Fitting~In versus Belonging

Brene Brown talks about the difference between fitting~in and belonging.  Fitting in with a group entails you observing the rules, the attitudes, the behaviors, the clothing, the appearances, the speech habits, etc of this group so that you can modify your own appearances so that you are outwardly similar to others in the group.  Fitting in can really separate you from yourself.  You end up denying and shunning, cutting off parts of yourself so that you can fit in.  This makes you more disconnected from yourself, from your full self.

Belonging is the wholehearted true acceptance of you as your authentic true self as you are, as you were, as you are going to be.  When you accept all of you, each part of you, the inner you as well as the outer you, the true you; you are more connected to you, yourself.  It makes you more confident, more able to be the person you are regardless of comparison to others, how others see you, or think you should be.  This makes it much easier for you to be your true self and you accept yourself, it makes it clearer for others to see you for who you are and how you show up and are seen.

This does allow you to find your tribe, for you to build your group of friends who truly accept you, and like you, and feel good around you, and encourage and support you, as you do the same.  But it starts with you accepting you.  Once you truly accept you, you can accept others too.  Like attracts like, so others who are like you will seek you too, not like you as in exactly you, but like you as in accepting of themselves too.

Which leads me to this: