The Depression of "Manic~Depression"

It seems like there isn't much that I can say that isn't intensely personal right now, but I feel I let that interfere with my writing and other activities.  In the past, when I would feel that I couldn't get out of my own head or events in my personal life; well, then I'd withdraw from most of my interactions with acquaintances, groups, and public activities; for fear that I'd alienate folks by saying the wrong things or focusing too much on personal stuff while in the company of folks who might find that inappropriate.  My filters begin to slip or simply vanish and then I say and do things that I later wish I had not said or done.  So the way I dealt with that was to withdraw for a time.

Some consider that isolation.  But I think that it can be a smart thing to do.  Sometimes, personal reflection, rest for the mind and body, is just the thing.  This type of behaviour can be restorative, healthy.  Withdrawing becomes problematic, or isolative, when it contributes to life's malfunctions instead of helping to solve those troubles. 

For instance, about ten years ago, I discovered that I sometimes needed complete peace from interactions with the outside world.  At that time, I found the phone to be particularly irritating.  It was an insistent interruption and would bring the outside social world right into my own peaceful place that was my sanctuary from invasive chaos.  I was experiencing heightened anxiety and would have panic attacks in public places often.  There were triggers that would startle me into losing my shit quickly and with a frightening intensity that seemed to never quite abate completely.  One of those triggers was a ringing telephone; so I silenced the ringer on my land line {I had no cell} and would periodically check caller id or the messages if needed.  My friends and family knew to leave a message if they wanted a return call.  Cuz really, I lived by myself, was not responsible for anyone but myself, and what sort of emergency was any one going to have that would require my immediate response?  Really?  Absolutely none.

So for five years, I didn't use the phone, wouldn't take incoming calls, and rarely made outgoing ones.  At first, that was fine, it was what I needed.  But then others began to worry because they felt that I was isolating myself.  I can see from their perspective, and in our society, at this time, yes, it probably was a bit excessive.

But then I rejoined the world at large.  Or rather, my community.  I met a wonderful man who become my husband within a year.  I began to get involved with several smaller groups, a few who met monthly or even less frequently.  I was careful not to commit to any obligations that would overwhelm me.  I was gingerly moving; but still, it was forward movement.  And that, my friends, is something.

I've made lots of progress over the past decade.  But then there are times where something so completely blindsides me, that I don't just have a set~back...I seem to fall to my knees, die a cutting death with great agony, and sink into the mucky mire of dreaded despair.  Then I want to retreat.  I need to retreat.  I crave that retreat so totally, it scares me.

Here's the thing:  when I feel this way, I feel like I will always feel this way.  Even tho I know that I won't.  It feels like I will.  And that feeling swallows me whole and with such relish that I cower in corners, under covers, shutting out the world.  Or at least I think I want to cower in corners, under covers, and shut out the world.

But I don't.

Cuz to do so, would be too easy.  It would lead me too easily into isolation, an unhealthy dark dank place that deadens me and scares my loved ones.  And that is what depression is like for me.

Welcome

Dear College~Student,

This is a hugely exciting time of your life.  You are meeting new folks, getting acquainted with your roommates, and stretching your wings.  There's a new town for you to explore, with all its cute lil boutiques, cafes/restaurants, and such.  I get that.

You've got lots of emotions running rampant.  Yea!  You finished a life~long endeavor to get here!  Be proud of graduating, completing thirteen plus years.  Yea!  You're starting something new, hitting the big leagues.  Wahoo!  You're leaving home and moving on.  Get that.

And I get the whole text book, class, professor thing.  It can be overwhelming.  It can be exciting.  You might say and do all sorts of things while you're finding yourself, trying this and that.  You might even say and do things in fits of nervousness that you'd probably never say or do at any other time.  I get that, too.

So go have fun.  Within reason.  Have a blast.  Within reason.  Enjoy the whole college experience.

BUT, {and you knew one was coming right?}  keep in mind that while YOU are not the center of the universe, neither are you alone.  Lots of others are willing to help you thru this process.  BUT you have to be willing to help yourself too.  Please get that.

Understand that not everyone around you is experiencing exactly what you are.  And neither do we want to do so.  I really Really REALLY do not want to hear about your dilemma over which ice~cream you choose and why you did so, and I certainly don't find the process of how you chose the ice~cream that you did nearly as fascinating as you do.  Please get that.

If I can hear your squeals of excitement while your describe your great love for Snickers Nutcracker, while I have earbuds routing Garbage's "Shut Your Mouth" into my head; then there is a likelihood that you are too fricken loud.  Just sayin'.  Please get that.

If I can hear your one sided conversation {that'd be a monolog, right?} as you chat away on your cell, while I am eating across the restaurant from you; please get that the entire room doesn't share your exuberance in finding just the cutest lil boots ever and on CLEARANCE {especially since it's AUGUST in Mississippi, you do get that, don't you?}.

And dudes!  If you are standing in line in a store, while the cashier is ringing up and bagging your purchases; be ready to pay.  If you and your roommates have turned shopping into a group event, and want to pay as a group; then try to work your strategy out ahead of time.  Huddling up at the end of the counter, while more folks queue up, is not effective.  If you can't divide the total bill by the number of housemates {or whatever your plan of attack is}, then just pay; and worry about divvying up expenses fairly later.  The cashier is not amused with your witty excuse that you are all poor college students.  Especially if you are dressed in clothes that would require an entire month's wages.

Please respect others; like the residents of this town, the employees who serve you, and your fellow students.  You will receive more respect yourself, if you treat others accordingly.  If you want to, get involved in the community.  Volunteer with some of the excellent efforts in the area.  But at the very least, be responsible for yourself.

Welcome to college, may you enjoy your years here.  May we enjoy your years here too.  Let's work together to make them good.

chairs

My new~to~me leather chair that I will love forever.  And ever.

The lil girls, all nestled on top of my husband's chair.

lil girls

I snapped this right before I walked out the door this morning.

What I did with my weekend...

Have I mentioned lately how very sweet my husband is to me?  Well, he is!  We have been considering how to store/display/organize my yarn for quite some time.  Long time readers may recall when I had posted some pictures of my stash.  Here's the link:  debrasdose.blogspot.com/2011/05/crafty-room.html

Part of the problem with the two large wooden shelving units was that if I would take one skein off the shelf, most of the yarn on that shelf would come off too.  This meant that I was constantly trying to hold my arm up to block the other yarn from falling off the shelf and/or replacing skeins on the deep, wide shelves.  They were not meant for holding yarn.  So I thought this and I thought that, and then I considered that and I considered this.  Then I weighed that alternative and this idea and I was still not satisfied that I was coming up with exactly the right solution.

So let's skip ahead two years and two months to just about two weeks ago...we decided to get interlocking wire cubes that are about fourteen inches.  kMart had a six block unit for twenty dollars.  So I purchased some at the "local" store {next county over}, made sure they would work, and then made a larger purchase online {free shipping right to my home!}.  My order arrived on Friday.  Saturday, my husband and I moved the wooden shelving units out into the living space {which brought an entirely different idea to mind for future use of them, which in turn made me very excited, wahoo!!}.  I had already rearranged the other things that needed to be moved back in that room.

Saturday, my husband and I built a wall of wire cubes.  It's five cubes high and eight cubes wide.  That's forty friggen cubes of delight!  I almost peed my pants, I was giggling with so much glee!

Then today, my husband helped me move some projects {works in progress, yarn projects, sewing projects, embroidery projects, monk's cloth, other fabric, the beginning of a quilt, all in various stages} so that I could get to the stacked up and bagged up and stored up yarn.  {cue choruses of "yarn glorious yarn"}.  I'm a big girl, I sweat.  I get out of breath much easier and faster than I used to.  And this is JULY in MISSISSIPPI, INDOORS.

