Proverbs ~~ a word to the wise

Man who runs in front of car gets tired.
Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.
Man who walks through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok.
Man who scratches ass, shouldn't bite nails.
Man who eats many prunes, gets good run for money.
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls does not walk.
Man who fights with wife all day, gets no peace at night.
Man who drives like hell, is bound to get there.
Man who stands on toilet, is high on pot.
Man who lives in glass house, should change in basement.
Man who farts in church, sits in own pew.
Man who fishes in another's well, gets crabs.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
It takes many nails to build a crib, but only one screw to fill it.

(none of these are due to my original thoughts, just passing the chucklicious thoughts on)

skived it...from whom or where, i dunno...but an old good one

This makes me giggle, snicker, snort, and guffaw.
Hope you get a chuckle or two, too!

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied,
"When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit,
I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.
If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass,
he found the following note on the door:

 
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as
Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,
don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said,
"Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me".
12)The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry".
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not:
Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's
not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

break, schmeak

What break?!?

I was thinking I needed a break this month, so that burn out wouldn't scorch me.  HA!  Didn't happen.  I won't go into details about what all happened, other than to say that I am really glad that I didn't try to maintain NAMI's meetings on top of everything else.

My guy did make it down this weekend and he had today off from school and work, so he is here today too!!  Although, he is slaving away, reading articles, preparing power-point (tm) presentations, and hard at work as usual, in some form or another.  But we did get to spend more time (together) than usual this weekend.

I think that I am going to see if I can set the start-up of the support meetings for April.  Then take March as the time to do the behind-the-scenes stuff.  Also, I am thinking about dropping the women's meetings, and just going with the general meetings.  AND I am thinking about cutting back on doing meetings every week in both towns, to doing meetings only on the 2nd and 4th Thursdays (or maybe even just having one meeting per month per town).

Any comments, suggestions, questions, feedback, input, advice, etc.; please feel free to comment or email me!!!

Valentine's Day

"And now I show you the most excellent way...

LOVE"

my friend, such a dear

Friday, I spent some time with my friend whose father had died last Sunday.  She is doing much better than she is giving herself credit for.  She is going through a range of emotions but is accepting all those feelings.

Her father had told her that after she grieves, then she must go on.  She spoke at the funeral on Saturday and I think she is strong.  She knows that she will have rough moments ahead, but is accepting of that, too.

I am so glad to know her.

Baby, it's cold outside...

...and wet, and muddy, and miserable...

I didn't set foot outside the door today.  My friend was expecting me in town.  I called her to let her know that I was not going to venture out.  She was actually going to call me and tell me not to come out in this awful weather.

My dogs are hating it.  They don't want to go out, not even to relieve themselves.  Then they track mud in.  They can't help it.

My entire yard and parking area is swampy, murky, mucky mud.  The sky was a solid heavy whitish gray.  The bare trees are standing stark, shiny wet.

I've been running both the gas and the electric heaters.  It's still drafty in here.  Which stands to reason, because it's an older trailer.

I am not terribly fond of this time of year.  But if it's what I need to get through to get to the nicer, more pleasant areas of spring, well then there is no getting around it, right?  Hope your winter is coming to an end too.

Yet another example of my gracelessness...

Ya know how sometimes when ya do something dumb, and no one else is around to witness it; ya could keep it to yourself, but noooooooooooo, ya gotta share it with the world?

OK, so maybe YOU don't do that.  But I do.

My garbage really needed to be taken out.  So I did.  In the dark.  In the rain.  Alone.  (gee, I hear echos of Hemingway) sigh.

I was fine.  Went all the way out to the can, next to the mailbox, by the dirt (ahem, muddy) road.  Came back to the car.  There the problems began.

I unlocked the driver's door.  And the door refused to open.  (there, see, I am stressed when I begin to attribute human willful characteristics to inanimate objects)  So I wrenched on it awhile, before realizing, d'uhm, debbie, d'uhm, there are four freaking doors, go around and unlock the passenger's door and unlock the rest.

