it's nirrrrrrrrrrrOh~DUde

I've not drawn anything in quite some time. But this dude was just ska~REAMing to come out. So da~tadada! Here his is.

another step forward

Well, today we loaded up and went to Tupelo to see the neuro~dude. He removed the neck/chin brace thingee and omg, whatta relief! For My Jerry too! {snicker} He's really been loathing that there thing and has been looking forward to getting it off.

They took some x~rays, right before we left, to make sure that his neck is okey dokey and not in need of the brace. The doc said that he'd call us if we need to put the brace back on. When we got home, I cleaned it up and added it to our growing pile of medical implements from this here incident.

{sigh}

As far as the neuro~dude goes, we will return in six weeks. Jerry will have a ct~scan of his brain, to see if the pea sized area where the grey and white matter collided and pinched a blood vessel is better. It's this area that is causing problems with his cognition and memory functions. We're hopeful tho, cuz in general, post~concussive trauma tends to last about four to six weeks. So we might be right on schedule with all that!

Next up, returning to see the ortho~dude and getting the staples taken out of Jerry's leg. That will be in about ten days. After that, Jerry can probably begin to place weight on his leg and actually use it when walking.

Nurse Pearl

Here she is watching TV, with My Jerry. She was at the foot of the bed, with her paws draped over the footboard, and her chin resting on her paws. Too cute.

Tomorrow, we go to Tupelo, to the neuro~dude. Hopefully Jerry can lose the neck/chin brace. He loathes it.

the past's idea of the future

I think it's funny when I see how shows that were made in one time period portray another time period. From the Waltons, the 70s version of the 30s, to countless sci~fi shows from the mid~20th century that forecast their version of what the future may be like; you're bound to get some giggles. Or rather I am.

Currently My Jerry is watching "UFO", a show made in 1970 {aired '70~'73} which had about 25 episodes, supposedly set in 1980. The music and outfits and cars and such definitely have the funky influence of the 60s. In fact, you might say that the show is drenched in the psychedelic 60s.

Funnily enough, they got one thing right, I used to have the owl~like hair cut the purple lady is sporting. In the 80s.

snicker.

just cuz...

...it cracks me up!

some food for thoughts

I started writing this entry about family dynamics from a mostly sociological perspective with lots of technical terms and vague generalities. Then I started to get frustrated, because I couldn't seem to get to the heart of the matter. So maybe I need to approach things differently.

My father's mother was a bit of a matriarch, and not necessarily a good one or even an effective one. I think she wanted to be, and perhaps in her own mind she was. She and my grandfather had four children, of which my dad is the baby. Two boys and two girls. They were all fairly close in age, and grew up together.

As a child, I spent a fair amount of time with those grandparents. I preferred being around my grandfather, but spent most of the time around my grandmother. She was a jealous woman and didn't want any one to spend much time with my grandfather, especially if she was not right in the same room, or even involved in the interaction in some way.

She was always a bit moody, and angry, and suspicious. She always had cutting things to say about other people and would take great satisfaction in stirring up trouble amongst her children and even their children. I think she was a very bitter woman. And liked to share her misery, spreading it thickly where it would stick and redoubling her efforts when it didn't seem to take as well as she'd want.

I was thinking about her earlier, because I was thinking about how having her as a mother must have affected her children's views and relationships. I was thinking that it didn't stop there, and in some cases, it's clear that even her grandchildren are stuck in muck. I wonder what her own parents were like, what her childhood was like, how she formed her ideas of what was okey and acceptable, let alone good and desirable.

That led me to think about cycles, and how to break them. And how some families seemed locked in destructive patterns. I got to thinking about how we are all influenced to a certain extent by what we know, what we've been around.

Children raised together have very different views and experience the same situations differently. Some folks who've been abused, grow up to be abusers. Others vow never to hurt anyone and take that mandate to extremes, hurting themselves to try to please everyone else.