So my awesome husband went to WalMart, bought an air~conditioner, came home, and INSTALLED it right then!!  That man is so sweet to me.  Lemme say that again:  he is amazing and he is amazingly sweet to me.

Then I began to organize and stack all that yarn that had been in ONE room {I have yarn spread throughout the house, it seems}.  My husband let me play back there, let my brain buzz away with joyous glorious happiness, let me interrupt his movie watching several times to exclaim my discovery of rediscovering my stash, and then let me drag him back into the room to point out all my lovelies.

So I had to brag on him.  And my stash.  Or at least, the bulk of it.  The rest of it needs to wait til the front room is ready for it.

La~la~lah!!

The lil girls

Our lil girls at rest, after playing.  Sophie lets Chiquita set the pace.  Chiquita sort of rears up and then paws the ground, or stomps with on leg.  Then Sophie dodges forward and tries to put her nose under Chiquita.  Then Chiquita runs away, a short distance.  Then Sophie chases her and then Chiquita turns and Sophie runs the other way and Chiquita chases Sophie.  The rest of the play consists of either or both stomping and pawing the floor and chasing each other for short distances.  Sometimes they bump noses and it's funny to watch them get all excited about the other.

Shaddow has been keeping to herself, often going into the bedroom to lay in there.  This is even if the lil ones are not playing around.  She really values her sleep and it's dark and cool in the bedroom, peaceful.  I should know, cuz I visit it often!

Chiquita, the Chihuahua

Jerry had a lil surprise for me yesterday.  Meet Chiquita, the Chihuahua.  She is fifteen weeks today and two and a half pounds.  She's a lil cutie, that's for sure!

Shaddow's Fading

My lil girl, my first pup, is soon to be twelve.  I got her when she was a two month old eager puppy, tumbling after her mother and her one other sibling who was not yet spoken for.  She was a soft fuzzy black sweet thing and her mom appeared to be a lab, tho I was not exactly sure.  I really didn't care.

So I scooped up the wriggling mass and took her home.  She followed my every move and slept lots.  That was troubling to me, an inexperienced doggie companion; that she slept sooooooooooOOOOoooo very much.  I knew babies slept lots, so it only made sense that a baby~dog would sleep lots too; but that much?

However she seemed happy and healthy, so I didn't worry overly much.  After we'd spent a few days together, I decided to call her "Shadow" cuz she either was at my heel, dogging my every step, or she was just under the edge of table, in its shadow, sleeping.  The doof I was seeing at the time {omg, such a huge ass mistake that, but thankfully short~lived...being "together"; tho the way he lived, I wouldn't be overly surprised if he himself didn't see his thirtieth birthday} had a leather collar made with a lil brass plate on it and misspelled her name.  So "Shaddow" she became and has been and will always will be.

Shaddow has been my constant companion {with the exception of the two months it took me to track her down with the doof 'napped her and then left her with his crackhead friends who then gave her to some methheads after she retrieved the neighbor's koi from his pond~~she's a lab, who loves water, and retrieving is her thang}.  So after I got her back to health {she'd been in a cat carrier, in a junkyard, scrunched up in her own feces and ammoniac urine...it still makes me sick, poor baby}, she and I resumed our relationship.  I promised I would never let anything like that ever happen to her again.  She remained a sweet, gentle girl; would stick close to me, but never did like lots of human contact after that.  She likes to be close, but not actually touching.

For the first half of Shaddow's life, we lived on a large farm.  I'd rented a small place on that farm and so she had lots of room to run and explore.  There were several ponds and being a lab, this suited her just fine.  The other folks had dogs, so she had lots of playmates.  She loved the nightlife and would go out and check out all the critters that roam nocturnal.  She was safe and happy.

I met my husband in December 2008, he fell in love with her too.  She had already started to have a lil problem with stiff joints.  So he built her a bed to replace her sofa.  It's a low frame that fits a toddler's crib mattress, so she's got room to sprawl out.  We moved to his place, which sits closer to a highway, but she has amble room to roam and she's smart about the road.  She had no problems adjusting.

She often greets my husband with puppyish hops and lots of wriggles.  It's one of the high points of his day, coming home to such an enthusiastic welcome.  Shaddow's been our big girl, as we now have a lil girl who has learned how to remain sweet from Shaddow's example.  Sophie will be three and we've had her since she was ten weeks old.  She is a chiweenie, tho favors the dachshund line in appearance.  Shaddow's been a good big sister to Sophie.  A great companion to me, a loyal friend with a big forgiving heart, and a wonderful first dog for me to have had.

Shaddow is aging not so well.  Her earlier trauma has had its toll.  Her joints are stiff, she moves slowly and awkwardly.  Her growth had been stunted, so her proportions are a bit off and now she is almost swaybacked.  She also has tumors throughout her body that are growing at a fast rate, one is pressing against her throat.

Most of the time, Shaddow seems to be happy, content to live and sleep.  She goes out and basks on the cement parking apron.  Or over in the soft field.  Comes in and climbs into her bed.  Sighs.  She eats, gets her treats, lays out on the porch.  Comes when called.  Sprawls next to me, on the cool tiles.

But I can tell she won't be with us much longer.  She's fading.  Sometimes she seems to be fading faster than others.  Sometimes I can still see her bouncing puppyish aura, happy to see her humans, happy to feel the fresh breeze, happy to get the treat.

But she no longer plays with Sophie.  She no longer wants to be bothered with the hustle and bustle of company.  She no longer roams, making her rounds to visit others.  She takes longer to stand from the prone, supine, or sprawled positions.

She whimpers now.  From time to time.  She seems to be in pain.  Now and then.  And I keep watch, because when it's time to say goodbye and let her go, I want to be able to send her on her way with love.  But I don't want to do that too soon.  But I want to be fair and do it on her time table, when she's ready.  But will I know when that is?  Will I be able to do the right thing by her and not hang onto her presence selfishly?

Shaddow's fading.  Fast.  Too fast for me.

Pail of Paint

This past week, it was a busy one for the family.  My husband's youngest son and his wife came to visit.  She is six months pregnant with their first child, a lil girl whom I wrote about a few entries ago {Suthern Belle}.  They are moving into a new home, which has some planting plots in the backyard, so she's going to be able to raise a bit of garden with veggies and herbs.  Plus when they left yesterday, they took a blueberry "bush" {it didn't look bushy, but in a few years, it will}.

Also, my husband's eldest son's wife returned for the fastest visit ever, and managed to squeeze a defense in there too!  It was a successful defense of her dissertation, so congrats to Dr. Daughter~in~Law!!  Yea!!!!

We had a lil cook~out with the above folks, plus the new Dr's parents and my husband's mom and one of the other siblings {my husband's youngest, the baby, who isn't such a baby anymore, 25yrs old now}.  The following day, my husband's oldest {35yrs old} and her family were here for a bit to visit with her brother.  So of my husband's five adult children, four of them were represented this past weekend.  The one who was absent was sorely missed {my husband's middle child, is also his middle daughter, as he has three girls and two boys}.

One of the things that Suthern Belle's mom and I did was go to the local "paint your own" studio.  The one downtown was closed, so we went to the new one out closer to the college and a lil bit trendier.  The staff was helpful, the ceramic selection was good, and there were plenty of various glazes to go with too.  So I would return there again.

Long time readers may remember that last summer I painted my "fire in the bowl" piece.  This year, I painted my Sky Bowl.  That's what you see here.

