If I read to myself, will I go blind?
No. Unless you do it somewhere with really bad lighting.
Why should I believe in myself?
Unless you are in fact an imaginary character, you should at least suspect that you are a real person. If you manage to convince yourself that you actually exist, then you're well on the way to getting others to agree with you. That opens the doors to all sorts of possibilities.
What do you do?
I don't do inanimate objects. As far as people go, I'm very selective about whom I do. I wasn't always this way. But, I'm getting older and developing taste.
No, I meant, what do you do for money?
That depends. Why, do you have a proposition for me? No, forget I asked that. I'm not going to start reverting to old habits. That way lies yet another 12 step program.
Why won't you answer your phone when I call?
Well, the obvious answer would be, because I don't want to talk to you. The truth is less obvious. It's because I leave the ringer silenced, so I don't answer anyone's call. And in this case, I'm going with the obvious answer.
have any questions, that you'd like me to answer, feel free to ask in
comments. I may read them and laugh uproariously. I may think,
"pft". I may even answer them, in a future blog.