We are not creatures without will. We can overcome huge obstacles, folks do it all the time. We also get to a certain point where we begin to realize that we are responsible for our own selves, our own actions {by omission and commission}, and our own ideas. We are never completely free of influence, but neither do we need to only be influenced and not think for ourselves.

A few weeks back, before My Jerry was hurt; one of my support groups was going to address siblings and how we relate to them, what sort of impact they've had on us, and how those things may affect us even now, into our adulthoods.

I got to thinking about how I've changed over the years, the ideas that I've had, and how I relate to folks. Mostly, I think I've shifted my reactions toward folks. I've seen plenty of examples in just this last year, around me {not even necessarily involving me, but folks that I care about, and so being aware of the situations in that way}, of people not being the same person they were five years ago, ten years ago, or even a week ago.

What stands out to me most is that many folks feel they don't get credit for growing up, for maturing, for shifting their ideas and actions accordingly. I hear folks pleading with others to take the time to get to know them now, and not hold the past personhood against them for life. Yes, it's hard to let your guard down at times, to not feel that you must be on your toes, that you must not let yourself be taken advantage of again; sometimes, finding that happy~medium, that middle ground between bearing a grudge for life and being a doormat can be hard.

I think a good place to start is to own up to the past, to take responsibility for it, but to not dwell there, and move on. It's not as simple as I've said, but neither must it be as difficult as we can sometimes perceive it to be. Sometimes we hang onto old hurts because they make us feel safer and more justified.

What was the point of this post, the heart of the matter? Well, I'm not sure. I think that mostly I just wanted to acknowledge that some folks only feel safe if they are attacking others and some folks can get beyond that and feel safe and confident in who they are and continue to grow and mature.

I'm glad that I have few of the former folks in my life and more of the latter.

getting the chucks where ya can

Wednesday, as we were driving home from the hospital, My Jerry said something d'uhm and caught the d'uhmness himself. So he throws his hands up in the air and let them fall. The right one fell very heavily, landing on his thigh, just above the knee that just had surgery~~this caused great pain, such that his self~deprecating laughter to turn into a sharp cry. But I couldn't stop laughing, even tho I tried. The harder I tried to stop, the harder I laughed~~til I was crying with laughter and he was crying with pain.

And Jerry says, "you're welcome for the blog material".

quick update

My Jerry's surgery on Monday morning on his knee/shin went well and the doctor feels good about things. We stayed at the hospital til today, to give him some time with the physical therapist and stuff like that. This afternoon, we came home and after we got him settled in the bed in front of the tv and the air~conditioner, I ran to walmart and picked up some food, drugs, and other essentials. He's getting some sleep now, and I think I'll call it an early night too.

He can bend the knee to about 45 degrees. He needs to flatten it more, straighten it out. Also, for the time, he's to use a wheeled~walker; cuz the crutches are not too stable at this point for him. We go back to see the orthopedic surgeon in two weeks.

Next up: neuro~surgeon this coming Monday.

Thanks for everyone's help and thoughts, we do so appreciate all of you!

well, ain't that just a kick in the head?

I've never been a huge fan of filling out forms, especially when they are not really used anyway or aren't applicable to the particular situation. For instance, My Jerry was to return to Tupelo, a little over an hour away, to see the orthopedic surgeon about his broken knee/shin. I know that there are all kinds of reasons for this, including making sure nothing horrible has happened {like some bizarre infection} and that the swelling has gone down so surgery can be done to put some screws and bolts into place.

So we get there. And I notice right off that the layout of the building doesn't really suit folks that might use the services of say, orthopedic surgeons. Ya know, folks who are slightly incapacitated due to a broken leg. I'm just saying.

I check him in and take the numerous forms and begin to complete them. It becomes clear to me that the forms need some serious revamping cuz the same answers are repeated in multiple places thru~out. We finally get Jerry back to a room, and thirty minutes later, a nurse comes in and basically asks me all the same questions again. I could tell it wasn't just for verification purposes. In which case, wouldn't it make more sense to save the paper and patient's time/nerves, and just have the nurse do an intake in the first place?

So the doc comes in, asks if Jerry remembers him, seems crushed that he doesn't. I remind the doc that Jerry had a blow to the head {forget the fact that he is wearing a somewhat obvious blue adn white contraption about his neck/throat, extending from chin to chest} ~~ after all, you first met Jerry in the trauma center, where an entire team of trauma specialists were working on him. So it isn't odd that Jerry doesn't remember him. We're just happy he remembers his family, tho he doesn't always recall the visits or conversations he has had with them, over the last few days.

Then the doc asks me if it's ok for him to check out Jerry's leg. Since that's what we were there for, I was all like, go for it! But he was hesitating, gesturing to the soft splint that encases Jerry's right leg from mid~thigh to ankle. Since that contraption was something that that particular doc ordered, and since that particular doc is an orthopedic surgeon, I was really perplexed as to why the doc seemed at a loss when faced with a soft splint.

Finally, he realized that I was not going to just start unfastening velcro straps and loosen it up {mostly because Jerry was in a seated position, and I only unfasten the splint to either ice it or bathe him, when he is in a stable prone position~~and I didn't know what to do when he is in a seated position}, so the doc heaved a huge sigh, unfastened two of the numerous straps and stuck his hand inside the splint, squeezed Jerry's leg and said, "oh yeah, it's squishy enough" and then danced off, leaving the splint askew and me somewhat appalled at Jerry's very pale face and his gasps of pain.

However, let me give hah~YOU~jah props to the x~ray tech. She is the bomb! Mad skilZ? She's got them! She was the most gentle person, evah. Jerry remarked in wonderment that he'd never had a painless x~ray, til today. Since he has two fractured bones, that was amazing that she was able to position his leg in such a way that she could get her views without causing him pain. Yea!! Tech, go tech, it's your birthday!

Then they send us to the hospital. I asked if that was necessary, being that we were just there. Oh, they assure me, yes, it's essential. The hospital is going to need blood. And maybe some urine. Basically, they just weren't sure what the hospital does, cuz that's their job and so there.

So we get Jerry loaded back into the car. And I drive to the hospital {we love this folks, some of the best nurses and orderlies, evah!} and get him unloaded, go park the car, get into the admission stuff and then to the pre~operative room for the tests that the doc's office assured me was oh so necessary. Only to find out that they don't need to do any draws cuz HE HAD THE BLOOD TESTS DONE LESS THAN A WEEK AGO! I mention this to the nurse that the doc's office was adamant. And the nurse rolled her eyes, and I said, "you'd think a simple phone call might have eliminated the unneccessary trip and additional two percocets that Jerry needed cuz of the pain that was caused from moving his leg around getting him in and out of the car several times, hm?" She agreed.

So, basically six hours of manuvering Jerry, having his leg in a very uncomfortable position, etc etc...and all that was needed was the doc's copped feel, x~rays to confirm what three sets of x~rays show {yes, it's still broken}, and ... nope, nope, that's about it.

But, now we are home, Jerry is resting in front of a tv show that is featuring women cops of Memphis. He's drugged. And about as happy as ya can be with a broken leg.

I'm freshly showered. And about as happy as I can be with a husband with a broken leg.

And we are so very relieved that we do not have any other obligations til Monday's surgery. Yea!!!

{post surgery, the physical therapy can be done here, in Starkville...which a ten mile drive is a helluvalot better than 150 miles, right?}

Bureaucracy

{NOTE: I did not create this.}

"{*gasp*} for me?!?"

I heard the delighted doggie thoughts of my shaddow lane while I was assembling my make~shift sleeping pallet on the living room floor next to My Jerry's bed. Shaddow got down off "her" sofa to check it out and then meandered away with studied nonchalance. I peaked in a few minutes ago, as I was checking to make sure the dogs were settled before I went to bed...and yup, she's settled alright! On my sleeping bag! Ain't she cute tho? Spoken like with an adoring mother's bias.

hah~UGE thanks so very much

Some of you know, so this a re~cap. But first, I'd like to send out a huge thanks very much for all your help, food, prayers, energy, thoughts, eMails, etc. I appreciate it more than I can possibly express!!