Also pictured is a small piece which is actually brown rather than the red it can appear in this pic.  Brown and blue combined are one of the pairings that Suthern Belle's mom likes, so I thought she might could use this as a caddy to hold her used tea~bag when she sips her mug of peppermint.

That is, if she doesn't use her own lovely creations pictured here as well!

repair

I've been procrastinating in a major way.  In fact, you could say that I'm a master procraster!  But here is the first third of the repair project.  After I get the other hexes joined into strips and the strips joined together; then I will go a~tuckin' and a~weavin' in the ends of all the joining yarn and such.  And then I'll post a pic of the finished project.  But here is the project at one third done!

Oh yeah? Well, Spec This!

So this afternoon, I wrote to my lovely daughter {yes, I claim her, I share her with lots of others, but she lets me claim her, so I do!} the following:

"...is irregular painful period part of the whole perimenopause thing?!? is it? cuz i wanna rip my uterus out, inflate it, tie it shut with my fallopian tubes, and use it as a floatation device while i am drowning in pain...oh good times, good times them..."

Then my husband brought in my new glasses which have arrived in today's mail.  They are my progressive multi~focals.  I think I'll adjust just fine to them.  I have a pair, pictured here, for everyday wear {mostly indoor}.  And I have a second pair with gradient tint so that I can see outdoors with out scrunching up my entire face into one big scowl so I can get the best squint possible.  Often I would forget my shades until I was already blinded by the sun.  So this time, I am hoping having the gradient tint will prompt me to actually WEAR them when appropriate.  I used to wear gradients at all times, cuz the glare from the text book page would give me a friggen headache.  As a grad student who was taking max hours, teaching, researching, using computers, and blah blah blah...it was important to be headacheless as much as possible.  I got waaaaaayy off topic here, the point is, got the glasses and I'm a happyish camper.

Except for the friggen hellishness that is commonly referred to as "cramps".  I got the front cramps, the back cramps, and the side cramps.  The side cramps are something that I've been introduced to within the last two months.  Oh yea!!  Lucky honored me!  Yea!!  A new type of seemingly unreachable pain!  Yea!!

And there is this sorta weakness, nervelessness, numbness, tinglies that make my thighs quiver and jump.  Ya know that sorta buzzed~numbness that you experience after that initial sharp pain when some asshat delivers a knuckle punch {and why the hell do they think that's funny?!?}?  That's the sorta feeling I have from the waist down.  I think it's lack of blood flow cuz all the blood in my body has rushed to my lower torso.

So I finally admitted defeat and took something a bit stronger than a handful of naproxen sodium, acetaminophen, and ibuprofen.  It's kicked in.  I still have the pain, but now, I don't give a shit.

New Hair Cut, featuring my natural undyed/unpermed hair

So this picture is probably the last time you will see me wearing these glasses.  Cuz I've two new pair ordered.  Why?  Well, turns out those twitches I've been experiencing around my left eye are not nervous tics, caused by stressful situations.  Nope, I just found out I am in need of bifocals.  I'm getting those progressives, the no~line bifocal which is actually more of a multifocal than only two.  If I can get wear these with no problems, in the long run, progressives will be better than glasses with lines marking clear delineations.  Cuz eventually I will need to have not just the two prescriptions for close and distant work; but also my eyes will need assistance with focusing on mid~range work {like with the computer screen and such}.

Aging aint for sissies.

My love, my husband, the dapper dude

Every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed man

This past Saturday night, my husband took me to see Pops in Pink.  The Breast Heath Care Clinic has been directing this annual event for three years now.  Several of the Starkville Community Theater members set up their karaoke machine and entertained us while we nibble food and visit with friends.  The proceeds go toward helping women who cannot afford screenings and diagnostic measures, as well as helping to offset treatment of breast cancer.  So $38,000 has been raised in just three years, thru events such as this.  That's damn good, at any rate, but especially for our area.

It was a lovely evening.  While it was a bit warm to start, the back yard of the Modern Mississippi Homestead Center got much cooler as the sun set.  The lawn was lighted with strings of tiny lights, the round white tables were set with roses and napkins, the dog mingled with the attendees, the chickens and pigs provided further ambiance, and my sweetheart held my hand and sang along with the country program.

I'm a lucky gal.

The Gift of Giving

Each year, or thereabouts, I select a non~profit group in the area whose work I appreciate to donate hand~knit/crocheted &/or loomed items to.  Sometimes I already have a list of local groups, and other times, I construct a new list.  It depends.

I like to first look at groups in my town, county, and the surrounding Golden Triangle.  Then I widen the net to also consider efforts of those organizations within the state or the SouthEast region as a whole.  Usually I don't get further than that, cuz there are lots of groups right here at home, in my own backyard so to speak; that going national or international doesn't make the list often.

I also consider what sort of work that group does, who they serve, and what sort of record they have.  Do the recipients actually receive the benefits, or does most of the money go to the administration?  Is the organization mostly made of volunteers or is it staffed with mostly paid/salaried folks?  Is this group funded in large part by some major foundation? Is there a need for the items I make?

In the past, I've made fifty hats/scarves/hoods/hooded~scarves for the Palmer Home for Children {an orphanage in Columbus, MS}; over a hundred hats for the Children's Hospital in Little Rock, AR; about thirty lapghans for French Camp Academy's Autumn Auction; scarves, hats, toys, washcloths for both the Safe Haven {Meridian, MS} and Sally Kate Winters {West Point, MS}, which are shelters for women and children; and other projects for groups in the area.

I always contact the organization before~hand, telling them what I do, asking if they would be interested in some items, and if so, what are their preferences/requirements/restrictions.  If possible, I ask if they can give me some demographics for the population they serve.  I give examples of what I make, and why I am asking for the information that I do.

For instance, some organizations work with populations like children who need soft caps because they now have newly naked, tender heads due to the chemo and radiation treatments.  Their siblings and parents often need warmer hats too, as most of the families' resources are going toward care for their sick child.  However, there usually are many groups that are assisting these organizations.

So I tend to want to help those that are not quite as widely or publicly known to be in need, so might not be receiving the assistance that they need.  Group homes for the elderly, mentally ill, recovery addicts, or developmentally disabled are usually in need of items and don't receive adequate assistance.  Their clients are often financially stressed, have health issues and expenses, and can use something that is personal, functional, and pleasing.  Often these folks don't have families who provide them with boundless love and support, sometimes those families don't have the means to provide them with much at all.

I know what it is like to be on both ends of this spectrum.  I've received services over the years.  I've worked as a provider of services.  And when I can, I like to be able to give back, help someone else out, let them know that folks do care and can help and will help.  Sometimes, receiving a personal item can remind the person that they are just that, a person, an individual worth caring about.  A scarf, a washcloth, a lapghan, a hat are all small things, yet they can mean so very much.

So this year, I looked at various non~profit groups within Mississippi.  I read about Baddour, a residential facility for adults with developmental disabilities.  Baddour is a community, of sorts, which provides the clients there with various activities and environments that address residents' abilities, needs, and wants.  So some folks garden, work, create items to sell in the facility's store, learn skills that will help them live more independently, cook, sew, watch movies, play sports, etc.  It's about empowerment and enrichment.  It's about encouraging and assisting these adults who are like you and me in that they want to be able to live their lives with dignity, joy, and freedom.  Yet these adults are not like you and me, in that they might not be able to drive to the store, select groceries for diner, pay or count the change, or cook that dinner when they return home.  They might not be able to process multi~stepped tasks the way you and I do.  They might not have families to love them, scold them, get together and take them to the movies.  They might be depending on others to provide their clothing, their meals, their allotted monies.

