhile.  Especially since I have been having a rough time with staying stabilized and not swinging wildly to euphoric mania and plunging deep into depression.  I have been having a hard time regulating my meds and sleep patterns.

Then, Thursday and Friday were the first two days (the first half) of the NAMI workshop that I'd been helping to bring to this area.  NAMI is the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill.  They are a not-for-profit organization with grass roots, for consumers, by consumers.  I had contacted them in February because I wanted to know how and what we could do to establish our own ongoing support group.  This is the first in a series of steps.  It is Peer to Peer Education.  The second half of the workshop will be this week, Thursday and Friday.

So, Tuesday and Wed, I had been contacting folks to remind them about it.  We had set the dates for this back in April.  At that time, I had 10 folks commited.  Only 5 showed up.  Some folks had poor health issues, which is always a real risk that is present for any obligation.  That's why so many of us don't or can't commit to things because we are not able to predict how we might be feeling at any point in time.  Some of the folks forgot that the workshop was coming up and planned other things which conflicted with their being able to attend.  I was rationally understanding, but emotionally I was worried about how many actually would show and whether they would conduct the workshop anyway.   They asked for a minimum of 6 to 12, but they said that it was ok that only 5 were there.  It actually made for a better group, I think because we are able to participate more and to move along at a faster clip.

However, those days exhausted me.  On Friday, we had storytelling/sharing scheduled.  So I was even more tense.  OF course we have the option to pass and not disclose, but I felt as though it would be good for me to be able to disclose to a friendly group as practice.  Because as self-advocacy and an advocate in general, I need to be able to speak about MI and not give the impression that it is shameful, embarrassing, or criminal.  So, Friday I shared and then came home and was exhausted with headaches and muscle tension and spent much of the weekend recuperating from the emotional drain and physical wear and tear.

So, that's how this past week has been.  Busy, busy, busy.