23 June 2015

The Strangest Accident of which He was NOT a Part

Rather than focus on the current plumbing skituashun, I thought I'd share a lil something that happened the other day for your reading enjoyment.  Use your imagination here, I'll paint the verbal image, and provide a few sketches to help you along the way...but I'm sure that your own imagination will have you shaking your head, chuckling, or face~palming {preferably the next stupid person you encounter, if only mentally}.

My husband drives a smartCar, a bright yellow one, and many people are captivated by it; pointing it out to others, sometimes to their own detriment because they tend to forget that they are operating vehicles themselves.  So you might already see where this is heading.  Sure you do, cuz you is smart.  If so, you might already be giggling.

So the other day, he is at the gas pumps, at one of these new fangled gas stations that have twenty or
thirty islands and five or six entrances to three or four different roads.  You might even know which gas station it is, but if not, you can probably still imagine such a place and the potential chaos that can ensue if just one monkey gets thrown into the mix, let alone if that monkey is wrenching their neck around and ogling my husband's lil car instead of paying attention to what they are doing.  Yes, you can see a whole barrel of monkeys let loose, can't you?

I knew you could.

So there stands my husband, gas nozzle at about hip height, filling up the lil smartCar~~which takes about three minutes because the tank is lil too.  He's standing there, watching the car backing out of the parking slot at the convenience store.  The guy driving is excitedly pointing the smartCar out to his passenger and still backing out.  My husband sees this, and starts to make wild arm waving gestures and the man waves back, just grinning away.

You must see where this is heading, right?  Cuz the guy backing up sure didn't.  Not even with my husband trying to get his attention and now adding a few yells of "hey there, STOP, HOLD IT, STOP" into the upcoming fray.  But nope, the backing~up guy just continues to wave right back, while not paying attention to anything other than my husband and his bright yellow car.


Meanwhile, through one of the entrances that is at the end of the row of parking slots, whips another vehicle, going a bit too quickly for the locale; but ya know, they had places to go, things to do, people to see, cuz they's impo'tant.  And then that straight fast car's driver gets all caught up in the spirit of awesomeness of my husband's car too.  In fact they might have even mouthed something like, "oh look!  how cute!"  Not exactly sure because that is NOT what they were saying a few seconds later.

Now it's hard to tell who made first contact, but backing up guy kept backing and straight fast car plowed straight on and they met with great force and rending of clothing and gnashing of teeth, sworn epitaphs, and ludicrous statements of finger pointing, fist shaking, and yelling.  The police officer who was exiting from the store with his co'cola, shook his own head, and flipped out his tablet, all set to do his thing, which involved a lot of listening and then explaining.

He agreed that yes, an accident report would be filed, with both of them at fault.  No, it is not my husband's fault that they were not paying attention to their own vehicles instead of gawking at the parked vehicle that was at the gas pump, getting gas.  No, not even tho the car is bright yellow.  Well, sir, if you were captivated, you should have safely parked your car and THEN let your imagination run rampant.  And no, it really does not matter who had the right~away in this case because neither of you were paying attention.  No, again, the gentleman is NOT responsible for your distraction.  Well, see you both admitted that you were not paying attention.  And no, it doesn't matter that the car is yellow, or cute, or novel.


Then the police office meandered over to my husband and asked him how the gas mileage was on that lil smartCar. Cuz he is kind.  And smart.  And impo'tant.

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