I can't do everything.  But I can make Dot a shawl of blue so that she can feel pretty.  I can make Bill a maroon and white afghan so that he can show his love for MSU.  I can make a bag that will fit onto Sophie's walker and a large cloth so that Sam's shirt stays clean while he eats.

I know I like to receive something special that let's me know that I am thought of and cared for.  I think we all do.  Don't you?

what the ... fleece?

My husband and I are very "Jack Spratt"; he's slim and I am almost a hundred pounds heavier than he is.  Which means, amongst other things, that I am always lots warmer than he is.  I am throwing off heat.  My body generates tons of it.  With all these solid layers of fat, I am encased in thermoheat wraps, the internal kind.  Now with summer just a twitch away, I break out in a clammy sweat just thinking of stepping outside.

So the other evening, I glance over at my freshly showered and clad~for~the~night husband stretched out in his recliner.  The air~conditioner is set on 74, I'm in my panties and v~necked T, hair up off my neck.  He's in his long sleeved T, the one with super~heros on it.  A thick pair of woolen socks are covering his feet.  And his sleep pants?  Fleece, festooned with teenage mutant ninja turtle faces.

I'm hot summer.  He's a snuggly winter night.

We're an odd couple, but we fit together hand in glove.  We both are comfortable, with ourselves and with each other.  Even if he is a 58 yr old going on twelve.

Oh, where to start, where to start...?

Ohhhh~Lah!  That's suthern for "hola".  Just sayin'.

There have been many things happening, many things happened, and a few have yet to happen.  So I know that I am making huge major glossing swipes here and will attempt to include all the biggies, but will probably miss something super~obvious; cuz sometimes I miss the trees for the forest, or the forest for the trees, but most of the times, I hit a nice balance where I can focus on both the forest AND the trees.  Why?  Not cuz I'm super~woman, no.  Cuz I have a great supportive husband, great supportive friends, and great supportive family.  Oh!  And did I mention that I have a great supportive mother?  She's been living here in Mississippi, just down the road now, for about a year.  Yea!!  It's been the first time we've lived in the same state since I was 24, let alone the same town, or the same property.  It's not that we didn't get along, we always have.  It's just life can take you places, if you let it.

So, this past year has been extremely difficult pet~wise for us.  We adopted a lil tiny ten week old puppy last October who had major congenital issues.  CoCo was with us for a month and then slipped into a coma induced by hypothermia {which apparently happens with small breed puppies very quickly}.  I did get her to the vet within fifteen minutes but she had a very traumatic day and passed during the night at the vet's home.  It was unreal how much she meant to us within such a short period of time.

Then we adopted Ginger, who was most likely six to nine months old.  So we decided her birthday would be St Paddy's day.  She was full~grown but still puppyish and weighed about 13 pounds when we brought her home.  She and Sophie played and played and played.  Ginger was definitely a daddy's~girl, for sure!  We had her for a few months and then, she was either hit by a car or beaten.  We searched for her and then that night she showed up on the front porch but we rushed her to the ER at the Vet School here at MSU cuz she was banged up pretty badly with lots of internal damage, tho not easily apparent from the outside.  Turns out her spine was separated from her shattered pelvis.  I have no idea how she managed to make it home at 3a.  She died just before what we'd been hoping would be her first birthday.

It was horrible.  So we decided that we shouldn't even think about another addition to our home for awhile.  I felt bad, but I swear that Jerry was crushed to the core.  So we just need to give ourselves some time and just enjoy the girls we have.

Shaddow is going to be twelve in August!  She is not in the best of health, several large tumors {systematic}; but she seems to be enjoying life still and not in undue pain.  She is loving her bed and during the day, she loves to either bask on the concrete apron in front of the house or stretch out in the field next to our place.

Sophie is two and a half and has mellowed somewhat tho she is very much a puppy still!  She has her favorite spots, usually Jerry's recliner during the day.  She has taken to stretching out in my lap {cuz Ginger was in Jerry's} as long as I put a blanket over her so that the passing yarn wouldn't tickle her while she was sleeping.  Otherwise, she fidgets and glares at me.

One of Jerry's students is graduating.  She has been our house and doggie sitter for us for the past four years.  She got married over Christmas.  So the other night, Jerry grilled chicken and corn on the cob, served up with his mashed potato salad {omg, so good!} for "The Smiths".  She brought her lil tiny eight pound poodle over and Sophie welcomed the lil fuzzy curly five year old rescue like an old long lost buddy.  They even sat on the chair together, watching us eat and keeping an eye out for morsels that might make it their way.

Summer is well on its way!  We've hosted two cook~outs already with more planned.  Here it is almost May!  That means that Mother's Day is just around the corner.

Speaking of mothers, mine has been teaching basket~weaving on Wednesdays at a local center.  More on that later, it deserves its own entry.  And my husband's mother joined me in physical therapy for awhile.  I've been going for months now, but now that the Cotton District Arts Festival is over, I've reduced to once per week, rather than twice.  It's amazing how much of an improvement in general I have noticed!

Also, Jerry's youngest son and his wife are expecting their first in mid~September!  So we have a new mama in the family, since I'm focused on mothers, thought this would be an excellent time to mention that.  The lil girl is tremendously treasured already, at week 18 or so in~utero.  I am amazed at how detailed these sonograms can be!  I usually smile and nod vaguely when I look at these grey white and black scans of blobs when I am presented with a gushing mother~to~be and her shots.  But this imagining now is so detailed that it's almost like seeing a sleeping newborn.  And she isn't even at midTerm yet!  Almost, not quite.

This spring was crammed with all sorts of community events that I was involved with.  Starkville Writers had a second annual Celtic Celebration.  In addition to readings of selections, essays, autobiographies, poems, and fairy~tales; we also had dancing; and announced the winners of the Starkville Memories essay contest.  The BookMart DownTown's Cafe had Rubens, Irish Stew, Irish Soda Bread, shamrock sugar cookies, and one of the writers brought in a wonderful lime sherbert punch and some cake.  It was quite successful and we had pictures with the Mayor and the sixth graders who won, along with their teachers.  I think it will be well~remembered for years to come.

Especially since we will be placing the essays in to the Time~Capsule as Starkville concludes its year~long celebration of its 175th birthday.  We intend for the Time~Capsule to be opened when Starkville celebrates its 200th in 2037.  I'll be 66.  Suddenly, that doesn't seem so far away.  My mom turns 66 this October.  Just to put it all into perspective.

This year was the first year that I co~chaired the Writers' Village for the Cotton District Arts Festival here in Starkville.  It was really cool and I'd love to do it again.  I think that this was a great group of folks to learn the ropes from and they all work well together, so I'm looking forward to seeing what the future brings.  This too deserves its own entry, so more on that later.

I met some fantastic folks these last few months, in several different venues.  I've been getting some knitting and crochet done.  But most everything got put on hold til May, when the spring's events were completed.  Now I have more than enough to do for the next few months!

So I think that brings the general over view up to date.  I will be writing more, more often.  That's a promise!

The Girls

The really cool thing about our girls is that they all get along swimmingly.  Shaddow even shares her bed with the two lil ones and they all gnaw on their treats together, as pictured here.  Shaddow is the black lab, with the aged~white hair on her face.  She'll be twelve this year!  Sophie is the black & tan stout lil chiweenie in the back on the right.  She resembles a short~haired dachshund more so then a chihuahua.  Sophie is two now.