My Jerry had an accident Friday afternoon, while coming home from work. An elderly man made a left~hand turn directly into Jerry's path and Jerry didn't have time or distance to do much to avoid the front end of the other man's cadillac. Things are not over by a long~shot, but Jerry is stabilized and out of immediate danger. If he continues to improve, he will eventually make a full recovery.

At the moment, Jerry doesn't remember anything from Friday, at all. This is fairly normal for a head~injury. With some time, he will be less confused and able to remember most things. He may not ever remember Friday, and that's alright. The important thing is that he has already been able to think a bit more clearly than he had either Friday or Saturday. Each day is much better than the day before. He still gets very easily confused at night time, but even last night was better than the night before.

He does have some road~rash. Mostly his left arm has been scraped raw, as he was wearing a t~shirt. His jeans protected most of the surface of his legs. His left cheek is a lil raw, but scabbing over already. If we continue to keep things clean and drained, he should recover completely within the next few weeks.

Jerry's neck is some sore, and one of his vertebra's protruding wing's was snapped off. The actual portion that encases the spinal column is fine, and given some time, the muscles in his back and neck should be ok. Things are banged up, scraped, swollen, bruised, &/or contused; so he needs lots of rest, for both his body and his mind.

His right leg is the largest concern right now, and the source of most of his pain. His knee~cap {patella} has been fractured horizontally. He also has a tibial plateu fracture. This mean that the top of his shin has a vertical fracture starting at the large bulbous area {that resembles a clenched fist}. These injuries will require surgery, probably early next week; however the swelling must first abate. So right now, his leg is in a soft splint to keep it immobilized as much as possible.

Jerry needs to keep any weight or pressure off his leg, so that he doesn't shift anything around or cause more damage. So it's lots of bed rest, no moving around running marathons or lifting weights or mowing lawns or heaving logs or doing the time~warp for the moment. Which generally is difficult for him to do, cuz he's so used to doing stuff~~this laying around is more difficult for him than getting out and about in this hundred plus degrees and clearing brush or whatever he seems to think he should be doing instead of resting, getting his wits and bearing straight, and not moving that leg around.

We'll be making a trip to his orthopedic surgeon later this week, and hopefully the surgery will be scheduled for Friday or Monday. In a couple weeks, his neurologist wants to see him to make sure he's progressing and then hopefully he can lose the cervical collar that is aggravating him when he is most confused and trying to take it off and hop out of bed and get dressed for work.

My Jerry is much loved and every one has been so incredibly helpful, and I am very fortunate to have him and all of his loved supporters around. Everyone has been making this so much easier for me by being here for him and by allowing me to nap and get some sorely needed rest. Folks have stepped up and taken on complicated tasks that seem way too daunting for me to figure out right now, like procurring a hospital bed so that Jerry won't make a break for it in the middle of that night by thinking he can run to the bathroom.

Thanks so very much, guys! It's so deeply appreciated! I'm sure that I'm forgetting to give some details, or thanks someone in particular, and I'm hoping you'll understand that I do thank each and every one of you, even if I don't say so at the moment.

My Sweeterpeas

I managed to get some good pix of my sweeterpeas! My Jerry holding SooPer DooPer Cooper. My Shaddow Lane's beautiful face. And the regal Princess Pearl, holding her pose even while glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. She rolled around yesterday in some of the Georgia Red Clay that we tracked back from MoonDance. See the pink swath down her side?

My Jerry's gifts

While I was making Ferah and Grant their wedding afghan, My Jerry kept saying how much he loved the colors. So with most of the yarn that was left, I just finished this for him yesterday. I figured it will be a good afghan to cover with while watching TV for him.

While in Georgia, at MoonDance, My Jerry bought this lil drum. His young grand~daughter was over the other night and loved bopping it for a good deal of the time she was here. I was glad that My Jerry hadn't finished the maple~stick he is shaping, sanding, and coating for the drum~~~it brings forth a sharper sound that totally eclipses the dull gentle thud a hand makes.