So, I go around to the other side (like the chicken, sorta).  Only I step in a muddy hole and twist my ankle and land in the cold mud.  Which promptly soaked through my skirt, my slip, my underwear (the virginal white ones with some sort of non-existent flowers that are reminiscent of childish daisies with purple petals and blue centers), splashing mud up and INSIDE my kick-ass mid-calf doe-skin boots.  Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.  I exclaimed, as I stood up.

I did what I went out to do.  I came in and assessed the damage.  Then I cleaned the boots as best I could.  I trashed the ruined nylons and muddy panties (coulda washed em, but I hate purple anyway).  I washed the black slip cuz I need to wear it tomorrow (unless I want to be very indecently inappropriate at my friend's father's funeral--oh, yeah, give em something to talk about, why don't I?).  And climbed into my jammies my friend sent me from AL for my birthday.

My birthday suit (ahem, the material one, sillies) is red fleece with footies.  It resembles a baby's sleepwear.  With a zipper and everything.  I haven't worn them before, but I figured tonight is cold, wet, miserable.  Perfect.

Then, I discovered that there is a reason that not many folks besides small children wear these things.  Cuz they wear diapers.  These things are sorta tricky to shed when in a rush to use the potty.

sigh.

another lesson learned.

(whistling)

big decision

Yesterday, I made a rather rough decision.  Since I made it, though, I have felt sooooooooo much better.  Already, the tension is easing from my body and brain.

I cancelled the meetings for this month.  I'm burning out.  I need a break.

So, I'm getting one.

On a more serious note...

Long-time, faithful readers know that I have a dear friend whose father has been ill.  My friend has already dealt with more in her 30 years than some do in an entire life-time.  She's a very very smart, compassionate, witty woman.

She has had brain cancer.  They removed most of the tumor, but she has had a rough time with the chemo and the after-effects.  Some of those include having seizures periodically, a frustratingly shoddy memory, tiring at an alarming rate.

After taking care of her mother for most of her own high-school and college years, she made the heart-wrenching decision to place her mom in a nursing home where she now is in the late stages of dementia.  She barely recognizes my friend, her own daughter.  So, for the last several years, it has been my friend and her father.

Until Sunday morning, that is.  The cancer finally took the man's life.  He died at home, which is what he wanted.  He slipped through the cracks and crevices of the VA, not receiving adequate treatment, including pain-medication.

His finally days were awful.  He was tormented, in horrible torturous pain.  The passing was not peaceful.

My friend and her father both cried out for the end to be swift.  Sadly, it was not as fast as they would have liked.  However, he is gone.  My friend was alone with him when he did burst out of this world.

She is in profound shock, numb, hating to awake each day to face reality.  My heart aches for her and my fondest wish is that when she can, she will reach out and accept help instead of maintaining stoic facade of strength and stone.  She is so heart-sore.

I ask that you pray, send warm thoughts and wishes, do whatever it is you do, but please, please, keep her in mind.  Thank you.

me and my buddy, Phil

Yeah, so, I'm from PA.  That means I got to thinking about Phil's big day.  Punxsutawney has been Phil's home for years.  They gear up every February 2nd and have a big ol' smashing time.

'Course, ya know, that could be alotta performance pressure.  The dude is pretty laid back though, no sweat.  I feel kinda bad for him sometimes, cuz he gets hauled outta his little home and woken from a sound slumber.  Just so we can know if spring is coming in six weeks or if we have another six weeks of winter.

Now for those of you that protest that that means the same thing, au contraire!  Ya hafta unnerstant the logic of the dutchmen.  Ya know, we throw the cow over the fence some hay and we also throw mama from the train (a kiss, a kiss).

Anyway, what I mean ta say is that even though my home is now MS, I'm thinking 'bout ya, Phil.  Do your duty and then get some serious nappage.  Ya gotta start training for next year.

Oh, and by the way, HAPPY GROUNDHOG DAY, ya'll!!