Ginger is the latest addition to our household.  She's the long~legged thirteen pound Italian~GreyHound/Chihuahua mix above and to the right, pictured with Jerry.  Due to some camera trickery, it appears that Ginger has a green eye and a red one; she doesn't.  Her eyes are the most unusual of our three girls.  She has light golden eyes that can appear to be very deep like the rich Lion Syrup that we used to get in cans when I was little.  Ginger and Sophie are best buds; but when Jerry is home, Ginger throws Sophie over to snuggle with Jerry.  She gets all comfy and noodly, that super relaxed state of bliss and safe security.  She presses her lithe body into his chest, and sighs with such content, that I swear her lil doggie smile is one of pure joy!

I know how she feels.  He's a good guy, a sweetieheart, and you can't help but feel calm when with him.

What, what?!?

Two months?!?  Holee~Bat~Babee!  Two months since I last posted...wow.  Altho, this last year has been pretty scanty post~wise as a whole.  Let's see if I can't do better this year, what say, hey?

So here's a picture of our two lil girls {Shaddow is our big girl and she is not in this picture, if I am not mistaken, at the time I was holding the camera, she was outside on the concrete park pad sunning herself and soaking up the warm rays even tho the day was not exactly warm}.

Sophie is the darker zaftig chiweenie while Ginger is the skinny blonde model.  Ginger has been with us for almost three months now, tho we are considering mid~March to be her birthday because no one is sure how old she is.  She has gained one whole pound since being with us, so she is now thirteen pounds and I think she is her full grown adult size.  Sophie, like me, needs to lose weight.  For Sophie, it is mere ounces, but I think she is finding it to be a chore also.  Relatively speaking, three or four pounds from the 22 she weighs is roughly like me losing forty to fifty at this point.  Poor thing, she can't even jump up on the bed and her stocky lil legs and long spine are not meant to handle any excess.  So we need to stop giving her so many treats and now that the holidays are over, there are not quite so many tasty dishes...for either of us.

Well, I've settled into the new year.  Wrote a short short for the writers' group here, keeping track of assignments, activities, and goals.  So that's good.  I started off the year with catching up on several to~do lists of stuff that I'd put on hold during the holidays, including getting organized in general and transferring birthdays, anniversaries, and appts to the new calendars.

This means that several of the meetings that I'd been meaning to get to, but had been lax on attending; well, now they are fresh in my mind and so I have no excuse for not getting to the various committees, writing groups, knitting groups, etc.  None.  Sigh.

Unless you count the odd weather we had this past week.  That provided an excellent excuse for me to stay indoors, out of the chilly wet slushy snow that actually stuck to the ground, which is a big huge thing for Mississippi.  I can drive in that, but many others can not so why would I want to risk an accident in several tons in order to show at a meeting?  Besides, I kept warm and toasty and dry and comfy in my jammies.  Cuddling with the pups and a pile of yarn, tho not always at the same time.  Lots of folks don't want items with pet hair, not even short lil matching hair.  Especially if it isn't their pet.  Can you imagine?

There are some after~holiday yarn sales at a few of the tried and true places.  One of the places, Herrschners is having a pretty decent series of sales because they are starting their own yarn company which I think they plan to sell exclusively their own brand {Willow} instead of what had been the house brand {Herrschner} and other yarns like Red Heart, Lion's Brand, Caron, TLC, Village Yarn, Nob Hill, Sundance, Northland, Universal, Dept 71, Bernat, and others.  The last few times I dealt with Herrschner, it was a pain in the ass and there were all sorts of SNAFUs.  But this might be worth it, cuz the sales are pretty tempting.

I brought home an afghan I had made several years back from my husband's youngest son's house.  I'd made 120 hexagons and joined them into a king~sized afghan.  The problem was that I didn't join the full width of the hex seam cuz I was probably thinking that I would need those corner stitches to seam the strip together.  Sillee mee!!

So I had this gaping hole at the juncture of the three adjoining hexes and I thought, "oh I'll take the quilt theme one step further", cuz it was basically like a Grandma's Country Flower Garden pattern in that the hexagons are used in both.  So I tied knots at those junctures, thinking about the lovely knotted quilts.

This experiment? FAILED.  The yarn is meant to have nice drape, and it does.  So nice that the knotted areas drape too.  Which is so not what I wanted to happen.  So I'm going to take the seams out and rejoin all the hexes again.  Completely, this time.  No knots that might fray or come apart and no big ole gaping holes.

I'm also doing some hats and scarves for St Anne's in B'ham.  I want to get those done and out to them so that they can use them while it is still cold enough to need them!  Otherwise, what's the point of hats and scarves?  I'll probably send them a few lapghans too, later in the year, cuz you can always use those.

As far as news in the family, my husband's eldest daughter graduated with her associate's while his youngest daughter just enrolled in college.  His middle daughter is doing great in school, 4.0, go girl, go!  His older son just was promoted at work and is making it thru his New Jersey winter {bit of a difference from Mississippi, doncha know}.  His younger son made chief in the coast guard last month and so will be attending school for awhile this spring.  He also got his next assignment and it was exactly what he wanted.  Yea!  So it seems everyone is doing well, working hard, and for the most part happy.

So I think that my husband is happy.  He is enjoying his last few weeks of football, and is off work tomorrow as it is a holiday at the university.  In fact, I hear him urging one of his teams to get it together right now.  I mean, they do hear him, don't they?

Hope every one stays healthy, avoids the flu, and is landing on their feet ok post~holiday!

Sophie's new friend: Ginger

These two could have been named Ying & Yang.  Sophie, is our two year old lil chiweenie who is a very compact twenty pound sweet girl who would make an excellent ferocious derby gurl with a wicked hip~check, has been with us since she was a ten week old five pounder.  Ginger is not quite a year old, by all accounts.  She too is a mix of chihuahua, but the Italian Greyhound is the predominant breed in her.  She is allllllllllll leg.  Fully grown now, she is about twelve pounds.  So we now have a short dense lil dark girl and a tall {comparatively speaking} leggy blonde one.  They get along like they have been besties from birth.

One of my latest projects

This is one of the two shawls I've been knitting for about ten days now.  This is cotton, Bernat's fruit explosion and blueberry.  I'm using a set of size five needles, on 1960's set of Sear's interchangeables that I found on eBay last year {earlier blog entry}.  This is about seventy rows of a 180 row shawl.  There are about 150 stitches per row now, when it is finished, there will be close to six hundred per row.  I really want to get this done, as the person I am doing it for will go on maternity leave next week.

Bug~Eyed

Wow, I started this yesterday and finished it today.  It's my first counted cross~stitch in years.  I did one, well a partial one, when I was in uhm seventh grade?  Home Ec.  That was almost thirty years ago {...wow...}.  Then almost ten years ago, I did some plastic canvas and then used the same principles to make a keepsake quilt for my friend's baby.  But this is the first actual counted cross~stitch I've ever completed.  I improvised a lil with the legs, cuz I wanted to give it character.  The back looks atrocious, but you can't see that, cuz I didn't take a pic of it.  There are a few places where my stitches get really wonky, with one side of the X a bit shorter and the other side a bit longer, so it's really sorta lop~sided.  But if I didn't go pointing out all that, would you have noticed?

Flowers of the Month

My mom embroiders quilts, wall~hangings, etc.  In fact, this one pulls double duty!  Mom made it for me about five years ago, as a wall~hanging that covered my windows above my bed when I lived on the farm.  Now it is used as a quilt on the guest bedroom that contains my bed from before I was married.

Her work is very good, entirely by hand.  The back of her work looks beautiful.  When held to the light, no loose threads, knots, etc are visible.  She's my mom, I know, and I may be biased...but objectively?  She's awesome!