Also, our edition of the second season of TrueBlood came in this week. We spent Friday evening and most of Saturday watching the first season to refresh our memories. Then we started viewing the second season yesterday and watched some this morning before he left to go to work today. Oh so good, soooooooooOOOOooooo good.

Since My Jerry was gonna have to work today, because his student~workers don't start til tomorrow; he took Friday off, and mowed most of the day, showered, and we settled in to watch TrueBlood, season one. He mentioned that he'd almost wanna get HBO just so we could see the current episodes. But then, we decided not to do that, cuz we kinda like just watching it all at once and not losing any of the details and such. We both read the books as they come out, but that's cuz we're both too impatient to wait!

I'm rereading the Earth's Children series by Jean Auel. The first book is called: Clan of the Cave Bear. My Jerry has the cheezee movie attempt. He asked if I wanted to watch it, and I told him that it's not even close to the book. I mean, you always hear the book is so much better. But I think that doesn't suffice.

It's like if you made a fifteen minute montage of forty years of Dr. Who. It's so inadequate. It hits some points, but cannot convey all the finer nuances that makes the series such a joy to delve into!

{dudes, i just realized that i almost typed "nuisances" instead of "nuances"; whoohpses!}

soo~per doo~per cooper

I'm not sure what all breeds are mixed into this lil doggie...but he sure is a sweetie! He's soon to be eight, and blind in one eye {and somewhat blind in the other}. So we give him a lil more leeway than we might otherwise, cuz I think sometimes he gets stuck in one room and can't find the door. Po'dude. Funny thing tho, he scratched the lil rug like a cat does in the lil box...but he doesn't need to go...either before or after. Maybe he is sorta marking it as his own by scratching, I don't know. I was trying to get some cute pix of him all snuggled up in My Jerry's lap, but by the time I got the camera, he moved on. Stay tuned!

My Shaddow Lane

We decided to bring Cooper inside. We'd talked about it before, but wanted to wait til we had warmer nights, just in case we had to put him back out. So today, My Jerry clipped him and bathed him and we brought him in.

Cooper is a ... med~sized mutt who is blind in one eye...about 8 years old. A few years back, My Jerry and his first wife had been up in Tupelo and stopped by the pound. On Cooper's cage there was a destroy notice, they were planning to put him down the next day. So My Jerry and his then wife had brought him home, where he's been in a somewhat large pen outside, attached to the barn.

My Jerry would usually let Cooper out to run around while he mowed. Harley would be Cooper's guide~dog, and we worried how he'd do without Harley. He seems to be ok, sometimes wanders blindly about, his depth perception is way off.

But it breaks my heart to hear him whine and I know he's got to be super~lonely in the pen, so we discussed bringing him in. He seemed to do ok this evening, and the girls liked him just fine. In fact, I think it's gonna be ok, to keep him as an indoor doggie, and let him out to do his business.

I do have another outdoor dog, Beider. Beider was badly abused before he came into my life. So he is very shy around others now. He's ok around me, and he loves My Jerry, but he's not wonderful around groups of people, or other dogs he doesn't know. Last year, we tried to put Beider and Cooper together a few times, to get them acquainted, but that didn't work too well.

Beider is in a safe~area that My Jerry had built just for him last year. It is on the side of the house. With coaxing, Beider will put one paw inside the house, then have second thoughts and back down the steps.

The pictures above are of My Shaddow Lane, the first dog I ever had. She's almost nine and is the sweetest most gentle pup ever. In her older age, tho, she does get easily startled and sometimes will snap or snarl. If we do have a crowd of folks visiting, I usually take her into the master's suite, cuz she gets disoriented and a bit frightened. That way she can have some space without lots of confusion. She is beginning to go blind and sometimes she seems unbelievably old, slow and pained in her movements. Other times, she is like a big overgrown pup that has extra white on her face.