Dare to Dream

My mother had made this for me around ten years ago.  She embroidered and quilted it entirely by hand.  Some folks asked to see some of her work, cuz ya know, I was bragging on her.  So click for enlarged view to see detail.

Fire in the Bowl

The above bowl was painted/glazed and fired last week when my friend and her family were here.  It's the second piece I've done, with the leaf pictured here being the first piece.  I did the leaf a few weeks ago, when my friend from Chattanooga was here.

I'm still getting used to the techniques, what the brushes can do, what the layers of the colors do, and how things will look on the finished product.  It's a learning experience!  It's fun, tho I think sometime I will go when I am by myself so that I can really take my time.

Bidding farewell

Well, after a leisurely morning, a few movies, and a lunch at Mugshots; my friends and I picked up our freshly glazed and fired ceramics.  I'll include a pic in a future blog of my yarn bowl {"fire in the bowl!"}.  We returned to the house, where the rest of them watch a movie, while I napped for a bit til Jerry came home from work.  Then we saw our company off.

Now Jerry and I have watch a couple movies this evening.  It's going to be a SOMSA* weekend.  I am really looking forward to that!!


*Sit On My Sorry Ass

Today {or ya know, yesterday...cuz it's after midnight}

So here we are, late Wed night, early Thursday morning.  This morning when I woke up, I felt kinda weird, so I sat up for awhile even tho it was five.  After my husband left for work, I went back to bed and slept a lil longer.

Then when I woke up for the day, my friend and her son had both been ill to their stomachs, apparently the pizza they'd eaten the night before didn't agree with them.  Whatever it was passed tho, and my friend and I watched "Kiss the Girls".  Then I, my friend, and her husband braved the downpour and went to Woodlawn, a small community a county or so away which has a furniture facility in the old school campus.

After we returned from that, my husband was already home as he'd taken the afternoon off, so that he could grill chicken quarters for my friends and mom.  We had a nice afternoon and the food was so good it made my tummy very happy!  Later, Jerry made us all shakes, and oh my, does he spoil me rotten!!!

The other three adults went to bed early, while me and the kids watched a couple movies.  One was "the quiet" and the other was "orphan".  The first was eh, so I deleted it after we watched it.  But "orphan", dude!  That was a good movie and I saved it so that my husband and I could watch it this weekend.

Tomorrow, my friends will leave later in the afternoon, or early evening.  That way they can drive the night thru and the kids can sleep, with the family arriving back home in Pennsylvania on Friday.  Hopefully, our ceramic pieces will be ready for pick up tomorrow afternoon before they go, so that they can take them with them; but if not, it's no problem to mail them when they are ready.

It's been fun to have them here, we'll have to get together more often than once every ten years and then boom, twice in nine months.  Perhaps we can take turns, and see each other at least every other year, sorta like the Olympics...either the summer {us in the south} or the winter {them in the north} occurs every two years...just an idear...

Late Night Posting

Well, I missed posting yesterday, having posted late Sunday night but being too tired last night.  So let me think, we girls did go have mani/pedis done {their first} and then we went to see my mom for a bit.  Mom said that my friend's daughter does look lots like her when my friend was her age.  Since mom knew my friend since she was ten, I'd say she was qualified to know!  We caught up for awhile and then came home to join her husband and son for a few minutes before my husband came home from work.

Then mom brought some of her wine over for a tasting.  There was strawberry white zinfandel, Arkansas Indian Peach, Cherry Chocolate, and Ozark WildBerry.  We have a partial bottle left from our annual autumnal trip to Natchez last year of Miss Scarlett, a sweet red muscadine wine that the winery there makes.

In the meantime, we girls have become looming fools.  My friend has bought her own set of round knitting looms, so there are more than enough for the three of us to be working on an assortment of hat sizes at one time.  We've made hats for babies, for children, for adults, for ourselves, single brimmed, double brimmed, no brimmed, acrylic, super soft and plush, blue, green, white, pink, and just about any other combination of hats there of!  It's been fun and I get to figure out how to correct mistakes without ripping the whole hat out and redoing it.

Today, we went to the local public library, then for lunch at Lil Dooey's, a local favorite.  I ordered a sampler to share, with fried green tomatoes, fried okra, and fried pickles.  Then my husband and I had bbq, while the kids had chicken tenders, and their parents had the daily special {great burgers}.  My husband took the afternoon off and took their son fishing, while we girls went to Dandy Doodlez and painted plates, trivets, and bowls.  Then I took my friend and her daughter to Tuesday Morning, where we each found some finds.

Time's flying by and before you know it, our visit will be thru!  I think they are having a good time, so that's good.  I know I am.

Today, after we were all up and about, and I ate my third breakfast and drank my second pot of coffee; my husband went to work at the library and the rest of us set off in my lil cute car.  We drove over toward Columbus and chatted about cat~fish farming and other Mississippi sights and smells.  Once in Columbus, we drove thru the old cemetery, Friendship, and visited the weeping angel {for the Teasdale family}.  I told them the bit about what we know as Memorial Day being started at the Columbus Friendship Cemetery, as the women in town would decorate the soldiers' graves for both the Union and Confederacy dead.  It was a sign of honor and respect, and is a true tradition that continues thru much of the USA, having its roots ri'icher, in our Golden Triangle.

Then we drove around, looking at various homes and building styles and such.  I pointed out the Palmer Home for Children and told them the back story there.  We then decided to head on over to the Waverly Mansion, as I wasn't sure how much time we had left before they stopped accepting guests for the tours for the day.

Melanie, Rob't Snow's daughter, was gracious and my friend and her family had a blast and enjoyed themselves very much.  We walked the grounds afterward, and altho we all were so heated and damp, we enjoyed the staying of the heat, instead of the climbing soaring humidity.  The sun was beginning to set and the hottest part of the day was past.  We also took a walk into the old family plot, viewing some of the stones and such.

Then we drove back to Starkville, taking the back roads thru West Point and out past what til recently had been Oktibbeha County Lake.  We stopped to eat at Abner's, a chicken spot that is truly a local favorite.  Then we drove home, thru the odd storminess.  It was a long day, but we all showered and settled in for FernGully {1982} with the adults struggling to stay awake and the kids wanting to stay up past our bedtime {we adults were zzzzonked!}.

We'd talked about plans for the next few days, and I'm about ready to head to bed myself.  The house in quiet except for the chirping crickets that my husband had bought yesterday for bait when he and our friends' son went fishing, out back at our two small ponds.  The dogs are slumbering, with Shaddow doing her Zzzzzzzzzen breathing.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhmmmmm

Have a good start to your new week!

{HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my husband's youngest son, he's 29 for the first time; whereas my mother is celebrating her 29th for the uhmmm 37th time this year; at this rate, she's still younger than me!   ~*snicker*~}

LOOK~~more childhood friends!!

Yesterday, my bestest friend from childhood who resides in the town we grew up in came to see me from Catawissa, PA {on the north branch of the Susquehanna River}.  She and her husband are celebrating their twentieth anniversary next month.  Dude, she's old!  Well, only five days older than me, but still...And her hubby is uhhhhhm, 8?  no, 9? years older than her.  Their two children came down too, Daughter is thirteen {how the hell is that possible?!?} and Son is eleven.

They'll be here til Thursday, when they must return to PA, as it is slightly more than a thousand miles {about eighteen hours, with minimal stoppage for gas and restroom breaks} and my friend must rest a bit before returning to work on Sunday night.  So, yesterday we visited, unpacked the food they brought for me {sweet lebanon bologna, extra sharp cheese, and ring~bologna} as well as the cases of assorted sodas {Big Ben's Bottling Works makes some of the strongest soda, including Moxie, which will put the curly hairs on your chest, it's that potent}, then She and I went over to see my mom quick before we ended up getting texted by two folks and called cuz "we're hungry".  So my husband and I took them to China Garden, for the buffet, and then split up, guys in one car to go to Noxubee Refuge and the girls in the other to drive around and do some story telling.  Then we met back at the house where the guys went fishing and we girls started to loom/rake~knit some hats.  We watched a movie, the first four episodes ever of Futurama, and we all dropped off like flies as the night wore on.

Today, I'm not sure what's in the works yet.  My husband and I, along with our chiweenie {my lil "schnausage dauk"} Sophie went for coffee {humans} and TOTS! at the TOT~SPOT! {Sophie}.  We read our papers when we returned {humans}, while Sophie took her early~morning nap. The rest of the house is still snoozing along with her.

A few years ago, when my husband and I wed; I had told my out~of~state friends not to worry about coming to the wedding as I wouldn't have much time to visit with them and so if they made the trip here, it'd be better to wait til some other time when we could actually focus on each other and catch up without tons of distractions.  I'm glad that we are able to spend the time now!  I think tho after this, we're going to be thru with company for awhile, but then again, it's hard to believe it is this late in the year already, right?

So, I may not be around much this week, or you might see an entry EVERY DAY {gasp}.  Cuz I was using my blog as a way to journal events and thoughts and such, so that I can look back and be all like, oh yeah!  That's what was going on in my life then.  But in the past year, I've kinda gotten away from that.  So guess what?  I may be BACK.  {does that scare ya?  no?  well, good.  cuz if'n it did, you shouldn't be here; skirtee kat}

Good Sunday to all!

doings and such

Well, the year is almost half over and I've only a baker's dozen of entries since January!  I'm not going to do a complete update, which is what has been so overwhelming and actually keeping me from posting; but I will share some stuff that has been going on recently over the next few entries.

Brenda and I went to high~school together in Pennsylvania, stayed in contact thru our college years, and then lost touch in our mid~ to late~twenties.  I'd moved to Georgia and then Alabama and then went with my father to Colorado for a few months.  He still lived in PA, so when I was there visiting, I called Brenda's mother's place and found out that Brenda had moved to Chattanooga, Tennessee years before!  Right around the same time I moved to Georgia!  Turns out that we only lived a few hours apart, so when I returned to AL, we re~established contact and kept in touch over the years, thru my next several moves.

This past week, Brenda came to hang out with me for a week here in Mississippi.  Her daughter was at summer camp at the Tennessee School for the Blind near Nashville and her son was staying with his father for the week.  Brenda's husband had to work {as he already planned to use his vacation time next month, when the entire family will celebrate the daughter's sweet sixteen}, so he wasn't able to join us, but maybe next year.  So this is the first time in six years that Brenda was able to take a trip away from home, without the kids, for an entire week!  Wahoo!!!

Brenda is completely blind.  She can see only extreme bright contrasted with extreme darkness.  So if we were inside a darkened house and then stepped out into bright sunshine, she can sense that change.  But if she were outside when the sun is setting, she wouldn't see the gradual darkness, tho she would eventually know that it is dark.

So I describe lots to her about our surrounding environment, whether it is driving, walking, indoors, and what not.  I didn't realize how much stuff I don't really take an active notice of until I started painting verbal pictures for her.  We even got the various maps out and I showed her the outline and how the road cuts thru the state or county and where we live and where town is and such and so forth.  As a child, she loved maps, and I still do; so that's cool, cuz it helps to orient us in relation to where we've been, where we're going, and where we are.

Last Saturday, I went to Chattanooga and Sunday we returned to Starkville.  The foothills of Chattanooga eventually fade away into rolling foothills in Birmingham, and then the land flattens as we drove west thru Tuscaloosa into Mississippi.  Occasionally, I'd not provide enough detail and she'd ask what river we were crossing, cuz she'd feel the road surface change to a bridge.  Sometimes, it'd be water, but it might be just as likely to be a bridge over a ravine or an overpass, since we stayed on the interstate for the most part.

My mom joined the two of us and we went for soups, salads, and sandwiches at Newk's after we got into Starkville Sunday.  Monday, I took her on a driving tour of Starkville and some of the surrounding area.  We went to the university's library on the main campus; on the fourth floor is the Charles Templeton's Music Museum.  There are scads and scads of gramophones, Edisons, Victrolas, automatic pianos, player pianos, display cases, and such.  Templeton bought these items when they were newly invented and produced, acquiring them from about 1880 thru the 1930s.  The entire collection of Templeton, an area business man who loved rag~time music and lived during the era when that was contemporary, was gifted to MSU.  A student gave us a tour of the holdings, demonstrating and playing several of the pieces for us, including a few models of the Victrola and what was one of the first jukeboxes.  She was very gracious about allowing us to take our time, as I fumbled for some adequate words to describe some of the features that are so very different from our own era of technology.  The student did a wonderful job answering questions and allowed us to inspect several items up close so that mere words didn't have to suffice.  Kudos to her!

We ate at so many local places this past week, including Lil Dooey's, Mugshots, BookMart DownTown's Cafe, Local Culture, La Terraza, City Bagel, HalfWay House, and I am sure that I am forgetting a place or two.  I tend to avoid franchises and chains, preferring to support local stuff that gives local flavor; local eateries help to give a town its identity, like Jim & Nick's BBQ in Birmingham.  However, we did hit Sonic, Logan's and Pizza Hut while on our trips to and from Chattanooga as that was where she wanted to go, and this was her vacation. 

Monday afternoon, we were able to actually go inside the Chapel of Memories.  Altho I've often sat outside the Chapel and listened to the bells and carillon, I'd never been inside before; so that was extra cool.  The Chapel of Memories is a favored site for weddings and such for the MSU alumni.  It was constructed in part, using the bricks from the original old dormitory that had burned a century ago.  So in addition to having some current significance, it also has a bit of history.

Brenda probably now knows more about Starkville, MSU, and the surrounding area's history then most folks who call Oktibbeha County home.  I kept asking her to stop me if I was giving too much detail, but she pointed out that she'd rather have too much than not enough.  So we visited Oktibbeha County Heritage Museum, as well as attending a presentation at our local public library about Mayhew Mission, which started what eventually became the influx of European settlers into the area, pushing out the Choctaws, and leading to the development of the railroad, Boardtown, and eventually Starkville.

I'm not a huge shopper, but Brenda had asked to go to a few specialty stores.  So we went to a few places that are unique, including Aspen Bay Candles, which are made here in Starkville.  That store was awesome, as there are different lines of candles, various scents in each line, complete with a variety of products in addition to candles {like room freshners, reed diffusers, linen sprays, soaps, etc}.  The various lines are all presented and packaged differently, so it was an interesting few hours of leisurely inspecting products.

Most places were really cool about letting us poke around and stuff.  The art galleries and museums were staffed with excellent folks!  The museums here are very small and highly specialized, for instance, there is one that focuses on over four HUNDRED different types of clocks.  We didn't visit that one, but I'll check it out some time in the near future.

On Thursday at noon, the Columbus Arts Council hosted a free mini~concert by several of the students who are taking part in this year's summer camp by the American Wind Symphony Orchestra.  It was awesome!  There was also a show on Saturday night, that we didn't go to.  If you ever have a chance to see this floating ensemble, DO!!  It's well worth it and very unique.

We also watched a few movies here at my place, including the latest X~Men and Despicable Me.  Describing X~Men wore me out, I ended up going to bed immediately afterward.  I had it downpat, the whole describing thing, but some of the action sequences got kinda confusing, what with all the names, characters, outfits, special abilities, who was who and what they did to whom, and all of it is occurring simultaneously.  We started to get a kick out of how many times I ended up saying, "meanwhile" to talk about different engagements of the battle toward the end of the movie.  It took about three and a half hours for us to watch a two hour movie cuz I kept having to pause things and then we'd go back and rewatch a sequence after a detailed description with me just mentioning key words here and there the second time around so it could flow better.

At one point during our driving around, this was in the Noxubee Wildlife Refuge, I bit my tongue and cheek.  Do you realize how difficult it is to talk with a sore tongue?  I was trying not to further irritate it, yet be clear and not slur.  However, I had to take a break from narrating.  As we drove back into town, Brenda was able to say what we were passing as we did, cuz we'd been down that road several times.  So I said, "great!  You drive for awhile!"

Brenda has a great sense of humor, tho sometimes it will take folks by surprise cuz there are some things that folks think are taboo and she pokes fun at herself.  Like saying that she got distracted, missed the sign, had to drive around the block, and by the time she got back, the parking spot was taken.  Didn't see any other.  So she parked in the handicapped spot, do you think that's alright?  She asked, and at first the store's employee was nodding her head, but you could see it dawning on her, and then she didn't know that it was ok to laugh.

One of the favorite parts of the week was our visit to Dandy Doodlez, a local business where you paint the preformed ceramics and then they fire it, so you can pick it up.  Brenda likes dolphins and I like leaves and trees.  So we each painted away.  The folks there were nice and helpful, tho the one woman kept gesturing while talking with us, which is fine, except she didn't use the accompanying verbal cues; but we were able to find everything and had a good afternoon. When I pick up the finished products, I'll take pix and post them!

We stopped in Birmingham on our return trip to Chattanooga and visited with some friends that Brenda knows.  They treated us for lunch at Jim & Nick's BBQ.  It was awesome!  Also, we had the best service ever.  When we got there, it was lunch time on a Saturday, which meant there were people waiting to be seated.  But as we crossed the parking lot, from my car to the restaurant, I spoke to one of the employees to ask if it was ok to park where I did.  She assured me that it was fine, and then she went ahead and I think spoke with the manager.  I'm not positive.  But I think so, cuz he met us at the door, and seated us immediately.  I wasn't expecting that.  On the other hand, we were definitely the blind leading the blind, since we'd formed a sort of chain with me as the seeing~eye person, leading Brenda, who lead her friend, who lead her husband.  We're all different sizes with the two ladies being slight and thin and me being a big girl {which was good since I was leading the way} and the husband being a large man, tall and broad.  We had a good time and there was lots of laughter, both at ourselves and at the various situations, including one of the t~shirts that was available at the restaurant {"you can smell our butts!" with a large smiling pig's face}.

This morning, I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep, so got on the road and traveled back to Starkville, arriving just as my husband opened the door to take Sophie on her weekly tot~run.  Jerry, Sophie and I went to Sonic and got our breakfasts.  Jerry and I had egg and meat burritos, with coffee; while Sophie got the tots.  So that was a great way to start my Sunday!!

new neighbor

My mother is moving here to Mississippi!  At the end of March, a new~to~her trailer was moved from a different county to her new patch.  While her new home is structurally sound, it needed a lot of scrubbing, deglossing and Krud Kutting, carpet and pad removed, tacking strips removed, and other prep work.  Then two coats of KilZ stain blocker to all the painted walls and ceilings, tho some of the walls are paneled or partially paneled.  The prep work was intense and exhaustive.

So she is now painting the two top coats where applicable.  She's getting ready to lay the tile on the floors where the carpet/pad was ripped up.  The kitchen cupboards and drawers have been scrubbed, the hardware soaked and replaced.   The window blinds have been replaced, the ceiling fans have been scrubbed, and all the outlet and switch plates have been cleaned {just need to be replaced}.

She's done at least 97% of the work herself.  My husband has been pouring quickcrete parking pads for her, as when the gravel was brought in for the pad for the trailer placement for proper drainage {new laws}, the trucks were so heavy that the asphalt parking tabs were torn up, chewed up, and spat out.  Apparently no matter how you slice it, thirty yards of gravel is some heavy shit!

Some folks are coming in to help move all her stuff in, and while they are here, they will be putting the skirting on the trailer.  Perhaps they will even hang the gutters and downspouting so that when it rains, she doesn't need to worry if the wind will find any cracks or crevices and damp spots appear later.  They might even be able to replace a kitchen light {the one that had been there was a frightful mess}.

Welcome to Mississippi, Mom!

{and happy mother's day to you}

I have to praise you like I should

There is something catchy about FatBoy Slim's "Praise You" that I really like.  I'm sure that it drives some folks bonkers, cuz it is very repetitive, but I like that simplicity and it falls in line with my admiration of "tell me something good" and the encouraging endorsement of being appreciated and appreciating others and tell them so.

The reason I've been thinking about these things is because my husband has been so very loving, caring, supportive, accepting, and a bunch of other exceptional qualities that I'm sure my friends get sick of me harping about ~~ literally harping, I have a tiny harp that I whip out and flutter my fingers across while singing his praises.  Did that just make you throw up a lil in your mouth?  Good, that serves your cynically jaded self right.

I've been extremely exhausted for quite some time.  Dreams, nightmares, night~terrors, jumbled and jangled, and when I awake, I'm exhausted.  It would seem humorously ironic, to be exhausted from sleep; but it isn't.  It's terrifying.  Cuz your mind begins to play tricks on you, or at least mine does.  Humans are meant to get sleep, restful, restive, peaceful, lovely sleep.

In the past, nappage has served to provide a great gap to give relief when I've had a rough night.  But that doesn't even seem to be working well anymore.  I easily reach the depths of REM, where the ongoing twisted adventure of anxiety awaits to suck me down and spit me out, even more exhausted than before I slipped between the covers.

Yes, I am addressing this with both my counselor and my pDoc {in this case, she is a nurse~practitioner who specializes in psychiatry~~I'm loving this woman to the nth degree, esp since it took so long for me to find her}.  I've been yappling about it of late with just about anyone who knows me, including unknown folks like you and you and that guy over there with the gum in his hair.

My husband has been right along with me, offering to slay the beasts and demons in my dreams.  He's my hero, always.  Thing is, he can't enter my dreams at will.  I can't seem to control much in the way of my dreams, either.  So his suggestion of calling him forth into my dreams to save the day isn't really viable, tho it is so sweet and loving that it almost makes me cry.  Which these days, it doesn't take much to make me weep, lack of peaceful restive sleep can wreck all kinds of havoc.

I know I haven't been posting much, or often.  Part of that is simply life events and part of that is lacking the energy to focus well.  However, that may be changing.

I have been knitting afghans, lapghans, fashion scarvettes, shawls, and caps.  Some pix are forth coming.  Also, I've been rereading Susan Wittig Albert's The Cottage Tales of Beatrix Potter.  It's a series that I'd begun a few years back, but since she's published more, so I've reread the first few so that I know where I am in the story line.  I'm enjoying them, even if they do take me awhile to get thru...I end up reading paragraphs several times before I realize that I'm not retaining anything and need to pick this up some other time.

In a way, all this seems very similar to ten years ago...with the huge difference that I'm not quite so panicked about it and also that my husband lends me a security that gives me the chance to feel safe in facing these things.  He deserves all my love and he has it!!